AIBU to ask your advice on wether it's worth taking my Neighbours from hell to court?

[Totallyattheendofmyrope]

I've had threads on here about my neighbours from hell.
We've been threatened, sworn at harassed and our visitors harassed.
We have involved the police who initially wanted to issue a harassment order against said neighbours but were overruled by their superior officer who said " it never ends well in neighbour disputes"
The actual abuse has reduced significantly though we still endure low level harassment.
I'm keeping notes etc as recommended by the police.
I've pushed for mediation and have met with the mediator however neighbours are stalling and I doubt very much they will attend.
Currently the favourite form of harassment is to park their vehicles to make it quite difficult for me to park. I can get in and I can get out but I do dread weekends and I dread coming home as I'm always so anxious about what they will have done and will I be able to get in ok etc.
I have checked my deeds and they are blocking my "easement ' and it states in the deeds that no one is allowed to do anything to hinder another's ingress and egress.
Currently the neighbours are freely enjoying and utilising the easement I honour and provide them with on my land.
So- Aibu to consider starting legal proceedings or am I just feeding into their crazy?
What would you do?

Car Turntable (I've Googles £4666+VAT for a single car)
Drive in, turn 180 degrees. No reversing.

Hopefully the constant stop/start of their cars will knacker them. (I have a car-mover neighbour, )

If they have builders who park badly/block you , then you need to move them. Even if you're not going out.
Even better if you can mention to them when they come round to price up, they take into account how easy access will be.
If you can warn them its a nightmare as are your neighbours they might not take them up on the job.

for you bunting

Thank you everyone for your opinions and advice.
My dh is away and you all make me feel less alone.
I've got some ideas from this thread that I'm going to mull over.

Bunting no one should have to live like that. Get a big ass dog and take it everywhere with you. A long haired German shepherd might be good. We had six at one time nobody bothered me ever. Seriously how awful.

You know he might be right once they feel like they have the oneupmanship the may just crawl back under the hole they came from. Even if you did kinda brag about your car what's it to them. That's keeping up with the joneses gone bad. Could you get a big dog too and teach it growl at the cretins or catch some rats and stick them through the letter box when they are not Home.

We have a nice car that's worth a bit but the neighbours have two nice cars I'd never dream of shouting at them for that. Christ it's all so petty again just sorry you are having to live like that.

I know it's a terrible way to think but it's where I am mentally ... last night I wouldn't go get milk , I've taken to rearranging my whole life to leave when they'll be out and I resist leaving the house at weekends because I dread coming home.

This just isn't good enough. The police need to pull their fingers out. Call them and report every incident. The squeaky wheel gets the oil, and you shouldn't have to feel so anxious about your own home. I'm not sure mediation is appropriate when they are clearly subjecting you to harassment and intimidation either.

Before I'd read your DHs theory I thought this was probably rooted in jealousy. How sad and pathetic they are to resent a stranger doing well for themselves.

Loving the turntable idea

Definitely you must do the YouTube thing, make a fortune from the millions of views, started of course right on mn, and then take them an expensive bottle of wine and thank them for the income...

We had this with our previous neighbours constantly blocking our shared drive and allowing their visitors to do so too. She even wrote to dh work and said he had a drink problem! We contacted a solicitor and they received a letter regarding harassment and we're told that if they contacted us in any way shape or form or blocked our access they would be sued for harassment. It cost us about £100 in 2009. Good luck op, it's horrible, but know that karma is a bitch! Our neighbours ended up splitting up and losing about £20 grand on their house (not that I laughed, but if I were to put the full woeful tale on here it'd take 2 years to read!)

OP,

I'm with the person on page one who says NO SOLICITORS. If you formally complain it does have to be noted if you sell.

We moved from our first house and a massive reason was down to idiot neighbours and parking.

My best suggestion is to ignore them. Don't rise to it. If you can afford to- buy an old car so it doesn't matter if it's damaged and try try try not to get them get to it.

I really know how hard it can be- I was a curtain twitcher, I couldn't bear living in such close quarters and I hated neighbour issues.

My parents have issues with the people next door to them and it's made life miserable - probably for them as well.

Chin up.

Also if the neighbour is having building work done you could contact the house and ask for it to be inspected? Hassle for them.

And what about driveway parking bollards?

They fold up and down and lock in place when necessary.

