to not be able to get over DH'S fussy eating?

[wowl]

I'm prepared to be told I am, but I'm just at the point of being beyond frustrated and into very angry. I'm probably being ridiculous so this is a bit lighthearted but I am frustrated.

I don't remember him being this bad when we got together. I really don't. I'm an adventurous person but not even that adventurous an eater, the food I like is perfectly normal. I used to bend to what he liked and cook things he'd eat (SAHM of a toddler) but now we live with another family member who also likes what I like so the fact he won't eat it is really being rubbed in my face now.

Meals he will eat:

• beef burgers with chips (picks the salad out if at a restaurant)
• margarita pizza
• chicken nuggets or breaded chicken breast and chips
• toad in the hole
• sausages in a baguette or with mash and peas
• fish and chips
• tikka masala
• lasagna if pushed
• cheese sandwiches

...that's pretty much it. Made non-spicy fajitas tonight and he's picked over one for 45 minutes

I just feel like I'm living with 2 children instead of one, and I find it a massive turn off. It's driving me mad at the moment, so AIBU to be really annoyed by this? He says he "tries new things" but that means taking one bite and making faces. I can't take it anymore!

Yanbu. When I got with dh he refused to eat anything that contained bread and would eat anything cold except cocopops and mccoys crisps. Oh and he also refused to eat pasta which, at the time, was my staple diet. And he won't touch any fruit.
Picnics were impossible. Wouldn't eat burgers. Just meat and 2 veg, 3 times a day. He's a lot better now and will eat toasted bread, and spaghetti but still does not like anything cold.

It's like having another dc isn't it? I've learnt just to leave him too it and if he goes hungry that's his problem not mine. He's a grown man who's perfectly able to feed himself

I woudn't have let it get to the marriage stage - someone that fussy would be binned after the second date when he turned up his nose at "furrin food".

There's nothing less attractive than a grown man eating like a toddler in shades of beige. Pathetic.

"We don't all like the same things, I hate food dislikes being labelled as fussy. But this is MN and you are meant to like everything here."

Everyone is entitled to have dislikes. I like most things but loathe parsnips and nothing will make me try snails, but to have such a limited list of foods that he will eat is, IMO, extremely fussy and childish.

I'm going to make the huge assumption that he is a fully functioning NT adult. He does his own food shopping and preparation. You and other family member carry on as suits you both.

I'm classed as a fussy eater but this list is way fussier than me.

On the flip side, I really can't help it (I take a lot of medication so not sure if it's this) but I can like something one day and then the next the thought of it would make me gag. I used to eat a lot more food.
Maybe your DH is the same?

I know iabu in this though. It annoys the hell out of me

Tell him you aren't cooking for him anymore. Leave him to it.

As a 'fussy' eater, I can assure you that my food dislikes piss me off more than anyone else. I desperately wish I liked more food but I've tried and I really don't. Spicy is just unpleasant. I'm a vegetarian by choice, which doesn't help in restaurants.

My DM gets annoyed and MIL and FIL really hate my eating but they can go to any restaurant and know they can eat something. Trying new restaurants is a massive stress for me.

Luckily, I have an understanding and loving DP who gets that I wouldn't choose to dislike food.

Just leave him too it. It's only food, It's not a big deal. Well it wouldn't be for me.

We don't all like the same things, I hate food dislikes being labelled as fussy. But this is MN and you are meant to like everything here

Rubbish. I'm not keen on lamb, goats cheese and brussels sprouts. But when you're able to write a list of what you WILL eat rather than what you WON'T eat, you've got a problem.

I have a friend who is exactly like this. Exactly the same list of foods too.

This could be my daughter - except she won't even look at the mildest of curries . . .

It drives crazy, as I firmly believe that a life without garlic is a life half-lived.

Don't cook for him. It's a waste of food, money and mental energy. As well as teaching bad habits to your children.

God, that sounds awful.

My OH is a fussy eater, although nowhere near as bad as yours. But even his list of dislikes (no seafood, no fatty meats or meat with bones in, several vegetables he dislikes) has frankly been a pain in the ass to cater to, particularly when cooking for preschoolers as well, who are starting to become fussy themselves.

As I do all the meal-planning and shopping, I finally put my foot down and said that there would be times that I would be making meals that included ingredients he didn't like, as I didn't wish to exclude them from my kids' diets. On those nights, he has to sort himself out (which does not include wasting money on a takeaway).

