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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask your advice on wether it's worth taking my Neighbours from hell to court?

658 replies

Totallyattheendofmyrope · 21/06/2017 21:04

I've had threads on here about my neighbours from hell.
We've been threatened, sworn at harassed and our visitors harassed.
We have involved the police who initially wanted to issue a harassment order against said neighbours but were overruled by their superior officer who said " it never ends well in neighbour disputes" Confused
The actual abuse has reduced significantly though we still endure low level harassment.
I'm keeping notes etc as recommended by the police.
I've pushed for mediation and have met with the mediator however neighbours are stalling and I doubt very much they will attend.
Currently the favourite form of harassment is to park their vehicles to make it quite difficult for me to park. I can get in and I can get out but I do dread weekends and I dread coming home as I'm always so anxious about what they will have done and will I be able to get in ok etc.
I have checked my deeds and they are blocking my "easement ' and it states in the deeds that no one is allowed to do anything to hinder another's ingress and egress.
Currently the neighbours are freely enjoying and utilising the easement I honour and provide them with on my land.
So- Aibu to consider starting legal proceedings or am I just feeding into their crazy?
What would you do?

OP posts:
Rodhullstvaerial · 17/08/2017 20:06

Evidence of what though totally?

Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 17/08/2017 20:12

Well, the ndn admitted blocking our easement deliberately- that's harassment
They've also harassed the mediator verbally
They have harassed my visitors forcing them off our driveway- we have witnesses for that
They place items out on the drive such as bins and other discretionary items I have photos of that
They have nothing to support their claims
BUT I understand what you are saying...it's exactly what the police are saying
They've created reasonable doubt

With what's going on in the world really.. with already overstretched resources ????

But it doesn't help me- we are the victims of a harassment campaign Sad

OP posts:
Gran22 · 17/08/2017 20:18

Sometimes it's six of one and half a doz of the other. Sometimes its one household who create an issue, but manage to make it appear as if they are retaliating not instigating. Very frustrating to be the victim in these sorts of cases without real proof of harrassment. Low key, pleasant and positive in mediation might take the wind out of ndn's sails and get authority on side, especially with deeds showing access rights.

Rodhullstvaerial · 17/08/2017 20:29

Well, the ndn admitted blocking our easement deliberately- that's harassment
But to be honest it's not. It would never pass the "reasonable person test"

They've also harassed the mediator verbally Have they done this on more than one occasion? If not it wouldn't be harassment. Did she report it?

They place items out on the drive such as bins and other discretionary items I have photos of that Not an offence

They have nothing to support their claims
BUT I understand what you are saying.it's exactly what the police are saying.They've created reasonable doubt
it's not about reasonable doubt. It's about the actual actions not being anywhere near enough to proceed with a charge.

I promise I sympathise with you. It must be awful. I'm not trying to make you feel worse I'm just explaining it how it looks from a police perspective

laureywilliams · 17/08/2017 20:57

From what I can gather from the OP the police didn't question the neighbour or the daughters friends about the hosing. So no they wont have any evidence. They initially made positive noises about investigating this (correct me if I'm wrong on any of this OP) then did nothing. Inferred it was because someone was on holiday. Then off sick. From my perspective it seems like the police couldn't give a fuck.

The police have repeatedly made promises to the OP then failed to meet them. Not serving the PIN. Not interviewing the girls. Not phoning back. Maybe it could have been nipped in the bud?

It sounds like if the police had repeated specific complaints from visitors, they could have proceeded, from what Rod is saying, with harassment. Have they ever advised you of this totally?

mistlethrush · 17/08/2017 21:10

Surely blocking a ROW over which other people have right of passage is some sort of issue - and if continued on purpose, harrasment?

Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 17/08/2017 21:20

They could have proceeded Lauren but they just haven't been to motivated, for several reasons.

I've never really been interested in escalating and always done the opposite. This has taken up far to much of everyone's time and energy and is completely avoidable.
Before I went to the solicitor today i typed up the chronology of events and quite frankly it was dire.
Embarrassing to say the least. However this is the shit storm I've found myself in and I have to swim through it.

I do understand the reluctance of authorities to get involved and the inability to go much about it.

As an unwillingly participant of the proceedings it is much much worse I assure you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 17/08/2017 21:21

Mistle

Yes it is- the solicitor confirmed it tiday

OP posts:
CarpeVitam · 18/08/2017 11:43

Poor you Totally, I can't believe this is still ongoing! I so hope it is resolved soon Flowers

shallichangemyname · 18/08/2017 18:48

Sorry to hear I ended up being right about the counter-PIN. I'm so gutted for you.

A complaint will I think be dealt with by the independent police complaints commission (can't remember if that is what it's called). If you research it (which I did in a professional context) you won't find a single instance of a PIN complaint being upheld. So whilst you could do it I'm not sure if it would get you anywhere. I take on board Rod's comments pointing out the other perspective and agree with what (s)he says, to an extent. But I disagree there are no child protection issues because your DD was targeted and there was an assault (albeit low level). "Child protection" is one of those buzzwords/phrases that often gets action taken.

The whole PIN thing stinks. I'm just not sure what you can realistically do about it.

