to not be able to get over DH'S fussy eating?

[wowl]

I'm prepared to be told I am, but I'm just at the point of being beyond frustrated and into very angry. I'm probably being ridiculous so this is a bit lighthearted but I am frustrated.

I don't remember him being this bad when we got together. I really don't. I'm an adventurous person but not even that adventurous an eater, the food I like is perfectly normal. I used to bend to what he liked and cook things he'd eat (SAHM of a toddler) but now we live with another family member who also likes what I like so the fact he won't eat it is really being rubbed in my face now.

Meals he will eat:

• beef burgers with chips (picks the salad out if at a restaurant)
• margarita pizza
• chicken nuggets or breaded chicken breast and chips
• toad in the hole
• sausages in a baguette or with mash and peas
• fish and chips
• tikka masala
• lasagna if pushed
• cheese sandwiches

...that's pretty much it. Made non-spicy fajitas tonight and he's picked over one for 45 minutes

I just feel like I'm living with 2 children instead of one, and I find it a massive turn off. It's driving me mad at the moment, so AIBU to be really annoyed by this? He says he "tries new things" but that means taking one bite and making faces. I can't take it anymore!

It's annoying as anything. My OH won't eat anything baked that is savoury. He'll also go out his way to pick sweet corn out of salad. He doesnt really like mince or lamb, plain chicken or reheated food. Won't really touch cod or mackerel. Oh how I miss minted lamb chops! Can't stand plain chocolate or chocolate cake. He also doesn't like certain types of pasta like shells over fusilli. From what he says its more a texture issue. He never had liked spicy food, good job we got an all inclusive hotel whilst in Mexico! I feel like I don't get what I want to eat because I try and buy what he likes to save money rather than buy lots of different things for us both and waste money. Pretty much what he dislikes I enjoy :( I just hope my 7 month old doesn't become that bad

I can't see where OP has said he thinks his tastes should dictate what the rest of the family eat.

She said earlier that their budget doesn't really allow for the creation of separate menus. Even if they can find a way to afford it, then she may have to deal with her OH being resentful about having to make his own meals, and also accept that they may no longer eat as a family.

This is not a matter of not liking a handful of vegetables, which is something that any reasonable person would be fine accommodating. It's an ultra-limited, unhealthy diet that is causing problems within the family, may restrict where they can eat, costs more, and breaks up family mealtimes, which is an activity that is very important to a lot of people.

You obviously have severe food fussiness yourself and don't seem to want to acknowledge in any way that it can be deeply frustrating and difficult for other people to deal with.

She said earlier that their budget doesn't really allow for the creation of separate menus

Well it does because they are doing it! He hasn't suddenly started being fussy. He has always been like this. They have always afforded it.

she may have to deal with her OH being resentful about having to make his own meals

As opposed to him currently having to deal with her being resentful of him not eating what she wants him to?

You obviously have severe food fussiness yourself

I have severe food issues.

don't seem to want to acknowledge in any way that it can be deeply frustrating and difficult for other people to deal with.

Oh believe me, people (both online and IRL) have not been shy about letting me know how much of baby/toddler/annoying bastard/pain in the arse/inconvenience/target for humiliation I am. It is well ingrained in me. I am under no illusions. I even hate myself at times. Seriously, you have no idea how aware I am of that.

DP and I are both fussy, he loves heavily processed food, anything beige, burgers, pizza, pasta etc and I'm fussy the other way as I can not enjoy pizza and can't get excited about any sandwich -even a burger, don't like chips or pasta or bread too often and if I don't have some fruit or vegetables/sauce with a meal I just feel ill.

I do get annoyed sometimes for minute and I love a moan but don't care that much about I am still going to marry him.....

You can do this on a budget and while eating the foods you love, you just have to get creative and make the most of your freezer. I would recommend getting some freezer bags and bulk buying burgers and buns/nuggets/breaded processed crap and splitting them up to individual portions or getting those bag clips so you've always got stuff to chuck in the oven for him. Also next time you make chicken tikka masala for him make heaps extra and freeze portions, he can have his on its own and you can have yours with a vegetable curry or Dahl. If he'll eat lasagne he should eat spaghetti bolognase? That's an easy one because you can make a regular bolognase for the whole family to enjoy but fry up some garlic chilli mushrooms bacon peppers in a small pan on the side and then just mix it in to your bolognase in your bowl before you add cheese - that's no extra expense or effort really just more dishes.

I keep pizza in the freezer all the time for nights I feel like something I know he'll hateand I don't feel bad about cooking fancy things just for myself as I have the leftovers and my kids will also eat whatever I give them.

BandeauSally

Thank you IamAporcupine

YABU. That's pretty much all I eat too; thankfully my DH doesn't have the same attitude as you.

Well it does because they are doing it! He hasn't suddenly started being fussy. He has always been like this. They have always afforded it.

No, at the moment the OP is catering to what her husband wants to eat (presumably because of the budget issue), and is finding it increasingly restrictive and frustrating.

