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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask your advice on wether it's worth taking my Neighbours from hell to court?

658 replies

Totallyattheendofmyrope · 21/06/2017 21:04

I've had threads on here about my neighbours from hell.
We've been threatened, sworn at harassed and our visitors harassed.
We have involved the police who initially wanted to issue a harassment order against said neighbours but were overruled by their superior officer who said " it never ends well in neighbour disputes" Confused
The actual abuse has reduced significantly though we still endure low level harassment.
I'm keeping notes etc as recommended by the police.
I've pushed for mediation and have met with the mediator however neighbours are stalling and I doubt very much they will attend.
Currently the favourite form of harassment is to park their vehicles to make it quite difficult for me to park. I can get in and I can get out but I do dread weekends and I dread coming home as I'm always so anxious about what they will have done and will I be able to get in ok etc.
I have checked my deeds and they are blocking my "easement ' and it states in the deeds that no one is allowed to do anything to hinder another's ingress and egress.
Currently the neighbours are freely enjoying and utilising the easement I honour and provide them with on my land.
So- Aibu to consider starting legal proceedings or am I just feeding into their crazy?
What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 01/09/2017 19:38

It appears our neighbours did not know about the shared access and the solicitor letter did make an impact. The solicitor letter has impacted our neighbours and they stipulated that they wanted us all to get along together and that that they would park more appropriately Noe that they know the necessary information.
Our neighbours also stated that they planned to moved on the next year.
They are trying to plaiy the victims etc but my dh and I remained conciliatory and strong together.
I feel very proud of both myself and my dh that we mangaged the situation and didn't allow them to muddy the situation.
We done well.

They can move or they can be nice.

Their choice!

Star
OP posts:
RandomMess · 01/09/2017 19:43

They're going to have fun trying to move and having to declare a neighbour dispute!

What thick bullies they are.

fuzzyfozzy · 01/09/2017 19:47

Fantastic. Well done!

Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 01/09/2017 19:48

My Hollywood moment.

The Ndn male after a period ofof conciliatory language got out a list of behaviours he would expect of us.
I.e.-

I.e.

You Will stay out of my wat
I do not not like you - I will never like you etc

I interjected and said-

How dare you speak to me in that tone
I have been conciliatory towards you
I will not be addressed negatively by you, control yourself and behave appropriately.

It went on for a while but was entirely appropriate and received a shocked audience.

Basically his prepared speech fell in the water and I silenced his misogynistic rant.

M

OP posts:
kali110 · 01/09/2017 20:02

Good onyou, how dare he speak to you like that Angry
He thought you would just back down.
Would love to have seen his face when he realised he was wrong!
Shows what a coward he was that he had to leave the room!
Hope they do leave.

ScissorBow · 01/09/2017 20:13

Good on you Flowers Wine

TheMShip · 01/09/2017 20:33

How could they not know about the shared access? Thick as two short planks. To think, a solicitor's letter specifying what they should have already bloody well known could have solved this months ago...

annielouise · 01/09/2017 20:40

Yes, thick as two short planks. Yet, he's in a professional job? Really?

I think if it cranks up again I would be in touch with his work.

annielouise · 01/09/2017 20:43

I must say after reading this thread and the one where the neighbour has parked his car in another neighbour's front garden and kicked off when she asked him to move it, I think the police approach of softly, softly in both cases is crap. It's exactly like how schools handle bullying now - i.e. no perpetrator and victim, no matter the evidence, so no one gets told off, it's all let's sit in a circle and discuss it, or go to mediation in the adults' case. It's shite. There's no deterrent. The police just want to keep everyone happy it seems.

LuluJakey1 · 01/09/2017 21:21

Actually it is exactly what the police do when schools and parents report bullying. They are loath to take any action, they prevaricate, sit on the fence, promise things that don't happen, don't talk to each other and days and weeks pass with no actions because people are off duty, they call round and no one was in - because it is 2pm and the teenagers are at school and their parents work, as we have said to the police.

notapizzaeater · 01/09/2017 22:08

Brilliant, good for you

IamNotDarling · 01/09/2017 22:59

Well done! Fingers crossed for your future peaceful enjoyment of your property and that your DD doesn't have to endure this again in the future.

YouDancin · 01/09/2017 23:36

Oh Totally that's GREAT news. Well done you and DH for remaining calm and getting the right tone in the meeting.
And FAB at your Holywood Moment. Arsehole thinking he could start bullying you in the meeting. So glad you batted him down straight away.

