to not be able to get over DH'S fussy eating?

[wowl]

I'm prepared to be told I am, but I'm just at the point of being beyond frustrated and into very angry. I'm probably being ridiculous so this is a bit lighthearted but I am frustrated.

I don't remember him being this bad when we got together. I really don't. I'm an adventurous person but not even that adventurous an eater, the food I like is perfectly normal. I used to bend to what he liked and cook things he'd eat (SAHM of a toddler) but now we live with another family member who also likes what I like so the fact he won't eat it is really being rubbed in my face now.

Meals he will eat:

• beef burgers with chips (picks the salad out if at a restaurant)
• margarita pizza
• chicken nuggets or breaded chicken breast and chips
• toad in the hole
• sausages in a baguette or with mash and peas
• fish and chips
• tikka masala
• lasagna if pushed
• cheese sandwiches

...that's pretty much it. Made non-spicy fajitas tonight and he's picked over one for 45 minutes

I just feel like I'm living with 2 children instead of one, and I find it a massive turn off. It's driving me mad at the moment, so AIBU to be really annoyed by this? He says he "tries new things" but that means taking one bite and making faces. I can't take it anymore!

I have a theory regarding 'fussy eating', (adult and child). I think its that people's definition of 'like' is different. For example, are many many foods I don't massively like. I mean I don't really enjoy eating them, but I do,without a second thought. It's just food, it's not that nice but whatever, I'm hungry,and its nutritious. (Then obviously there are some foods I really like eating.)

It was at a stage with my DD that anything other than pasta, sandwiches, pizza,nuggets and fish fingers were the only things she would eat. I finally clicked, and asked her whether she meant that these were her favourite things to eat, the answer was yes.i explained that although other stuff wasn't as nice, and she might not enjoy eating it, most of the time we have to eat things that aren't our favourites, as we need a varied diet. It worked!! No more picky eating!

I've told DP that he can starve for all I care if he becomes fussier than the toddler. Or he's got stomach ache as he hasn't eaten any of the veg that came with the meal.

I cook stuff he'll eat most of the time (he isn't nearly as bad as the OP's DH), but if he's just being difficult he's on his own. Doesn't help he'd eat stir fries and curry every day of the week and that's virtually all DS won't eat.

But yes to a PP's list- no bones, fatty meat or skin on stuff. His parents are just as bad though, worse probably, and never use any spices so it takes time to unlearn this.

you'd tolerate it is what you'd do.

Or rather than the extremes of force-feeding them vs giving in entirely and catering wholly to them, you might keep working to give them foods they enjoy but also expect them to make an effort to try new foods/experiment with different ways to cook/season foods they're reluctant about?

Even more so with a grown adult?

but also expect them to make an effort to try new foods/experiment with different ways to cook/season foods they're reluctant about?

Well, you can expect all you want, that doesn't mean they will ever eat those things. So you would have to tolerate it.

Even more so with a grown adult?

How about leaving a grown adult to decide for themselves what they will have on their dinner plate?

I actually can't imagine being in a relationship with someone who would tell me they expect me to make an effort to try new foods! like i was their child!

I would be worried about bowel problems. Family member like your dh now had Crohns disease. Thats a terrible diet.
I wouldnt care what my dh ate if if some of it was good food but to eat like a fussy child is so annoying.
I love, especially on holidays to try different foid and would find my dh so boring if he had chicken nuggets in lovely french restaurant.
How is he going to teach your dc to have a proper diet if he is such a baby.

How about a grown adult that thinks their fussy, unhealthy and bland range of foods dictate what the rest of the family eats just cooks their own food?

If the poster had said that they only eat those foods because she caters for her OH and everyone else has to eat the same those saying YABU would be up in arms about the bland and vitamin/nutrient deficient diet the whole family were having but at his expense.

I don't think YABU at all - I would find that behaviour entitled, childish and super unattractive. Not only that, but so unhealthy - just making this observation from my own social circle but I've noticed a definite correlation between fussy eating and being overweight (I guess it stands to reason - if you only eat tasteless carbohydrate you'll probably put on weight).

BUT you married him so you clearly didn't find it that unattractive to begin with... I'm not sure what you can do about it now!!

How about a grown adult that thinks their fussy, unhealthy and bland range of foods dictate what the rest of the family eats

I can't see where OP has said he thinks his tastes should dictate what the rest of the family eat.

Snowballs - what are talkative cheeses? 😂

*By fussy, by all means, only eat beige food, whatever, but don't pull faces, make a big show of picking at things, or be rude abd thus spoil everyone else's meal!

His fussiness spoils her meals too, THAT's the problem.

His attitude sucks*

Exactly. I'd just make what you want OP and ignore his stupid faces. Sit next to him, not opposite, so you don't have to look at him.

