to not be able to get over DH'S fussy eating?

[wowl]

I'm prepared to be told I am, but I'm just at the point of being beyond frustrated and into very angry. I'm probably being ridiculous so this is a bit lighthearted but I am frustrated.

I don't remember him being this bad when we got together. I really don't. I'm an adventurous person but not even that adventurous an eater, the food I like is perfectly normal. I used to bend to what he liked and cook things he'd eat (SAHM of a toddler) but now we live with another family member who also likes what I like so the fact he won't eat it is really being rubbed in my face now.

Meals he will eat:

• beef burgers with chips (picks the salad out if at a restaurant)
• margarita pizza
• chicken nuggets or breaded chicken breast and chips
• toad in the hole
• sausages in a baguette or with mash and peas
• fish and chips
• tikka masala
• lasagna if pushed
• cheese sandwiches

...that's pretty much it. Made non-spicy fajitas tonight and he's picked over one for 45 minutes

I just feel like I'm living with 2 children instead of one, and I find it a massive turn off. It's driving me mad at the moment, so AIBU to be really annoyed by this? He says he "tries new things" but that means taking one bite and making faces. I can't take it anymore!

@delete Well, I think it's great that you're trying, even if it's a struggle. It's outright refusal to make any attempt to overcome issues that bugs me.

I would love to know how some of these ignorant posters would be if one of their children had these problems

Oh I can answer that! They would kick off and insist on "winning" every dinnertime battleground and create a child with a lifelong negative association with food who will spend their adulthood trying to unravel the damage done during childhood.

BandeauSally you mentioned something that resonated with me - is it ok if I PM you?

Of course Iam!

I will never understand the reactions of some people on these threads, why as an adult they care so much about what another adult eats.

I don't understand how can adult can dislike the taste of that much food. It can't be that he doesn't like it, more that it's not his favourite and he's being childish

Again, its really not difficult to think that as we are all individuals we all can like/dislike certain things, and not just food either.

I am always surprised at how little manners some food-fussers have

This is my main issue with fussy eaters. In and of itself, I don't care what people eat and don't; I just don't think it's OK for people to sit and make faces/make yuck noises/comment rudely on how something looks or smells 'disgusting' etc. All behaviours I have experienced from fussy adult eaters.

Conversely, I think some 'foodie' people are just as rude. I can't bear eating with people who push things around their plates/criticise them/pull faces at them because 'they're not properly seasoned', 'it's overdone', 'I prefer them with lemon' etc etc.

I have a friend with a chronic condition that means there are a fair few things she can't eat –not doesn't like, can't eat. I accommodate her as much as I can when cooking for her, but on the odd occasion I fall short, she quietly passes over the things she can't eat, or picks them out, or whatever, and says thank you for the rest.

Basic manners. ANY fussing or, when someone has made it for you, ingratitude about food is babyish, rude and unacceptable.

Oh Sapphire a bit off topic but completely agree about the food luvies. The discussions over food drive me crazy. Is it mainly tasty? Yes, then put in your cake hole and shut up!

put in your cake hole and shut up!

A friend of mine had a thankfully now ex-DH like this. She and I once slaved making a beautiful big breakfast for him and a houseful of people, everyone made appreciative noises, he left his sausages at the side of his plate. She asked why, he said they were 'a bit too done'. They weren't fucking carbonised or anything. Don't know how I didn't brain him with the Bloody Mary jug!

I've said this a few times now, but some people are selfish and impolite. Some of those people are fussy eaters. They are two different issues, not intrinsically linked.

When I first met my Dh he wouldn't eat hardly anything. He would eat roast potatoes, sausages, potato waffles, tinned spaghetti and a couple of other bits that I can't even think of now.
Not anymore, I've encouraged him to try loads and he eats basically everything now. I think his mum just gave into him every meal time (he was a very pampered precious only son)
He used to say he just ate to stay alive. He now visibly enjoys food.

