Am I being a terrible snob?

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

SMIL and FIL coming to stay for week soon which is an annual event. They are in all lovely and no trouble apart from the fact they watch every single soap going .

I admit I am not great with guests and I struggle having people in my space for long periods. We are also a large blended family so the house will be full (not relevant).

SMIL is a lovely northern lady who lives in an area where everyone is in and out of each other's houses, everyone knows that each other and it's a small area we live down south in a big area and very much keep to ourselves - we know most of our neighbours and are friendly but that's about it. I hate people turning up "unannounced".

We have no front garden (Victorian semi) just a very narrow path at the front of the house and a low wall dividing it from the pavement.

We do however have a (small) back garden which gets plenty of sun.

SMIL insists on taking a dining room chair and sitting on the front "path" and resting her legs on the wall with the front door wide open saying hello to anyone who walks past.

I know there are bigger things going on right now but AIBU to really hate her doing this as it's seems a bit "common" and prefer her to use the back which is private? I know she's not hurting anyone but I hate having my front door wide open (I will be at work some of the time). I need to chill out don't I?

I wouldn't like it myself, but I have stayed in a small town in Spain where houses front straight onto the street and in the evening when it's really hot, people sit on the pavement and watch the telly, which is inside, through the open front door.

I always sat on the front when my kids wanted to play out before they were old enough to play out alone.

No one cared or tutted.

I had a boyfriend also northern but sure that's not relative who used to go out there with his kids to smoke and have really loud conversations - I found that mortifying.

It's not a N v S thing. It's a snob thing

As long as she's not dripped fag ash down the front of her tabard, and cleaned the whippet shit off her clogs who cares?

Set up the camping chairs in advance in a nice spot in the back garden. Do you have any other outdoor furniture?

I must be a snob too then OP. I'm a southerner and I would find it really embarrassing if my relative did this!

I'm a Londoner and I've moved way up North.

I sit out on the front of an evening! Admittedly on my doorstep but I don't have a garden as the houses in this area are back to back. I say hello to everybody who walks past and pet the dogs going for a walk.
Sometimes I even have a glass of wine.
I am trash.

It could be a lot worse, the people on my estate used to take their sofa out, hehe.
Leave her to it, life is short

Yeah we have really nice garden furniture in the back garden.

You sound very uptight..

What does very Northern or very Southern mean?

Have you been to many places in the North OP? Have you lived a very sheltered life?
I think what you're trying to say is the working classes vs the middle classes. Funnily enough, you can get all different types of people living in all parts of the U.K. I believe there are working class people living in the South. There may even be a whippet living there too.

OP I am as southern as it comes but seriously, you need to chill. If it makes SMIL happy let her be, who cares what anyone thinks, we all need to be more tolerant of each other.

The world is too short of happiness right now - I would say hello & a friendly chat would probably be a highlight of my day.

I'm a Southerner/Londoner and lots of my neighbours sit out the front in the nice weather.

Yeah I have been all over the world Hickory and lived all over and I did not say anything about class - no one round here has kids playing out - probably because we are the only road with no speed bumps so are used as a cut through and it's a 20 zone but cars do about 50 up and down here.

I never played out myself either as grew up in the countryside with no neighbours.

If she's properly dressed and not in her nightie smoking a fag on the front step like my goddaughter YABU.
Ok, Yabu but it would annoy me too.

I think the OP thinks being Southern makes her superior to her Northern relatives. She thinks they are a bit common.

Laughing at ferrets, tabards and clogs

am also northern and used to sit in the front garden or on the step to smoke. And if it was sunny we'd stay out.

I think it's a lovely thing to do. Watch the world go by. I think it's quite a new York thing to do.

OP I totally get what you're saying here. I understand. But oh boy this just makes me laugh. This is like a scenario from Keeping Up Appearances.

Oh please let her carry on. It's temporary, harmless. And comedy gold.

I'm Northern by the way. I've seen the type of thing you're worried about recreating!

I see why you might find it a tad embarrassing, but it's also hilarious. Get her a housecoat to wear while she's out there - and a headscarf tied in a knot on the top.

I doubt your neighbours are sniffing behind their net curtains. I expect they rather like her.

I think it's about what's normal in your area, anything that's outside the norm and going to attract attention is very embarrassing if you care what the neighbours think.

'lovely northern lady'

Southerner here, only people who sit out the front are the people in the new build social housing on one estate who are always on their door steps, fag in mouth, beer in hand. I know this makes me sound like a snob, but it is just this one estate that I drive past at least twice a day.

All the other areas housing association, social shared housing or fecking mansions, there is no out front sitting, just a pleasant nodding or good morning.