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AIBU to think DH may be having an affair??

586 replies

Autvet · 22/06/2017 19:46

Asking because I can't get my head round this.... please help!! DH works away a lot, nice hotels etc ... emptying his trousers for washing this evening ( yep I'm living the dream) & found his room paper key for yesterday's hotel stay - no of people on room is 2 confused.... he called me to say hi last night but from the hotel gardens as reception 'awful' in hotel room.... am I being suspicious or is it deserved?? Really want to call hotel as I've kept room key etc but how can I find out how many people stayed etc etc ?? Any ideas ?? sad

OP posts:
Electrolens · 22/06/2017 20:09

I work away and would always have a double room. Often reception is dodgy. I'm sorry you're feeling worried but I don't see a reason why from what you've said...

ComputerUserNotTrained · 22/06/2017 20:09

If he won't let you then you know he has something to hide.

Not necessarily. I'd be appalled if dp demanded "proof" that I wasn't shagging around. Anyway, what kind of proof could it provide?

Autvet · 22/06/2017 20:09

A few years ago I found a text on his phone to a woman he worked with... asking what hotel room she was in :-((... he said he was popping to see her as a friend and got really angry with me ;-( .... I don't know what to think TBH

OP posts:
LTBiscuit · 22/06/2017 20:10

Try not to worry op xx

carjacker1985 · 22/06/2017 20:10

Why were you looking at the texts on his phone?

Either he's innocent and you don't trust him for no reason whatsoever, or you know in your heart that you can't. I think you probably know which it is.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 22/06/2017 20:11

Maybe he was popping along to see her as a friend. It's not beyond the realms of possibility, is it?

Unless he's giving you other cause for concern, you're overthinking this.

troodiedoo · 22/06/2017 20:12

Ask him to show you the booking confirmation email. If he's innocent then surely he'd be happy to put your mind at rest and / or prove you wrong. Being possessive with phone not a good sign though.

PurpleDaisies · 22/06/2017 20:13

I've watched tv in the hotel room of male friends/colleagues when I've been away. Dh doesn't worry because he trusts me.

There must be more to this if you're worrying so much.

Lanaorana2 · 22/06/2017 20:13

I've stayed alone for work in rooms marked for 2. Loads of times.

Rach5l · 22/06/2017 20:13

Try not to panic, it could be innocent. But go ahead & find out from the hotel Flowers

PurpleDaisies · 22/06/2017 20:14

I'd be pretty angry if my dh demanded to see my phone/an invoice to prove I wasn't having an affair tbh.

snowflake25 · 22/06/2017 20:14

I used to work in a hotel reception and if it is a double room it will say two guests even if it is for single occupancy. Many won't believe this but it is true, we had so many dh staying for business and NONE bar one ever had an affair, and I was there around the clock so could see them coming and was surprisingly uninteresting...and restored my faith.

So just some reassurance there OP, BUT my DH and I can see each others phones anytime we like. I often text from his phone or he mine. We have no secrets and nothing to hide (that I know of) so are cool about using any phone. It does worry me that you are not allowed access to his phone....this very protective behaviour.
I would ask him to show me his phone there and then, if he has nothing to hide he won't care, if he won't show you that will tell you a lot.

I am not sure the hotel will discuss who stayed there over the phone....but you can try!

ComputerUserNotTrained · 22/06/2017 20:16

Likewise, purple.

These threads are always jumped on by posters who seem to be wanting the partner to be a philanderering bastard Confused

RockyBird · 22/06/2017 20:17

I phoned and asked for a copy of the bill to be faxed (back in the day) for my records when similar happened to me. Worked a treat...and my suspicions were correct.

Just phone and ask for a copy to be emailed to you as you need to do the expenses claim and have lost the original.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 22/06/2017 20:17

Gosh I'd be suspicious about this too,OP.

snowflake25 · 22/06/2017 20:17

Purple daisies

Why be angry if your DP is feeling insecure and worried, surely it is HIS job to make her feel reassured and relaxed. If he has nothing to hide he won't mind, and she can always tell him how she is feeling, he loves her right, he wants her to be happy...she is not happy now...she is worried. It is important for him to remind her how much he loves her...nothing wrong with that.

WaxyBean · 22/06/2017 20:18

I've been in a room all week with work - they think there's 3 of me on the paperwork, but alas only one. I've also had 5 different keys as they keep going blank on me. This sort of stuff happens in hotel.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 22/06/2017 20:18

I don't use dp's phone, and he doesn't use mine. There's nothing fishy about that.

MissBax · 22/06/2017 20:18

I'd also just ask to see his phone. It doesn't have to be as awful as "demanding proof he's not shagging about". I'd just say it's probably all me but I'm feeling really insecure because of x,y and z, and even though he shouldn't have to could you just see his phone to settle your mind. If my DH asked me this I'd be more than happy to do so and wouldn't be angry. Obviously if it became a regular occurrence I'd probably become a bit annoyed, but we're all allowed to have bad days and our OH's should be there to reassure us.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 22/06/2017 20:19

Is he due to work away again soon? You could always turn up to surprise him?

SussexMedley · 22/06/2017 20:19

Ring them up, claim you were a paying guest in that room and left behind a handbag or cardigan or something. If they act like you're nuts, he was there alone.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 22/06/2017 20:20

I'm sorry snow but what you just said that is being manipulative. If he loves her he will show her his phone?


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PurpleDaisies · 22/06/2017 20:20

snowflake If he was asking me to prove I wasn't having an affair it would show how little he trusted me. I can't imagine anybody not minding being suspected of being a cheat.

badgercat · 22/06/2017 20:20

I think I'd call and just be honest - explain what you've found and ask if it's at all possible they mark 2 guests if there is only actually 1. They won't be giving away confidential info as it's just a question about procedure .

Or call his bluff and say they confirmed 2 guests and who tf did he have there !!

snowflake25 · 22/06/2017 20:21


But you are not worried about your relationship are you? So you probably don't care, but OP is worried, and given the circumstances I think it is reasonable to speak to DH about it.

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