Surely eating beige food everyday can't be good for you from a health point of view

I know a friend and her husband who the nearest they came to eating vegetables was a can of tomatoes and an onion in a spag bol. We stayed with them for 2 weeks when we were between houses.

I ended up secretly washing a carrier bag full of fruit and then sitting on the bed quietly munching on peaches, grapes, bananas and Strawberries. Then disposing the evidence in a bin down the road and when we finally moved we were so excited to have a pan of broccoli carrots and peas on the hob.

Both their families didnt do fruit and vegetables. Usually it was meat and some form of potato. There life expectancy was around 62. To both of them this was a good age. They are nearing 60 and neither look a picture of health

In answer to my previous post as a couple they had eaten out a few times. Mainly pizza restaurant and occassionly a carvery which it was only looking back she realised he didn't eat any vegetables just meat and roast potatoes

Most serve chips at least, and usually chicken nuggets too. It's no biggy

Agree that most restaurants of whatever type will sell chips. But as an adult I wouldn't want to go out for a meal to somewhere which sold freezer food.... I would want properly cooked food, with fresh ingredients and not something just whipped out of the freezer.

No, what irritates them is that they think we are lying

Wrong. What irritates me (can't speak for others) is that some picky eaters wear it as a badge of honour. They might accept their pickiness, but also refuse to try to tackle it by exposing themselves to more and more foods. They instead expect everyone else to accommodate their incredibly restricted choices, never comment on it and just accept "that's the way they are". And that's before the types who pull faces at what others are eating.

Macarena, you speak for me! Totally agree about the 'badge of honour'; the picky eaters I've known have absolutely used it for attention.

So it's not people with food issues that irritate you. It's arseholes. These people would be arseholes about their dodgy hips if that was their issue, or their hearing, or their depression, or their back pain. That's their personality, it has nothing to do with food issues, they would do it regardless of what their issues was. So stop talking like it's a food issue problem when it's just an arsehole problem.

Maybe the only fussy people noticed are the annoying, impolite, selfish ones. The majority, who like to not draw attention or make a number out of it, don't. Hence, the skew on threads like these!

But yes. Arseholes come in many shapes and shades!

As people has said, the fussy eaters who make faces or loudly have to talk about what they eat and what they don't like is irritating! Just eat the things that you can eat fgs.

My DH's best friends ex wife was like this. We went to a very posh wedding dinner in a michelin star place in Spain. I had the misfortune of sitting close to her and she was doing my head in. It was a taster menu so lots of little plates and instead of just picking at it and wait for the next dish, she had to loudly exclaim that it looked horrid and she does not eat that whatever it is and pushed the plate into the middle of the table. So embarrassing.

We invited them for dinner ones and the first thing she says before accepting is - You are not cooking fish are you? I hate fish!

So glad they got divorced

No, I know people who are arseholes about food and not about their health problems or other issues.

Further musgins: It often seems to be about being proud of not liking/eating 'healthy' foods and liking 'unhealthy' ones e.g. proudly announcing that they won't touch any green veg, only like certain things if they're fried/drowned in butter, only like fruit in a crumble where there's loads of crumble and a hint of fruit, etc etc.

I don't know why some people think it's funny or impressive to not eat vegetables, or to pile as much cheese/cream etc into a pasta sauce as physically possible. It seems to me like a rather pathetic attempt to seem like a 'rebel' or something.

musings, sorry...!

I don't know why some people think it's funny or impressive to not eat vegetables, or to pile as much cheese/cream etc into a pasta sauce as physically possible.

I don't know either because it's not something I do and don't know anyone who does. Perhaps you could ask them. Again, it sounds like a personality thing rather than a trait tied to food issues.

I mean, I know of people who take pride in how much the vomit after binge drinking. Or how much they can drink. That doesn't mean it's a drinking related trait, because I also know lots of people who drink and don't behave like that. Same with people who take pride in how lax they are as parents. But that doesn't mean all parents are lax parents, right?

I try my best not to spend time with childish fussy eaters, so I'm not about to ask anyone why they behave as they do.