Sorry not to be more constructive. If I were in your shoes I honestly don't know what I'd do.

Rodhullstvaerial · 18/08/2017 20:32

A complaint will I think be dealt with by the independent police complaints commission

Not for this level of complaint it won't. It'll go to PSD (professional standards department)

But I disagree there are no child protection issues because your DD was targeted and there was an assault (albeit low level). "Child protection" is one of those buzzwords/phrases that often gets action taken
That really doesn't make it a child protection issue.

Buttercunt · 20/08/2017 23:07

How are things OP?

ScissorBow · 24/08/2017 21:52

Have you had any more information from your solicitor?

Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 28/08/2017 08:50

Sorry for the delay folks, I was taking a break and then was logged out and couldn't get back inBlush

I have heard from the solicitors, it is good news. Our neighbours are breaking the covenants and whilst we can still get in and out- the solicitor thinks we will win if it needs to go to court as they have openly admitted they do it deliberately.
They have no defence that would be credible basically and the fact that they use our property daily had her a bit Shock that they think this is ok.

It has been deliriously quiet and peaceful here. It has been so nice for us to enjoy our home. We spend the last few weeks building relationships with our other neighbours and hosting bbqs etc and we have been really enjoying ourselves.
However I know it's short lived. I've been here before it usually comes in waves and when an incident happens they wind back but they soon start up again.

The sergeant was shocked when she delivered the pin to us that the grandfather had been to our neighbours home,
(apparently the deal she made with him was that she wouldn't give him a pin but he had to stay away until mediation was complete)
Of course he was down here immediately- but she must have told him as he's not been back since. This has contributed greatly to the peace as I believe he is an instigater.

Ive contacted the first mediator to request a chronology of events for court as neighbour has claimed that she wouldn't attend the last mediation as she was only offered shuttle. This is untrue, she was offered everything possible.
I have to prove in court that we've exhausted options.

We've applied for all data on us from the police , we did some research and it appears this is the best way to trigger a review.

Mediation is scheduled for Friday - I believe they will attend as they don't really have a choice at this point.
I don't believe it will be successful and I don't relish sitting down in front of these people.

I expect that they will lie and bitch their way through the meeting and there isn't really anything we can do about it.

OP posts:
kali110 · 28/08/2017 10:55

Good on you op

youhaveafacefortheradio · 28/08/2017 19:32

Glad you're getting some peace for the moment. I hope Friday goes well for you but I fear they actually believe their own lies.
Keep us posted please

Etymology23 · 28/08/2017 20:10

Christ what an awful situation. I desperately hope it gets better.

Re the people saying it's not an offence - if a person who wasn't your neighbour: threatened your husband, hosed down your child, called you a fucking twat, came and stood outside your house when you came and left, parked in such a way that you couldn't easily get onto your own drive, cut you up and repeatedly called the police about you, then they would be a stalker. Harassment and assault are illegal. The police have chosen not to peruse matters further.

Once someone crashed into my car and then drove off. I was in the car with an off duty police man. We got reg, make, model and colour and reported it - the police tried not to do anything. It was only when said policeman pushed again and again for it to be prosecuted that they charged the person involved. This was a cut and dry case: twowitnessses inc police witness, reported in appropriate time, colour make and model matching reg. The police are over worked - if they can avoid further investigation they often will.

Original poster
Totallyattheendofmyrope · 31/08/2017 09:01

Thanks everyone Flowers for your ongoing support and sharing your stories, it is hugely beneficial for me.

The sergeant has been in touch about mediation, she said the neighbours had advised what they want on the agenda.
They don't want to talk about the past they just want to "discuss how we can move forward and live peacefully as neighbours in the future".
Of course they don't want to talk about the pastGrin

The problem is the grandad was sneering at my dd just last week- last night the mother drove her car up to the front of my bonnet again. Over the weekend they were talking about us loudly in a disparaging tone with someone who was collecting their dd. It's not really the behaviour of conciliatory people is it?
I suspect they'll revert to normal behaviours as soon as mediation is over.

One piece of good news is that I passed on the letter from our solicitor to the police and asked them to pass it on to our neighbours prior to mediation. They have been parked in a more appropriate manner since.Star

Without a doubt though they are escalating the bullying behaviour as their stress levels rise prior to mediation.
Just one more day 🤞

I don't care how much of a liar you are, surely it must be difficult for anyone to sit in front of people they have harassed and lied about?

OP posts:
NerosFiddle · 31/08/2017 09:42

I have no advice but just wanted to say best of luck for tomorrow.

mistlethrush · 31/08/2017 10:42

Best of luck for tomorrow!

Toadinthehole · 31/08/2017 11:06

Good luck!

Redsippycup · 31/08/2017 16:21

Good luck -i hope they make complete idiots of themselves Flowers

Tinkie25 · 31/08/2017 17:35

Sorry you've gone through this. Good luck for tomorrow.

RandomMess · 31/08/2017 17:48

I really hope for a good outcome both tomorrow and moving forward.

They are nasty bullying pricks.

LavenderDoll · 31/08/2017 17:54

Good luck OP