Nah, adult picky eaters are a pain in the arse.

I actually can't imagine being in a relationship with someone who would tell me they expect me to make an effort to try new foods! shock like i was their child! confused

But extreme fussiness of the type mentioned by the OP is hugely restrictive and not a balanced diet. If you want to live a "normal" life going out for dinner, popping round for a barbecue at friends houses, going on holiday, it makes life a lot easier if you will eat a wide range of foods. How can you expect children to grow up with a healthy attitidue to food and eating when their parent recoils in horror at the idea of a lettuce leaf or mashed potato instead of chips.

The issue is that some fussy eaters get hugely defensive, demand that everyone panders to their fussiness and won't acknowledge that they have a problem that they need help with.

I used to get upset/angry and be in actual tears of frustration at trying to find somewhere that sold mac and cheese or pizzas when we were out.

It may have contributed to our divorce.

I love the fact my now dp is a human dustbin and eats anything.

Eeeehhh, but how how how did you get to the "married" stage & it's only just bothered you now? Where did you have your wedding reception?! Chucky cheese??

Bandeau perhaps they are being treated like a child because they are behaving like one

I think fussy eating arouses such a strong negative reaction in most people because it does have moral connotations, actually - when such a large proportion of the world is starving or struggling, for an adult to have the attitude that he or she will only eat X, Y and Z (X, Y and Z always being a list of heavily processed carb-heavy foods - never fruit and veg for some reason) because his or her precious tastebuds can't cope with anything else is really ungrateful, entitled and narrow-minded.

Also, it may be someone's 'problem', but it's a curable 'problem', and part of being an adult human is developing, growing, and facing and solving your problems. People overcome drug and alcohol addictions and face phobias. Same applies.

It also causes inconvenience and social awkwardness for other people, and can deprive them of eating things they enjoy, and the consequent obesity problems place a strain on the health service.

So I reckon that's why fussy eaters find themselves the object of such ire.

But extreme fussiness of the type mentioned by the OP is hugely restrictive and not a balanced diet.

Again, that doesn't make your partner a child who needs parented. They are an adult who, with all the relevant information, still gets to decide to eat mars bars all day if they like.

If you want to live a "normal" life going out for dinner, popping round for a barbecue at friends houses, going on holiday, it makes life a lot easier if you will eat a wide range of foods.

Yes, who would have thought it! Talk about stating the obvious.

How can you expect children to grow up with a healthy attitidue to food and eating when their parent recoils in horror at the idea of a lettuce leaf or mashed potato instead of chips.

One of their parents. They have two. They also have tastes of their own.

The issue is that some fussy eaters get hugely defensive

I can't imagine why when you look at some of the things they get called (you don't need to look further than this thread)

demand that everyone panders to their fussiness

I can't see that OPs DH has done that.

and won't acknowledge that they have a problem that they need help with.

Well when we they have spent their entire life being labelled as fussy and called a toddler, a spoiled baby, immature. Perhaps they don't actually realise they do have an issue that can be helped, perhaps they have taken on all those things people have called them throughout their lives and maybe it will take some time and being left to their own food devices to work out what their actual problems are and decide if they want to get help. Or perhaps they actually have tried to get help or are getting help or are on the waiting list to get help but haven't had time to take out the ad in the paper to let everyone who thinks it's their business know.

Whatever Sally, back to your chicken nuggets. Pretty obvious who the pickiest eater on this thread is.

You know I have actually posted about my food issues under previous usernames and I received masses of support and help. Clearly none of those people are here this evening.

Hilarious macarena. If only you knew how much I have actually beaten myself up over this for most of my life you'd struggle to find anything funny about it. Or maybe you wouldn't.

My oh is a very fussy eater. It rarely bothers me, most of the food he likes is very quick and easy to prepare and I don't mind making the meals I like just for myself.
I was very fussy growing up and expanded my tastes in my late teens/early 20's. There are still some very mainstream things that I can't stand, I really don't like beef, lamb or pasta. Any sort of fish leaves me gagging. I would be shocked if a partner tried to cure me of my own tastebuds.

Anyway OP, if you do actually want to get over his fussiness (as opposed to wanting him to get over it for you) then either stop cooking for him or accept he is who he is and decide not to care. He'll be fussy whether you're stressed about it or not. Might as well save yourself the stress of the result is the same.

Does your DH recognise or acknowledge his very limited diet? Is it a habit he has just got into and is now emotionally attached to these particular foods? Can you trace these preferences back to a particular time of event in his life - you said he didn't use to be this bad?

I'd be worried about his health as the diet he is focused on doesn't seem to be anything like balanced, and his body must be missing some of the essentials it needs for long term good health.