As opposed to him currently having to deal with her being resentful of him not eating what she wants him to?

She's the one currently making an effort to adapt to him, with little or no apparent effort in return.

Oh believe me, people (both online and IRL) have not been shy about letting me know how much of baby/toddler/annoying bastard/pain in the arse/inconvenience/target for humiliation I am.

It's not about you being a martyr about what a horrible person everyone apparently thinks you are. It's about you being able to acknowledge, at minimum, that their frustrations with your issues have some validity.

That last line should say "your issues - or other people with issues similar to yours -"

Maybe there is a genuine issue with food but there is no excuse for sitting at the table pulling faces!

So. Not. Sexy.

So. Not. Sexy.

Who the fuck wants to be sexy at the dinner table anyway?

This is almost the same list as DS (12) who has sensory issues - except that he'll also eat things like steak, pork chops/ fillets, breaded fish or chicken, new potatoes, mash and some veg (peas, broccoli, sprouts, fresh spinach/lettuce, raw carrots, sweetcorn). He will sometimes try something new, like calamari, but would go to bed hungry rather than taste a mouthful of sea bass and rice or chilli con carne, or anything else not in his repertoire. We've tried to warn him that girls won't like this but he just thinks it's great...

I think a grown adult who is unable for whatever reason ought to seek help. If they won't, why should they burden the public heath system when the chicken nuggets come home to roost?

I hate seafood. All of it. The sight, smell and taste makes me feel sick.

If every evening my dp made me a seafood dish i would also pull a face and turn my nose up at it. Why on earth would you make food i dont like?? Op knows his likes and dislikes- she should stop making him food he doesnt like. Either of them could make something he can eat.

Today i learnt that disliking some foods is childish

What a frustrating thread. Don't blame you one bit for being completely over it, OP.

If every evening my dp made me a seafood dish i would also pull a face and turn my nose up at it. Why on earth would you make food i dont like?? Op knows his likes and dislikes- she should stop making him food he doesnt like. Either of them could make something he can eat.

FGS, being realistic might be a bit helpful!

My partner doesn't eat seafood either, and although it's a bit annoying for me (a seafood lover) to largely have to avoid it for his sake, I am hardly going to try to force him to eat it every evening. Once in a while I will make a seafood dish, and he will have to cater for himself. The rest of the time I will make any of the thousands of other meal possibilities left in the food universe. This is reasonable.

The OP, on the other hand, is faced with a partner who eats EIGHT different meals (unhealthy ones at that). She is faced with the cost and loneliness of having to basically eat entirely separately from her partner unless she wants to cater to his incredibly limited palate.

Why can nobody with food issues even acknowledge that this is a shitty and frustrating situation for her?

BandeauSally

I feel your pain. People will never truly understand the frustration when you yourself are the fussy eater.

As I said in my previous post, I do not choose to be fussy. I like a lot of beige food because it has no taste for me to dislike. However, I also love lots of fruit and veg.

My issue is going to restaurants. The vegetarian option is almost always either mushrooms or goats' cheese. I detest both. I have been known to order off the children's menu.

It's nice to know that my issues with food are seen as being a pain in the arse to everyone else. Is my anxiety that makes meeting new people incredibly stressful for me a pain in the arse too?

The beige food lovers who 'gag' at the thought of most 'normal' food should get themselves onto Huel.... at least then you'll be getting a complete diet.

"Maybe there is a genuine issue with food but there is no excuse for sitting at the table pulling faces! "

And what's the excuse for trying to force him to eat food she knows he doesn't like and then being resentful when he doesn't like it.

As I said in my previous post, I do not choose to be fussy. I like a lot of beige food because it has no taste for me to dislike. However, I also love lots of fruit and veg.

yes but many adult fussy eaters refuse to try to improve their range of foods. They expect everyone else in the family to eat the same beige processed food they're comfortable with, eating out with them is a no-go, having them round for dinner is a minefield. You have to try a new food something like 8 or 10 times before you get used to it and start to like it as an adult, many fussy people aren't prepared to give that a trry and would rather persist with the eye rolling and gagging.

It's about you being able to acknowledge, at minimum, that their frustrations with your issues have some validity.

Such ignorance on this thread.

That would drive me quite mad op... but how is it only now you're finding it annoying? Does it bother him how restricted his diet is, out of interest?

I once had an ex boyfriend who ate:

White bread
Bacon
Chips
Potato waffles

Seriously, that's all he ate. And had an utter hatred of onions and garlic to the point that if he saw them on my plate he would sit there and make over exaggerated vomiting noises like a small child would.
He didn't last long

I think my experiences of being ritually humiliated by him over and over again in restaurants has shaped my zero tolerance policy to bad table manners.

Does a grown adult really need to act like a child pulling silly faces at food?

If every evening my dp made me a seafood dish i would also pull a face and turn my nose up at it

How rude. You wouldn't think instead to get off your arse and make dinner yourself?