to not be able to get over DH'S fussy eating?

[wowl]

I'm prepared to be told I am, but I'm just at the point of being beyond frustrated and into very angry. I'm probably being ridiculous so this is a bit lighthearted but I am frustrated.

I don't remember him being this bad when we got together. I really don't. I'm an adventurous person but not even that adventurous an eater, the food I like is perfectly normal. I used to bend to what he liked and cook things he'd eat (SAHM of a toddler) but now we live with another family member who also likes what I like so the fact he won't eat it is really being rubbed in my face now.

Meals he will eat:

• beef burgers with chips (picks the salad out if at a restaurant)
• margarita pizza
• chicken nuggets or breaded chicken breast and chips
• toad in the hole
• sausages in a baguette or with mash and peas
• fish and chips
• tikka masala
• lasagna if pushed
• cheese sandwiches

...that's pretty much it. Made non-spicy fajitas tonight and he's picked over one for 45 minutes

I just feel like I'm living with 2 children instead of one, and I find it a massive turn off. It's driving me mad at the moment, so AIBU to be really annoyed by this? He says he "tries new things" but that means taking one bite and making faces. I can't take it anymore!

They're probably as happy about that as you are

The issue with only cooking what he likes is that he'll never come across anything new and think "mmm that looks nice, I'll try that", his list will never grow. At some point he tried everything on his list for the first time, so he is open to new things, although reluctantly. Cook for yourself and give him cheese sandwiches every night for a month, see if he decides to try something new.

I am a 'fussy eater'. I don't and have never eaten fruit and vegetables with the exception of having orange juice, potatoes and tomato things (like pasta sauce). I'm 32 and I don't have scurvy 😂 It's a mostly texture thing for me, anything both crunchy and wet (think apple) or just sort of wet or lumpy (lumpy soup, yoghurt, gah!) makes me actually heave. I hate it, it makes dieting so hard and is embarrassing. Stems from childhood I think, no idea why I got fussy but as a kid I lived on cereal, bread, meat and pasta. I eat pretty much anything now, except fruit and veg and love all sorts of spicy/strongly flavoured foods, fish, even things a lot of not fussy people are funny about (oysters, anyone?). It's weird. I also love eating out. If I'm cooking I just leave out bits I don't like for OH and I make sure DD has a very varied diet and tries new things all the time (14 months) as Im determined she will not grow up eating like me. I don't know how to can help him OP if he, like me genuinely can't get other foods down his throat without heaving/vomiting. If he's just being a bit awkward and could try, then he should - he's missing out on so much lovely food!

How on earth has this turned into a fight?

If you're a fussy eater - fine, crack on, eat what you like but don't turn your nose up and stomp off to bed if your partner doesn't want chips and nuggets again.

If you're not a fussy eater, and you're faced with one at dinner, consider they have issues and aren't just being a pain in the arse.

If you are fussy because

*I have to say, I've become fussy recently and have no issues in restraunts

Most serve chips at least, and usually chicken nuggets too.*

What restaurants do you go to that serve chicken nuggets??

@EastMidsMummy - any restaurant that has a kids menu?

Addicted to junk/processed food. That doesn't make him a fussy eater. Simply a man addicted to rubbish food so thats what he eats. Do you have to cook for him, really? The list of grease that he eats doesn't really need cooking does it...? I'd leave him to it instead of trying to foist other food on him. Mind you I suppose you are the one who will have to deal with possible food related health problems in the far future.

I would say most restaurants don't have a kids menu and most of those that do don't serve chicken nuggets! (Asda cafe isn't a restaurant.)

So stop feeding him.

As I said on the other recent, similar thread. It is certainly a problem, but it doesn't have to be YOUR problem.

If you are on a budget, section out his 'portion' of the money and leave him to it. He is an adult.

There is no way I would be limiting mine, nor my kids' diet to that atrocious pile of crap. Sometimes, sure, but that isn't what we would all be eating all of the time.

And no chance would an adult get a second opportunity to be rude about my cooking.

I've known some fussy eaters who expanded their range over time.

I also have an ex who only ate meat and potatoes and now has serious digestive issues.

It sounds a bit as though OP's partner isn't as much fussy as a a very lazy limited eater. He likes "kid food" and hasn't tried to expand his range at all. He's not gagging on unfamiliar textures, he's refusing to try a huge range of food because he's used to bland plain unchallenging food.