I'm a bit of a lurker but had to come on here to sympathise. Love my DH but we are so different in this way. I love food and trying new food. He's from a different culture so prefers different tastes, but it's not even that, he's really limited on what he likes from his own culture and his approach to food is as healthy as possible (I'm on board there) but also the same or as close to the small range of tastes he likes. One example is we are still ordering from the same (in my view bog standard and quite greasy) Chinese if we have a takeaway even though we've moved to a different area because he knows and likes it, he always has the same thing as well....whereas I like the chance to try new stuff and new places and was brought up that way.
We compromise etc and I do my adventurous eating with friends when I can but it's something we can't share. Kids are small at the moment but I'm worried about raising a household of fussy eaters a bit!
You have my sympathy...I fell in love with a wonderful man but I didn't realise people were like this about food until a bit further down the line, like your dh mine said he liked lots of different food but then you have to watch him agonisingly trying to swallow a taste he doesn't know/like and it totally puts you off cooking it. I put up with it cos he's good in other ways lol!

I couldn't be doing with this either and I also would have binned him off before the marriage stage, or before the third date to be precise. He only eats bland junk too. Too weird and immature for me. Sorry op.

@ChicRock "I can't imagine doing things I love to do with someone who can only eat beige food, I imagine the rest of his life is as bland as his palate."

Exactly that - I think I'm so bothered by it because it makes me feel that we're fundamentally incompatible

I wish I could just leave him to it but I really don't want the cost of an extra, different adult meal every night, we're on a budget!

I sometimes feel mean as some of you have said but I'm inclined to agree that if it's easier to list what you will eat than won't then you're the one with the problem really. It's affecting how I feel about everything else he does at this point. I have told him how it makes me feel by the way.

I saw a programme recently about a girl with a similar list of likes.

The Dr (presenter of the programme) took dishes to her house, blindfolded the rest of the family, and then asked them to take off their blindfolds and taste the food he had brought. Edible insects, maggots and other revolting looking stuff. No one would try them and they all went Ugh that's vile.

The girl (who was about 17) said that exactly what food looked like to her and how she reacted to it was exactly as they had reacted.

The upshot of it was that when they stopped nagging and cajoling her she gradually started to add new foods to her list.

Make your own food and don't stress about what he's eating.

I'm so lucky, my DH will eat anything. I sometimes serve up something less than appetising but he will still eat it, even if he didn't like it or fancy it. Like tonight I planned on cooking chicken and pepper wraps but found I didn't have any wraps s oit became chicken bolognaise (jar) with tagliatelle pasta. We won't have it again, but we ate it.

It helps that we both like similar food and we look forward to meal times, and we also love looking at menus in restaurants and deciding what to order. I would struggle with someone who didn't share this.

The down side is we are both over weight.

I am fussy, but that list is very limited. It looks like the kids menu in a bad pub.

My tastes have changed, I eat a lot wider range than I used to, just wanted to like a wider range of food. The problem is, it sounds like he doesn't want things to change.

My DH was like this at 19. He wouldn't even eat custard if it was the wrong consistency. Then he had to cook for himself on little money and turned into a human dustbin.

I don't think there is anything he will not eat now. Unfortunately some of the finer points of my cooking pass him by

My ex was like that, it's not just the food, it's the entire mentality that's offputting and frustrating. Unfortunately he's managed to pass the same fussiness on to our kid.

As a lifelong fussy eater I have learned from my mother that you have two options here, you either stop cooking his dinners, or you stop caring that he doesn't eat what you think he should. Both of those options lead to you not being stressed anymore.

Is he very fixed or fussy about other things? Any very in depth hobbies? Unusual hair?

I wish I could just leave him to it but I really don't want the cost of an extra, different adult meal every night, we're on a budget!

So cook what he eats for the whole family.

He sounds like a fussy toddler.

ANd what a crappy example he's setting for your child.

I certainly wouldn't be catering to it. He can cook his own meals.

But when you're able to write a list of what you WILL eat rather than what you WON'T eat, you've got a problem.

Yes, and? What's your point? Some people have problems with food, some people have problems with anxiety, some people have problems with large crowds. People have problems. It isnt a moral issue!