to not be able to get over DH'S fussy eating?

[wowl]

I'm prepared to be told I am, but I'm just at the point of being beyond frustrated and into very angry. I'm probably being ridiculous so this is a bit lighthearted but I am frustrated.

I don't remember him being this bad when we got together. I really don't. I'm an adventurous person but not even that adventurous an eater, the food I like is perfectly normal. I used to bend to what he liked and cook things he'd eat (SAHM of a toddler) but now we live with another family member who also likes what I like so the fact he won't eat it is really being rubbed in my face now.

Meals he will eat:

• beef burgers with chips (picks the salad out if at a restaurant)
• margarita pizza
• chicken nuggets or breaded chicken breast and chips
• toad in the hole
• sausages in a baguette or with mash and peas
• fish and chips
• tikka masala
• lasagna if pushed
• cheese sandwiches

...that's pretty much it. Made non-spicy fajitas tonight and he's picked over one for 45 minutes

I just feel like I'm living with 2 children instead of one, and I find it a massive turn off. It's driving me mad at the moment, so AIBU to be really annoyed by this? He says he "tries new things" but that means taking one bite and making faces. I can't take it anymore!

So cook what he eats for the whole family

Great idea if you want the whole family to be malnourished.

Was he more adventurous once, or were you just more loved up? On the one hand it would drive me crackers if dh was like this, on the other i do think the time to decide it was a dealbreaker was before marriage. Bit crap to have your spouse suddenly decide something you've always done is now irritating.

Great idea if you want the whole family to be malnourished.

It's one meal of the day. She has the whole rest of the day to feed the rest of the family whatever she likes. She could also be really creative and, umm, add stuff to the other plates but not his. Just an idea.

My ex husband was worse than that. He would eat:

Cheese sandwiches
Toast
Margarita pizza
Macaroni cheese
Garlic bread
Ready salted crisps
Chocolate

That was it. Going out for a meal was impossible. At our wedding we had to have a buffet instead of a sit down meal.

Agree with PP, I can't understand why you married him tbh I would be really turned off by this.

I know you are on a budget but I would just cook what I wanted and leave him to it. I imagine he will start eating outside of this very narrow band rather than cook his own?

OP he sounds like child. Worryingly that diet sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen. He must change his ways. Perhaps if he learned to cook it might provide some enthusiasm. His diet is so unhealthy for an adult. What about trying healthy things children like (sticking with his infant theme). I'm thinking lentil soup, baked potatoes, noodles with a little lean meat and the more palatable vegetables hidden in them?

It's always the same food isn't it? Beige carbs cheese.

It's never broccoli and asparagus!

Does he eat a roast dinner...chicken beef etc?

It's one meal of the day. She has the whole rest of the day to feed the rest of the family whatever she likes. She could also be really creative and, umm, add stuff to the other plates but not his.

If I had to eat the same 7-8 dinners junk-food dinners week in and week out, I'd be getting a divorce after a year. Even if I was allowed to get "creative" and put a salad or veg on the side.

Even if I was allowed to get "creative"

Who said anything about being allowed? She is an adult, she can do whatever she likes. As can he.

One things I used to dread was having kids with him and trying to get them to eat fruit and veg etc when daddy was sitting eating pizza.

Thankfully we didn't have children

Put him on time out 😂
Honestly .... What a childish man....

But when you're able to write a list of what you WILL eat rather than what you WON'T eat, you've got a problem.

Yes, and? What's your point? Some people have problems with food, some people have problems with anxiety, some people have problems with large crowds. People have problems. It isnt a moral issue!

This!!

My husband is a bit like this. He has a restricted diet, although not as bad as yours. It does make things difficult when going out for dinner, mainly to other peoples houses. Restaurants are usually fine. At home he cooks his own food.
I know he has food issues, and I know how difficult it is for him. I used to get annoyed, but I do not think it helped anyone.

I'm a horribly fussy eater. Different list from your dh's, but very limited.

I do all the cooking. I cook a 'normal' meal for the family, and when I won't eat it (about 1 time in 2) I will eat bread and cheese instead.

Of course I would love to be able to eat everything. But I don't like it, and if I try too hard I end up with horrible stomach cramps and feeling ill for the rest of the evening. It's just not worth it.

Fortunately my family are loving and understanding and very grateful for the effort I make to ensure that my dc don't end up like me.

nokidshere I was thinking of that programme while reading this thread.

For quite sound evolutionary reasons toddlers quite often narrow down what they eat at around the same time they become mobile and away from parental control over what they can eat. This can last a few years. You only need to add a couple of early childhood problems with food and it is easy to see how a lifetime of restricted diet could emerge.

OP why don't you cook what you want for you and the other family member and just leave him to do his favourite food in a microwave or oven.

I think people underestimate the relationship we have with food and how complex it can be. It isnt just as simple as "grow up and eat your veg" just the same as it isn't as simple as to tell and overweight person to eat less. Food issues can stem from a time before we were even verbal, add to that the way food refusal was dealt with at the time and you have the makings of a lifelong "fussy" eater who has no idea why they are fussy or how to get round it, no matter how many people tell them to grow up.

I don't see an issue, unless he's demanding you cook certain meals in addition to/instead of what you'd like.

My favourite meal is chicken nuggets and chips. DH has always been a bit about it and wonders how I can be full/satisfied, but it doesn't bother him really.

He isn't marrying me for my love of grub

I will say though, I'll try anything/eat most things but have an extremely basic staple of what I would choose to eat on a regular basis

It is a problem because he allows it to affect his partner and others

By fussy, by all means, only eat beige food, whatever, but don't pull faces, make a big show of picking at things, or be rude abd thus spoil everyone else's meal!

His fussiness spoils her meals too, THAT's the problem.

His attitude sucks

You can try and be a graceful fussy eater

I'm loving all these people who wouldnt tolerate this behaviour for their children. What exactly would you do if your child point blank refused to eat what you made? Would you force them to sit at the table until they did? Would you serve it to them again at breakfast from the fridge? Would you spoon it into their closed lips as they turned their heads away? Would you hold their cheeks so their lips opened so you could force it in while they gagged? Would you fuck! you'd tolerate it is what you'd do.

Realise this is a bit of a ball ache, but…

Could you buy something, like chicken, and pre-cook it plain and have that in the fridge.

Then, spend a day (lol at the thought of having free time!) pre-making sauces etc. to freeze in portions in the freezer.

Then when it comes to dinner, he can have the chicken plain with chips or however he likes it, whereas you can add it to a tasty pre-cooked dish.

This is assuming he'd eat plain chicken breast.

I really feel for you OP - can see how frustrating it would be.

Ugh, no. YANBU. I have to admit to being a bit of a fusspot but I do eat things if someone else has taken the time to make them.

I couldn't be with someone like this, as food is part of the pleasure of life, to me. As PP have said, wandering on holiday, trying new cuisines, that's important to many people. God knows I love a bit of beige but I couldn't be limited to it. There's a whole world out there.

If you've put up with it for years though I do agree it's a bit harsh to have an issue now. Has he really got worse, or is he annoying you in other ways and this is becoming a focal point?

Massive turn off.
I'm a real foodie and can't imagine settling down with someone I couldn't enjoy a nice meal with. Obviously too late for that now, he'd need to either eat the same meal as the rest of the family or sort himself out in this house.