Wear a discreet body cam so everything is recorded - that will help enormously in getting police to act.
They aren't going to stop as they are clearly bullies with little else in their lives to make them feel 'successful' - so you have to either move, learn to ignore (though with bullies that often is a cue to escalate their obnoxiousness) or get big guns, metaphorically speaking, involved. If police refuse to act when evidence is clear, write to your MP emphasising your vulnerability and your childs' too. They will the take it up with police on your behalf and ask for a record of action taken.
You will need to prepare for a long haul though - these disputes are notoriously difficult to progress unless evidence is clear cut.
(I'm no expert - but know someone who went through this and much worse for 3 years til the bully boys were evicted). Their refusal at mediation will work in your favour - but if it takes place make sure who is to be at the meeting. My friend was outnumbered at her mediation and it was a shock to her.

I'd hoped it had all died down, they sound unhinged

162 responses and no diagram? This place is going downhill.

I also can't tell whether we're talking about entitled posh people passively aggressively maneuvering range rovers about, or working class men in vests trading blows on the cobbles, which is vital for context.

The Daily Mail will never pick this up unless you include house prices and partial postcodes.

Op I remember your previous thread too - they sound horrendous. Hopefully as outlandish as it sounds, your DHs theory will actually be correct & it'll all stop as soon as the building work is complete.

Otherwise please park on the road - take the stress away from yourself as much as possible. Leave your DH to deal with it.

Sorry OP...why don't they like you reversing?

We're were in a similar parking war situation with our neighbours. Though none of us have an official parking space outside our houses (all in a terrace), they (with their 5 grown up children, all living at home and their three cars), would employ an elaborate system to block the spaces outside many houses. At this point I had three children under the age of 5, so it seemed especially mean.

We were particularly upset as we'd got on so well with our previous neighbours. Our new neighbours used to wind us up so much, and we got rather obsessed about it. However, we learned somehow to let it go and managed to stop obsessing about these people. And thankfully they've also stopped their petty block parking manoevers too...either that or I just don't notice any more.

From my what I'v learned going to law with these sorts of people gets you nowhere, if you don't have that good a car and can afford to suck some retalation, pour paint stripper over their car!

Hi OP, I've lurked on this and your previous thread. I just wanted to send some love. To you and the other posters who are having such an awful time with neighbours. Good luck.

We had a similar situation as Georgiegirl but with accompanied abuse, vandalism of our cars and washing plus plenty of low level anti social behaviour. We also involved the police on a number of occasions, which would stop them for a while but then it would start again.

It coincided with a bad time in my personal life and I became obsessed with the parking situation and I wouldn't move my car. Eventually, I attended a course about stress management and that helped me to manage my negative thoughts. I started to force myself to go out at the weekend and move the car. We also got CCTV, which helped our case with the police.

I know it's all consuming but ignore, ignore, ignore and have a little chuckle to yourself that their lives are so pathetic they have nothing better to do than play musical cars.

What would be involved in getting an ASBO issued? If possible,it would then be out of your hands but they would have to comply?

OP, you can't change other people, but you CAN change yourself.

These people are low-lifes. And they're CLEARLY spending way, way, way too much time obsessing over upsetting you.

It's been said upthread, but if you can NOT be upset by it, but (genuinely) indifferent then they. can. not. win. If they can't win they lose. If they lose you win.

So a cheery "hello" as they combust moving their cars around to annoy you, etc. Followed up with a "lovely weather we're having"
As has been said, finding it funny.
Bright and breezy is your friend. (when they're manoeuvring their cars, give advice "back a bit, left a bit, right a bit. STOP!!!!)

You can't reason with crazy, so don't try.
Marvel at the mental energy they put into trying to upset you (pointlessly). Be amused by it.

Hang onto the fact that their lives are worse than yours. Hold your head up and behave with dignity and politeness.

Don't let them beat you.

OP, really feel for you. Have experienced similar over the best part of a decade. Haven't you said you will be able to leave in 2 years? That will be gone on a flash. Forget the legal action, and the police. Resources for police are so stretched. Look at the injustices in this country relating to major crimes - it's no wonder they don't want to deal with NDNs being arses (I mean them, not you!!! Also, I am not saying it is right that the police won't do much.)

