to not be able to get over DH'S fussy eating?

[wowl]

I'm prepared to be told I am, but I'm just at the point of being beyond frustrated and into very angry. I'm probably being ridiculous so this is a bit lighthearted but I am frustrated.

I don't remember him being this bad when we got together. I really don't. I'm an adventurous person but not even that adventurous an eater, the food I like is perfectly normal. I used to bend to what he liked and cook things he'd eat (SAHM of a toddler) but now we live with another family member who also likes what I like so the fact he won't eat it is really being rubbed in my face now.

Meals he will eat:

• beef burgers with chips (picks the salad out if at a restaurant)
• margarita pizza
• chicken nuggets or breaded chicken breast and chips
• toad in the hole
• sausages in a baguette or with mash and peas
• fish and chips
• tikka masala
• lasagna if pushed
• cheese sandwiches

...that's pretty much it. Made non-spicy fajitas tonight and he's picked over one for 45 minutes

I just feel like I'm living with 2 children instead of one, and I find it a massive turn off. It's driving me mad at the moment, so AIBU to be really annoyed by this? He says he "tries new things" but that means taking one bite and making faces. I can't take it anymore!

I only eat chicken nuggets and chips when out at restraunts (if they serve it), because it's my favourite.

I don't bat an eyelid at other people's food choices, not even DDad who puts syrup on eggs.

Yet people love to comment on what I eat

I find it hard to tolerate food fussiness because I've managed to eat loads of foods I'm not keen on out of politeness. I just don't understand how you can find, say, mushrooms so disgusting that you can't eat a dish with them in it - unless you're under 16 years old. After that, being fussy about food is about not compromising. Which is why people find it so irritating.

Another fussy DH here. Been together 30 years, I have just about managed to get him to eat peas! Yeah, RESULT

He doesn't like veg, cheese, anything spicy. He will tolerate bananas and pears, peas, chips, mash. He hates mayo/onions/cucumber which is a pain trying to eat out as most things seem to come covered in it. He wont eat chillie or most curries.

He just loves steak, gammon and pork chops. He would just eat these if I let him

I just don't understand how you can find, say, mushrooms so disgusting that you can't eat a dish with them in it

Lucky you!

I have just about managed to get him to eat peas!

This sounds like you are taking about a child. Why have you assumed the role of managing what another adult should eat?

He would just eat these if I let him

URGH!!

I wonder how some of these posts would be received if they were from men talking about what they let their wives eat.

Fine if they are the ones expected to cook every day for their wives.

This sounds like you are taking about a child.

Yes it does, doesn't it.

it's quite creepy.

Lucky you!

True. Must be awful being so picky.

I just don't understand how you can find, say, mushrooms so disgusting that you can't eat a dish with them in it - unless you're under 16 years old. After that, being fussy about food is about not compromising.

You say you don't understand and then go on to tell every adult with food issues that their issues are not in fact issues and they are just being difficult. Could you be more ignorant and simplistic? I am fed up with being told why I am the way I am and how difficult I make everyone else's life by people who clearly have no idea of the daily battles many people with food issues experience day in day out.

because I do all the cooking and I like to see it all eaten I was brought up to clear my plate.

Must be awful being so picky.

It's not picky though.

I was brought up to clear my plate.

So clear your plate and leave other adults to decide for themselves what they want to put in their bodies.

(Clear your plate is actually a great way to create a bad relationship with food)

My partner is very fussy with food but I love him for who he is and I would never try and change him just like he wouldn't me. Why would you make him eat something he doesn't like, do you? You can't force people to eat what they don't want that's how issues with food are caused. It's not difficult to cook meals that everybody likes. I actually feel sorry for him here.

OP...it sounds like you are married to my ex 😁

He used to pick every onion and mushroom out of bolognese and then it was freezing cold..it used to drive me bonkers.

My lovely OH of 10 years is the total opposite and loves any food. This has rubbed off on my son too. They choose a different fish/seafood from the fishmongers every weekend and cook it together, it gets more obscure every week but I love that my son is getting an adventurous palate when it comes to food.

I did not realise how much it affected eating out and socialising until he was my ex 😁

I do actually feel pity for people who have extreme fussiness. Food can be both a joy and a social occasion. To not be able to just go out for dinner, to go to a friends house for a dinner party, eat out on holiday without serious angst for all involved is a very sad life indeed. Horrible way to chose to live really.

As these people do not have different digestive systems and logically knowng that everything other than junk won't knock them sick, the thought of living your life like that is simply not understandable for most of us. Knowing all your friends keep quiet but secretly think you're either hard work, attention seeking, or a total weirdo must be wearing and impact on your social life.

It's actually quite sad really. It's one of those things that seems insignificant on the face of it, but can have quite a negative impact on your and those around you lives.

This thread has been really useful. Some posters you see on another thread and think they're a bit of a knob but you put it down to them having a bad day. And then you read their posts here and see they're actually just a nasty bastard altogether and not a bit of shame about it.

I find it hard to tolerate food fussiness because I've managed to eat loads of foods I'm not keen on out of politeness. I just don't understand how you can find, say, mushrooms so disgusting that you can't eat a dish with them in it - unless you're under 16 years old. After that, being fussy about food is about not compromising. Which is why people find it so irritating.

I have eaten many things I am not keen on out of politeness. However, I could never drink a glass of plain milk. It's not about compromising, the thought of it (almost) makes me gag.

Funnily enough, I can have white coffee....
but again, not if it is too milky!

This is exactly what at least two PP complained about:
how some fussy eaters can actually eat their dislikes if they do not know they are in their food, or only if they are in small doses (someone mentioned the spag bol beeing too tomate-y).

That's how irrational food issues can be.

Is that what irritates people? That it is irrational?
That fussy eaters are weak because they can't get over it?

Is that what irritates people?

No, what irritates them is that they think we are lying. That we can actually eat everything but just don't want to, so we lie about not being able to. They think we're just making it up to avoid eating our veg.

It's not a choice.

Do you think I choose to have a physical reaction to certain foods? Do you think I choose to be repulsed by certain textures in my mouth? Do you think I enjoy the process of trying to learn to like a new food, only to find that all my progress has come undone because I had a depression relapse?

I am and have been making the choice to try and improve my range of foods but it's a long process. I may never get to a stage where I am considered 'normal' but I am trying.

Shame that's not enough for some people, instead of trying to understand they resort to snarky patronising 'holier than thou' comments instead. The ignorance on this thread is astounding.

Eating one bite is better than just flat out refusing to try something - some people won't eat something despite having never had it out anything like it before (although most people like this I've encountered where children or young adults who clearly grew up on bland food). Your list does seem rather bland - I'm guessing by "cheese sandwiches" you mean mild cheddar and not mature Stilton or mexicana? Maybe his taste buds object to flavour? Can he cope with mustard on his bangers and mash?