I too believe they are utter liars about not understanding and are playing the game pretending so they can avoid losing face when they've seen the solicitor letter. Probably wet themselves when they realised exactly how much they were in the wrong.

I seriously hope they now back off and let you enjoy your home.

Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 02/09/2017 05:07

My last messages didn't make much sense as I was drunkBlush

I'll fill you all in properly now that I'm awake with the drunk to much last night sleep!

All of this comes down to the twats having no idea of the common access.
Basically their defense was stupidity.

The male showboated often and tried to act important at every opportunity. He flounced and the sergeant followed him, after a short period where I can only imagine she bounced him on his knee... they returned. He proceeded to attempt a big reveal... it was shit then he said he would park better and made a big show of "being the only one to bring anything to the table"..

OP posts:
Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 02/09/2017 05:12

This is the point where he tried to read out a list of expectations for my dh and I which were thinly veiled insults really... so I interjected with what dh called my "Hollywood moment"Blush
He didn't get past number 2Grin

When he was out the room his wife was a different person. There is no doubt in my mind that she has been behind all of the issues. I think she's lied to her entire family and concocted stories for attention.
She tried to make out that she has a special relationship with our shared neighbour and that they have lived here in harmony for 5 years until we arrived. She also accused me of calling our shared neighbor a bitch Sad of course that never happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 02/09/2017 05:16

Basically they went into mediation with a very well thought out and practiced idea of how it was going to go.

It was like going up against laurel and hardy!!

They said as they were leaving that they would be leaving in 1 year and that the neighborhood "isn't for us anymore " as they looked down their nose at us.

GrinGrin

OP posts:
Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 02/09/2017 05:22

I have visions of the dh looking in the mirror and saying " you're a tiger ..grrrr"!!!!

They were appealing to the sergeant regularly and saying things like "they're showing their true colors now ..see ..see"! Think of a toddler jumping up and down and you get the picture.

As they were leaving I said I would stay behind for a couple of minutes until they left.

When the sergeant came back from showing them out I informed her that I had made an application for all data held about me and that I would be triggering a review.
I also told her that I had called the professional standards and requested the police policy on dealing with harassment complaints, Pins and safeguarding of children. I informed her that once I received this info I would be compiling complaints to file against her.

OP posts:
pisacake · 02/09/2017 05:58

Was there never an opportunity previously to explain the easement, with title deeds from Land Registry, etc?

youarenotkiddingme · 02/09/2017 06:49

It's exactly like a school bully situation.

As soon as hard facts stop their verbal attack in its tracks they start playing the victim.

As if not knowing the information explains and excuses their horrific behaviour and abuse.

Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 02/09/2017 06:55

Never an opportunity unfortunately.
I explained it to the police-they tried to explain it to the neighbours they just wouldn't accept it.

Maybe they were wanting out of the situation they created and the solicitors letter enabled them to do it iyswim ?
Now they are claiming they never knew and now they do things are different.

I think mostly it's control with them. They tried to control us when we moved in they tried to control us in mediation.

They truly are classic bullies. To the letter.

OP posts:
donajimena · 02/09/2017 07:07

Its funny you mention control. My bullying NDNs (I have since moved) used to pick on my or my guests parking. Never the other neighbours. I don't know whether they thought I was lower class because I was the only renter and a lone parent but making my life a misery was their hobby.
Fortunately the police were much better to me and saw right through them. Also because they refused mediation and I actively requested it the policeman dealing with the case came down on my side.
They had no hobbies or friends. I was their hobby.
I hope all goes well now

WillowKnicks · 02/09/2017 07:13

Really pleased that it went so well & hope you feel empowered that you got some control back.

What did they say about throwing water over your dd?

Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 02/09/2017 07:19

Our neighbors don't have friends or hobbies either. In the year we've lived here I have never seen one person visit apart from her parents.

I think they are sensitive about this as during mediation she repeatedly stated how "we are so busy we have soooo many friends".

We didn't discuss the throwingbof the water although I brought it up and pointed out that my dd was 13- he then alluded to the fact that he had done things he shouldn't have as had weAngry

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 02/09/2017 07:22

In wouldn't go through courts, it's pointless and costs thousands, if it's on your land can you by put a barrier of some sort?

crabb · 02/09/2017 07:42

Totally, have been cheering you on silently in lurkdom all the way through. How impressive you were in mediation - I would have turned to water. However, I wonder if now they've been humiliated, they will want to have their revenge in some way? I sincerely hope not for your sake.