Your approach to rise above it/ignore will do you more good in long run.do whatever you can to minimise their impact on you. If it means parking elsewhere, do so. Be inscrutable. Wear sunglasses and a nonchalant look. They get a kick out of winding you up. Consider looking into covenants to move hedges etc, but better to use your time positively for you. Take up a form of relaxation so you can be uber-chilled in their presence. Use the time you would've spent being upset and recovering from an encounter to do something that is of positive benefit to you. (phone an old friend, but don't mention twats, watch some comedy, do some work on your degree). Give your energy battery a positive boost. Don't let them drain it. Also, noise cancelling headphones. Even if you don't listen to music you can pretend you didn't hear any abuse. Keep filming and recording sound. Make it covert. DO phone 999 if you are ever threatened or intimidated.

If you make your grievances formal, whether by the council, or whatever then you may affect your ability to sell. So far you probably don't have to declare it. I don't know where you stand with mediation though.

Good luck . Here's to everyone having to deal with shitty neighbours.

I feel so sorry for you, in fact anyone who is going through neighbour problems. Unless you are or have experienced it you can not appreciate just how awful it is. There is little you can do except cross your fingers and wait for it to go away. Every action you take will have a reciprocal one taken against you that will just escalate to the point that you think you are going mad and will find you red eyed from crying constantly. I've been there, done that, got the bloody t shirt! Rightly or wrongly, in a country where we believe in human rights, there are none for law abiding neighbours, in fact anything you do will leave you with a house that's devalued with every legal action you take.
For years the house next door to ours was rented and still is. Fortunately we have lovely neighbours now. We had a working prostitute in there for 5years who would come home at 3am and play very loud music, she had a cannabis farm in there and, towards the end, would often leave her 2 dogs for 3-5 days at a time, howling and barking. She would pop in for less than 2 minutes to feed them by throwing food through the door before disappearing again. I had a husband with bowel cancer attached to a pump at the time and 2 young foster children. Nobody could do anything for me. The level of despair was such that I considered murder. The app The landlord's response was 'you will never be on each other's Christmas card list why don't you just let her get on with her life and you get on with yours!' He told me he would only talk to me through his solicitor. When the benefits rules changed and she stopped paying rent he evicted her and our lives changed for the better. The landlord had a house full of, not only, dog excrement but also human excrement in the corner of one of the bedrooms. If the landlord sees us he darts off out of our way now.
So my advice is hang in there, stay out of the way, do lots of mini holidays with the money you'd spend on solicitors, cross your fingers and wait for it to go away because you will make yourself ill and it will cost a fortune trying to improve things when you are only banging your head against a brick wall. Oh, and don't expect help from those in authority because no one's interested enough to believe you. No point talking to other neighbours either, they are too frightened to support you. But do keep a diary, log everything. Maybe that's a bit cynical but it works better than trying to fight it.
Good luck, you have my support, understanding and sympathy.

Oh OP, I really feel for you. I remember your previous post too.

I agree with others that going down the legal route will probably cause a lot more stress.

I also agree with parking in the steeet and removing yourself from the drama. I can't park at my house and always have to walk a good couple of hundred metres, but you get used to it in no time. Imo your emotional health is more important than whether the bullies have 'won' or not.

If I were you I would write a list of things to tell myself, and it would look like this:

I'm a strong person
This will be over in two years
They want me to rise to the bait and I'm not going to
They are acting like children and making themselves look ridiculous
There won't be many things in life that are more unpleasant than this situation
I've got the support of hundreds on MNers

I've been in the situation where someone's behaviour was so horrible I started to get panic attacks when I was in the vicinity (hopefully it won't get that bad!), so I totally get it. What really helped me was a month out of the situation to get my head clear. Is there any way you could get away for a bit...a static caravan or house-sitting or something?! Are you going away over summer?

All the best, thinking of you

I don't really understand the layout because there's no diagram but could you have your driveway redone so that it obviously differs from both of your neighbours? For example we can't have a fence up on our front (terraced houses) and although we don't share the driveway it can look to visitors that we do, so we had ours block paved and next door kept the gravel.
???

Op I'm really sorry they are still harassing you. Good that the mediator witnessed their shitty attitude.
If they continue to escalate (e.g calling you wankers etc) I would go back to the police and tell them you have the independent witness (mediator) and want them to act to stop this. The police are supposed to protect you. And you have evidence it is happening.
for all the stress