Am I being a terrible snob?

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

SMIL and FIL coming to stay for week soon which is an annual event. They are in all lovely and no trouble apart from the fact they watch every single soap going .

I admit I am not great with guests and I struggle having people in my space for long periods. We are also a large blended family so the house will be full (not relevant).

SMIL is a lovely northern lady who lives in an area where everyone is in and out of each other's houses, everyone knows that each other and it's a small area we live down south in a big area and very much keep to ourselves - we know most of our neighbours and are friendly but that's about it. I hate people turning up "unannounced".

We have no front garden (Victorian semi) just a very narrow path at the front of the house and a low wall dividing it from the pavement.

We do however have a (small) back garden which gets plenty of sun.

SMIL insists on taking a dining room chair and sitting on the front "path" and resting her legs on the wall with the front door wide open saying hello to anyone who walks past.

I know there are bigger things going on right now but AIBU to really hate her doing this as it's seems a bit "common" and prefer her to use the back which is private? I know she's not hurting anyone but I hate having my front door wide open (I will be at work some of the time). I need to chill out don't I?

YABU for for the "common" comment alone

Years ago My best friends mum used to take her ironing board out to the front gate complete with extension cord for the iron.

We lived in a naice estate and my mother used to tut and say she was "lowering the tone of the place"

I thought she was brilliant (and still is!)

I would not allow her to take my furniture outside, no way. What a nutter.

I live in a similar house and opening my front door would create a lovely breeze but I'd rather me roasting than do that.

In the hot weather some of the terraced houses near me have a fabric door covering - well it's for the doorway, it sort of hooks on in some way - so that you can open your front door and have some sort of breeze but still remain private.

I couldn't find any pictures of them though (didn't know what to google). I am in the north - if that's relevant.

They even have little gaps for the letter box

Oh god - I'm Northern and I'd be cringing like mad! Is it worth just letting her know you'd prefer her to sit in the back garden? It's your house and your neighbours...

I used to live in a northern Victorian semi and regularly took a patio chair cushion to my front step of an evening, as the front was west facing and the sunsets were beautiful.

I'd share a pie with my whippet while my flat cap peak stopped the glare of the low evening sun.

Smashin'

I love sitting on the front step (southerner) and DH (northerner) hates it and thinks it's weird. I don't say hi to everyone though. Lots of people smile though. The front of our house gets the late afternoon sun. I let the kids play out and I sit with a cuppa. It's nice.

Lowering the tone of the neighbourhood indeed!

Just make sure she has clean feet and "modesty shorts" on when she flings her pins up on the wall.

Close the front door and give her a spare key. The thing I would hate the most is the front door open like that.

Oh and a naice chair would be great.

You didn't need to mention class, your OP made it clear.

High alert has it spot on.

It's irrelevant your MIL is from the North! It has no bearing on her wanting to sit out at the front of your semi.

Just tell her she looks common and you're bothered what your neighbours will think of you.

When I lived in a terraced house it had a lovely high front step. Just right for sitting on.

What if she encounters another Northerner? Or a Scottish person?! There might be conversation! Even with . . . another person from the South!

My grandad used to sit in the front garden sunbathing on a dining chair, topless, with a can of Stella, wearing a sombrero.
It was the route home after school for me and most of my school friends

I don't really care what they think (bar police turning up regularly etc which they don't) I just find it a bit "public" I guess and am not keen on the door being wide open when it's literally right into the street.

I'm not sure why it bothers you - she's not upsetting anyone.

I've been sat out on my front doorstep this evening - didn't even bother with the chair lol

I'd love that, think there should be more of it and I'm a southerner, West London born & bred. If it was a sunnier climate, I think a campaign would good for more front garden use. Think of all the lonely people who'd benefit from it.

I love your grandad.northen.

tbh i think as a guest I follow my hosts lead/style

My dad sits outside the front as he can't walk any further and he likes to chat to people as they pass. Gives him a great deal of pleasure, hurts no one - and he's born and lived all his life in a very naice little town in the heart of the home counties.

Unclench and let your SMIL enjoy it

"Am I being a terrible snob?" Yes. Obviously. Can't you tell?

It's not even a class thing, to be snobby about. Its a friendly/too old to care about perceptions thing.

"I need to chill out don't I?" Yep.

@Want2beme

What a lovely sentiment. How true.

I'd laugh it off to anyone who mentions it as an oddity of your eccentric SMIL.

We've just acquired a sit out front family in our street.

I don't like it.

It could be worse. My mum has a long running war with my v wealthy neighbours as they committed the crime of not saying hello to her several times. She's southern but always outside my front door smoking and blowing fag smoke back in the communal hall!

You SMIL sounds sweet.

She is always dressed head to toe in leopard print she doesn't have a tabard

It's not a garden - it's the pavement divided from my house with a wall.