Am I being a terrible snob?

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

SMIL and FIL coming to stay for week soon which is an annual event. They are in all lovely and no trouble apart from the fact they watch every single soap going .

I admit I am not great with guests and I struggle having people in my space for long periods. We are also a large blended family so the house will be full (not relevant).

SMIL is a lovely northern lady who lives in an area where everyone is in and out of each other's houses, everyone knows that each other and it's a small area we live down south in a big area and very much keep to ourselves - we know most of our neighbours and are friendly but that's about it. I hate people turning up "unannounced".

We have no front garden (Victorian semi) just a very narrow path at the front of the house and a low wall dividing it from the pavement.

We do however have a (small) back garden which gets plenty of sun.

SMIL insists on taking a dining room chair and sitting on the front "path" and resting her legs on the wall with the front door wide open saying hello to anyone who walks past.

I know there are bigger things going on right now but AIBU to really hate her doing this as it's seems a bit "common" and prefer her to use the back which is private? I know she's not hurting anyone but I hate having my front door wide open (I will be at work some of the time). I need to chill out don't I?

[nina2b]

A vair vair "posh area"? You live near it, OP?
What is it about this area you imGine to be "posh"?!

[nina2b]

...imagine...

[Mesmerised]

This thread made me giggle.
We live in Chelsea, London and we had people stay with us who wanted to do this - "to catch the sun". They were from Birkenhead in Merseyside and apparently do this all the time. Ours is a town house with no front garden. They did have to shut the front door though because of the cats. Probably anyone walking by would have thought they had locked themselves out and were trying to not appear desperate. They were also smoking and the DH told my neighbour he knows her from the telly and she looks younger in real life
OP I think you just have to go with it.

[Deux]

I admire people like your MIL who are so at ease.

[WellErrr]

I am northern.

I also have far more class than you, OP, as I wouldn't give a fuck.

So yes, you are a snob - but one of the worst kinds; all fur coat and no knickers, as the saying goes.

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

It's Sandbanks in Dorset.

I do not live there I live nearby in a densely populated area which has a very mixed population and for the county quite high crime.

[TheMysteriousJackelope]

Where I live people sit outside in their front gardens on these type of chairs.

Usually a group of other neighbors joins them, with beer.

I wouldn't like the dining chair being involved as I'd worry about it getting scratched up or damp. Can you move a chair from the back garden to the front.

[greenlavender]

You know you're being a snob, that's why you asked the question & used the word snob. The chair would really bother me most but if I didn't need to have the neighbours in my life I would hate to have them forced down my throat. I live in the SE, but from S Wales. I know the neighbours to nod to, my mother tries to talk to everyone.

[nina2b]

I really would like to hear about the OP's garden furniture and what she considers "posh".

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

I'm from the north. Front step sitting in houses that are terraced or close to the road in good weather is very common. Just let her do it and don't bother.

Or put a sign up saying 'please excuse, she's from ooop north!'

[Oldgranny]

And wellies!

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

Yes - I admitted it is snobby to dislike it and I am owning that - I am not proudly being a snob and I am not looking down on anyone I just like to keep myself to myself and my indoor furniture indoors.

[Highalert]

I would imagine the Sandbanks people sit out the front. No point paying millions for a sea view and then sitting out the back.

[pictish]

Oh unfurl OP. Let her get on with it.

[paxillin]

I have a real itch now to go sit out front. I live in a large block and out front is were the drunks piss at night not so picturesque, but still.

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

OH was here when I came home from work and saw me balk and went and got her a camping chair - he was highly amused.

This time I may just let her know where they are in case she wants to sit out front.

[Misswiggy]

OP, thanks for posting this, you gave me such a laugh in your description of your MIL - she sounds great and just like the women of my childhood.

My mum (in fact the whole street!) used to do it this all the time. Terraced northern houses with no gardens - my childhood memories are of people 'sat on the step', chatting and catching the evening sun. I actually feel quite emotional thinking about it! The next door neighbour, an old bachelor, would come out with his lovely old dog and brush him, I also remember one young, single mum who would come and hang out 'on the step' with her babies. I suspect it was a welcome bit of social contact for many.
Times have changed - many people live their social lives on the internet now, but I have really fond memories of people doing just what your MIL likes doing. Try not to be so bothered about what the neighbours think - as you said, you're not friends with them anyway!!

[WellErrr]

I am not proudly being a snob and I am not looking down on anyone I just like to keep myself to myself and my indoor furniture indoors.

No that's not it - because then you would have said 'I'm a really private person' rather than 'I'm a snob.'

Your problem isn't people seeing your indoor chair outdoors; it's that they might see your common northern mother in law doing common northern things and being all common and friendly.

Zero class.

[jamdonut]

I'm a southerner living in Yorkshire. Sitting out front of your house is one of the very few things about northern life that really irks me!!!

It is so unnecessary ! Some people do it in our road, and it just makes the place look untidy (front 'gardens' are a bit 'open-plan' ). It's not even like they haven't got back gardens! It's not just our road though, it's wherever you go! I just don't get it!

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

Well if that's what you choose to see that's up to you.

She is a lovely lady and all my friends come and see her when she visits as she is such a good laugh. She's not common at all - it's just not something I am comfortable with as was brought up totally differently - that doesn't make me a better person.

There are things my family do which make OH uncomfortable and things his do which make me uncomfortable but we are polite and courteous in all of those situations.

[clearwaters]

Op I would hate this. And maybe we are both unreasonable but I would be cringing.

[Chattymummyhere]

Honestly I don't like it. The only people I ever see do it are the type who have a old sofa in the garden smoking weed drinking beer out of cans. Not exactly people I would stop to talk too.

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

The only people I have seen do it round here are the settled travelling community.

[clearwaters]

It's on the same level as men with their shirts off.