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AIBU?

AIBU to think DH may be having an affair??

586 replies

Autvet · 22/06/2017 19:46

Asking because I can't get my head round this.... please help!! DH works away a lot, nice hotels etc ... emptying his trousers for washing this evening ( yep I'm living the dream) & found his room paper key for yesterday's hotel stay - no of people on room is 2 confused.... he called me to say hi last night but from the hotel gardens as reception 'awful' in hotel room.... am I being suspicious or is it deserved?? Really want to call hotel as I've kept room key etc but how can I find out how many people stayed etc etc ?? Any ideas ?? sad

OP posts:
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carjacker1985 · 22/06/2017 20:43

Discussing insecurities in general with my DH- fine. A healthy part of a relationship.

Demanding to see his phone to put my mind at rest because it's his job to "reassure me" even if he's done nothing wrong- manipulative and untrusting.

Why isn't it my job to trust him?

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PhyllisNights · 22/06/2017 20:44

I'd get my hands on receipts. Perhaps call reception through to his room the next time he's away? Hell, I'd be tempted to follow him in disguise one night.

Also, him telling you how awful the hotel was is usually a sign of guilt and trying to cover themselves with a lie.

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ComputerUserNotTrained · 22/06/2017 20:45

People check into hotels for all manner of reasons. It would be pretty fucking bad for reception to confirm or deny that someone had stayed with them to a random on the phone or with a webmail account.

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snowflake25 · 22/06/2017 20:46

Purple

I am ASSUMING that OP will not put it that way, she will say the room with two guests has really unsettled her and that he works away a lot, she feels worried....I am confident he would not take a huge offence, how could he? It is ridiculous unless you have something to hide. He knows it must be hard for her even at the best of times....

It is unrealistic that you can be so super confident (and slightly pious) about your DH...pride before a fall springs to mind.

No one can be a 100 per cent certain of anything in life...it is naive in the extreme. But you do sound so very lovable so I guess you could be right (hope for you that you are!)

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snowflake25 · 22/06/2017 20:48

Car jacker

Because there are two guests on the room card...keep up

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debbs77 · 22/06/2017 20:48

Hope you have some answers tomorrow xx

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ComputerUserNotTrained · 22/06/2017 20:48

Nice Hmm

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snowflake25 · 22/06/2017 20:49

Computer

Why would it be so bad of reception?? Are we not helping OP here... What side are you on pal?

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ComputerUserNotTrained · 22/06/2017 20:49

Because there are two guests on the room card.

Which means Jack shit!

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pipnchops · 22/06/2017 20:50

Could you pretend your phone is out of battery or you've left it somewhere and ask to borrow his to text someone urgently for some reason? If he's OK with that then you know he's got nothing to hide. You could have a very quick peek whilst sending the text?

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snowflake25 · 22/06/2017 20:50

Computer

I am not sure you are who we think you are...

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/06/2017 20:51

Without commenting on whether I think your husband is having an affair or not - I stay in lots of hotels and often that paper key (which is just what you have to produce for room service, going to breakfast, etc.) says 2 people even though I'm staying there on my own.

I think it's to do with occupancy, ie. the maximum number of people who can stay in the room - and have breakfast because you get 'marked off' and they check your room number.

I really hope that your suspicions are unfounded, OP.

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LucyAutumn · 22/06/2017 20:52

If you do call you could tell them that you're his assistant, I used to work as an executive assistant and had to call hotels frequently to request an invoice sent to my email. As I knew all the main booking and payment details no one ever queried it, might want to make yourself professional sounding email address though!

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carjacker1985 · 22/06/2017 20:52

Yes I've read the whole thread thanks snow.

Then she should discuss her insecurities with her DH, not bowl in demanding to see his phone. It seems that she has mentioned it and he's said it was nothing, it's up to her whether or not she trusts that he's telling the truth. If she doesn't, then that is the problem- I'm not sure going snooping around his invoices and demanding proof is the healthy way to go.

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PurpleDaisies · 22/06/2017 20:52

snowflake you're clearly looking for a fight and I'm not interested.

You don't know me, my dh or our relationship. I am certain he won't cheat. I am certain I won't. It's a shame that that's such an alien concept to you.

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justkeepswimmingg · 22/06/2017 20:52

Doesn't sound good OP, but I hope you get a good outcome tomorrow when you call. TipTop's idea is great.

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ComputerUserNotTrained · 22/06/2017 20:53

You seem determined to stir up shut between op and her dh, and to con some poor receptionist into handing over information that they've no right to give.

Who's side are you on, snowflake?

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PurpleDaisies · 22/06/2017 20:55

Why would it be so bad of reception?? Are we not helping OP here... What side are you on pal?

Where's your imagination? Domestic abuse victim fleeing their partner?

It's not helpful to tell the op the hotel will give her all the answers when they most probably won't.

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ComputerUserNotTrained · 22/06/2017 20:55

I am not sure you are who we think you are...

WTF does that mean? Confused

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Dustbunnies · 22/06/2017 20:56

When I worked as a receptionist in hotels all the room reservations would be for 2 people automatically and we normally couldn't be arsed to change it unless it was for a family of 4 or something. Therefore I wouldn't read anything into it.

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Malfoyy · 22/06/2017 20:56

Oh no OP. It does sound bad and if he looked shifty then I'd be worried. I would definitely try to contact the hotel or my favour would be to hack his email, but that's if you think you can guess his password.

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PhyllisNights · 22/06/2017 20:56

"If you do call you could tell them that you're his assistant, I used to work as an executive assistant and had to call hotels frequently to request an invoice sent to my email. As I knew all the main booking and payment details no one ever queried it, might want to make yourself professional sounding email address though!"

Brilliant, Lucy! Great advice! I'll try that if I ever become suspicious.

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OnionKnight · 22/06/2017 20:58

OP is there anything else that makes you think he's shagging around because those two reasons are pretty tame.

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NellieFiveBellies · 22/06/2017 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleDaisies · 22/06/2017 20:59

nellie you don't know who is in the rooms and who is out. I doubt it's a fire risk.

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