I've watched people pick every single speck of vegetable out of a meal. I feel sorry for them but not enough to ever cook for them again. Although I would cook for someone with a restriction or allergy, to refuse all vegetables is too limited.

Sleepthief84 I can't believe that you don't eat any fruit and vegetables at all. Don't you find your diet boring? Do you take vitamin and mineral supplements? Have you sought any help with your food issues?

You may feel fit and healthy now, but a lifetime of eating the way you do will probably result in problems later on in life.

Iamastonished - nope, none at all except for if for example I make a pasta sauce I will blend veg in with passata and herbs, or I'll make a soup and blend veg in that. I can just about stomach it that way and I try to do that at twice a week. I take a multivitamin every day. I'm not too bad if something like onion cooks away to almost nothing like in a curry but if it's large pieces I'll leave them on my plate. My diet can be a bit boring but I do eat a wide variety of foods other than fruit & veg. Last night I made stir fry (I make my own sauce) OH had a normal stir veg & noodle fry with chicken and I had the sauce, noodles, salmon and prawns. I have been to my GP a few times as an adult a few years ago (mum took me numerous times as a child and was always told I'd grow out of it). He basically said I just had to keep trying until I could do it. I did that, I tried so hard for weeks but i just couldn't get it down. It's clearly psychological not physical because if something's blended or juiced I can eat it but I have no idea how to resolve it.

It's so frustrating and such a turn off. On holiday in the Maldives at the moment and every dinner time is a painful experience of watching my dh turn his nose up or act like he's on a bush tucker trial... I try to ignore it but often wonder what it would be like to have a nice dinner with some one who embraced things a little more! Like many others have said... it's such a big turn off!

DH is a bit like this. Apparently as a kid he went through a phase of only eating marmite sandwiches and cheese and chips. His mum raised her kids on a small range of very bland, unadventurous food and they all ended up being sort of "coaxed" into trying new things by their partners as adults.

He has got more adventurous to once we've been together. I'm making baked salmon, boiled potatos and peas tonight so he's getting himself a ready meal. He's happy to do that or make himself a sandwich if he doesn't like what's on offer, as he doesn't want the kids to end up with only a very small range of foods they'll eat like he has.

I feel the pain.... But think this is bad
Dated someone vegan

Diet consisted of soya, tofu no spicea mixed with pasta cooked in microwave, vegan sausages or burger with jacket potatoes and falafel. Only accepted fruit and vegetables were carrots and bananas. Literally would not eat anything else.

Also scared of plane travel like literally would never get on a plane so never got to travel and try different cuisines.

He is now 32

I note "dated" past tense..

watching my dh turn his nose up or act like he's on a bush tucker trial.

That's actually a very good way to describe what it feels like to be presented with a plate of food you have an issue with. To the person presenting it, it may be a perfectly normal dish but to someone with issues it is like setting them down a plate of kangaroo testicles and rats arsehole.

Not sure what kerala's point is. Lots of people have exes for all sorts of reasons. Are you trying to suggest everyone who is "fussy" will get dumped?

Well I guess I move in very different circles than you because I don't think I've ever been to a restaurant without a kids menu or at least something bland like chicken goujons.

Yes Bandeau. It would be a deal breaker for me.

Tazerface I don't tend to eat in many places with children's menus either. I don't usually eat in chain restaurants or anywhere that sells haute cuisine, but local pubs or the local Indian.

What are you saying yes to? That everyone who is fussy will get dumped? just because you couldn't cope with it? Odd logic.

A relationship with a fussy eater would never have progressed to the point that we were living together. I would be bored of eating the same foods all the time and I wouldn't want to be cooking two meals or having two people cooking two meals at the same time.

Good for you. Now what does that have to do with anyone else?

It is the path of least resistance for most parents.
Sometimes for me it is just easier to dish out beige food.
Obviously if my kid then turns into a constipated fussy eater it won't be any surprise so I insist on a more varied diet. But it is hard.
If it was my DH I just wouldn't make him anything.

Nothing

Can't stand people who get up themselves about food and think it's their place to judge what others eat. A colleague of mine witters on about never eating 'processed' food, then packs hummus down her throat (as if that shite has never been processed) and drinks organic coffee and lacto-free milk (just as nature intended). And claims to be 'not picky'. As Billy Connolly said, get a can of Coke and a cheeseburger down you instead of that organic rubbish, you'll be amazed how much happier you become.