Am I being a terrible snob?

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

SMIL and FIL coming to stay for week soon which is an annual event. They are in all lovely and no trouble apart from the fact they watch every single soap going .

I admit I am not great with guests and I struggle having people in my space for long periods. We are also a large blended family so the house will be full (not relevant).

SMIL is a lovely northern lady who lives in an area where everyone is in and out of each other's houses, everyone knows that each other and it's a small area we live down south in a big area and very much keep to ourselves - we know most of our neighbours and are friendly but that's about it. I hate people turning up "unannounced".

We have no front garden (Victorian semi) just a very narrow path at the front of the house and a low wall dividing it from the pavement.

We do however have a (small) back garden which gets plenty of sun.

SMIL insists on taking a dining room chair and sitting on the front "path" and resting her legs on the wall with the front door wide open saying hello to anyone who walks past.

I know there are bigger things going on right now but AIBU to really hate her doing this as it's seems a bit "common" and prefer her to use the back which is private? I know she's not hurting anyone but I hate having my front door wide open (I will be at work some of the time). I need to chill out don't I?

[pottered]

Oh remembered my grandpa used to loiter in his front garden too as a pensioner to catch people to chat to

[KenDoddsDadsDog]

Hopefully it will rain and fhen she won't do it

[Hickoryandsage]

You need a front garden OP.

[Birdsgottaf1y]

Worry more about passing on your anxieties and snobbery to your children.

I'm wondering what sort of example is it to set that you can't do something as simple as sitting out the front, to your children,for fear that someone might have an opinion on it.

Compare that to them being picked on because they like a sport/clothes have interests that isn't mainstream and incites comments from their classmates and you wouldn't have a leg to stand on, trying to tell them to be their own person.

[RideOn]

YABU and seeing as you only know your neighbours these people she says hello to won't connect her to you anyway!

[2017SoFarSoGood]

Terrible snobbery, but totally understand it and feel the same!

However, how lovely she just wants to be able to see your world and enjoy it. The back garden could be anywhere, but the front is your neighborhood - new and exciting and fun. Let her enjoy it.

I would enforce use of a proper outdoor chair to be fair.

[heateallthebuns]

I'm from the north. I wouldn't do that. Even though the sun in our house goes to the front after about 4.

[Flyinggeese]

OP just stick one of these up at the front door, for privacy. Job done.

www.housewaresdirect.uk.com/sp+homeware-living-room-furniture-strip-door-blind+14955?gclid=CPGRk4rHytQCFa637Qod_R4ETA#fo_c=1561&fo_k=bafe299033fdef136d2ba56ea76a316c&fo_s=gplauk

[Papergirl1968]

My dad used to cut the front lawn in his (holey) white vest. Used to make me cringe. He died a few years ago and I'd give anything to see him doing it one last time.
Embarrassing relatives. We all have them. No big deal.
In the Midlands so not sure where that puts me in the north-south divide!

[Greatballs]

YA definitely BU!
It's a lovely thing to do. Most of my neighbours do this in nice weather, which isn't very often in the North
Naice, spacious detached houses in rural village. The children pop in and out of all the houses all the time. Parents sit out front, and yes sometimes on indoor furniture, and gossip. I don't like having to go in to cook or whatever as I feel like I'm missing out!

Maybe you should give it a try yourself OP

[Salmotrutta]

Aww pottered ...

OP - yes you are a snob.

Lots of lonely people might benefit from sitting out the front ... if snobby people didn't look down on them.

[Hulder]

My mother knew so many people in my village it turned out they all thought she lived in my house, when actually she just visited a few times a year. She spent her whole time waving to passersby from my front garden

Yes you are being snobby but I would ban the dining room chair and make her use a garden chair.

[user1497888420]

Leave her to it....we have a neighbour down the road who sits in her front garden on the wall in her purple dressing gown to smoke and chats to anyone walking by.

This is in deepest Surrey. I'm Northern and quite a common sight up North, not so much here but everyone is happy to chat to her.

[TheFirstMrsDV]

This reminds me of a thread on NM.
Someone started it for a rant. She wasn't bothering to ask if she was being unreasonable.
It wasn't even her house.

I have a vague memory of her screaming in caps 'BUT THEY ALL SIT AT THE FRONT OF THEIR HOUSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

It was hilarious.

[Billben]

Sorry, but no way would I let her carry on. My MIL wouldn't do this but my mother totally would. Embarrassing. And I don't care who calls me a snob.

[aintnothinbutagstring]

I'm a northerners in the southeast, you don't see many people sitting on the front, not the done thing really. But we recently moved and we have an elderly neighbour who sits out with his radio on soaking up the rays and charging his mobility scooter through an open window. I admit I've fallen a bit in love with him

[ShoesHaveSouls]

Southerner here - I think it's rather nice. Watching the world go by.

Don't think I've ever seen it round here, but whenever I'm out the front gardening, people often stop for a chat.

[neveradullmoment99]

I was sitting in my front garden today. Watching my dd on her bike on the pavement. I do it all the time. I just sit on my doorstep. I couldn't give a shit about anyone else. Its my garden and ill sit where i want to!
The lady across the road used to sit in her front and read her book.

[HotelEuphoria]

To me, as a northerner it isn't complicated. You sit where the sun is, we don't see much sun in the uk and even less than in the north, so when the sun shines you sit where it shines.

I used to live in a terrace, our five houses were south facing so we would sit on th step at the back. The other side of the road, about twenty houses, were north facing so would all sit in the front step or on a deck chair in their tiny front gardens.

I live off the road now with a beautiful rear garden but it faces north east. I only sit in the back in the morning, the front is reserved for after noon.

No one can see me at the front though!

[Salmotrutta]

I'm struggling to see exactly what the problem is with this.

How odd to be bothered by someone sitting outside a front door.

[sodablackcurrant]

North facing front gardens are just the job to stop this kind of behaviour. LOL.

No wonder South facing back gardens are at a premium.

My neighbours over the road have North facing back gardens, most of them have a little bench under the window or have created an enclosed porch to take advantage of the good weather.

The front gardens are big though. What's the harm.

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

I haven't actually said anything to her - these are just my thoughts which I cannot help - I am a bit of a snob but I would also hate to hurt her feelings. I did think she was having a lovely time and I don't see it I often down here but did a lot as a kid visiting my gran who lived up North - that's why I see it as a Northern thing probably.

[HotelEuphoria]

I meant our gardens were sought or north facing, just read that back and it didn't age sense.

[GreenRut]

My mum doesn't do this but she would totally be hanging around out front, just happening to 'need' to put something in the big bin when the neighbours are on their way in. She knows more about all of them than I do, I love it, it means I can get all the news without having to be sociable

[Shockers]

I joked before, but I think it's really sad that people actually believe they're a class above folk who are sociable, and who...? sit outside and say 'hello'.