Am I being a terrible snob?

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

SMIL and FIL coming to stay for week soon which is an annual event. They are in all lovely and no trouble apart from the fact they watch every single soap going .

I admit I am not great with guests and I struggle having people in my space for long periods. We are also a large blended family so the house will be full (not relevant).

SMIL is a lovely northern lady who lives in an area where everyone is in and out of each other's houses, everyone knows that each other and it's a small area we live down south in a big area and very much keep to ourselves - we know most of our neighbours and are friendly but that's about it. I hate people turning up "unannounced".

We have no front garden (Victorian semi) just a very narrow path at the front of the house and a low wall dividing it from the pavement.

We do however have a (small) back garden which gets plenty of sun.

SMIL insists on taking a dining room chair and sitting on the front "path" and resting her legs on the wall with the front door wide open saying hello to anyone who walks past.

I know there are bigger things going on right now but AIBU to really hate her doing this as it's seems a bit "common" and prefer her to use the back which is private? I know she's not hurting anyone but I hate having my front door wide open (I will be at work some of the time). I need to chill out don't I?

I would find that quite irritating - yes it's a working class or touch more northern think to do - but as a working class northerner I would find it a bit grating because I am quite introverted - and it's allowed to find people annoying without being called a snob

There is no way you would fit a lounger out there

We live in what it could be called 'posh' area in the south of the country . On our road we sit on our front garden / road, I take my chair and cuppa to the front to see my children play outside and my other two neighbors do the same ... we are all highly educated professionals , some work in London, and nobody comments or thinks is weird...

I don't think it's weird to sit in the front garden if you have one - I think it's a bit odd to sit on a dining room chair on the tiniest front path next to the pavement when there is a perfectly good garden out back!

On our street people either sit in their front gardens or if there's a few of us we'll sit out on the pavement.....or end up congregating in one person's garden as you go over to say hello.

The children get together and keep each other amused. We have a nice sit down and a cup of tea/beer depending on the time of day.

Lovely. I'd really miss it if i moved somewhere that didn't do that.

We don't all sit out at the front with our whippets and flat caps you know

That's only 'cos some of us have jack russels.

She sounds great. I sit out the front sometimes, on a foldey-up chair. Neighbour directly opposite sits on his step. Sometimes one of us has a cuppa tea. Send her to Newcastle - she can have tea and a garibaldi with me we'll sit out the front and knit

Anything other than garden furniture out, on the terrace, is not done in polite society. In the garden to the front elevation, in full view of passers by is common, IMO.

😉

There's far worse going on in the world. What the neighbours might say doesn't matter, it's sad we feel like this really. She just wants to be social, harmless. Leave her too it maybe just give her a chair to take out. My dad was completely embarrassing and used to say thing that were sao socially unacceptable but some people loved it and found it a breath of fresh and in retrospect I was embarrassed easily as a child. My dad isn't around anymore.

Sorry to dispel your biased view of the north, but we don't all do this. In the area where I live no-one sits outside the front and talks to each other - this is the modern way it appears. But where I grew up, we did all talk to each other across the back garden (while gardening) as we did not have a front garden - mainly just the immediate neighbours though. However, everyone passing said hello and how are you. YES, you are being a consummate snob - get over it. You MIL has a need to be sociable. She has nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of. I warrant many people will find it a refreshing change that someone says hello as they walk along. Could never, and still cannot get over how in London no-one talks to each other at all.

I've been inspired to go and sit outside our front now.

Not really because we're set quite a bit back from the road and the neighbours will be wondering if I've gone a bit mad.

I would actually love it if we went back to the days of sitting in your front garden. I see a few old people round here doing it & give them a cheery wave

in the context of this thread, shouldn't that be 'maice/rets'?

Superb comment!

I think that's a lovely thing to do!

Ohh I sometimes taken a garden chair and sit it out on the pavement in front of house when the kids are playing out, so I can keep my eye on them in comfort!

Yabvvu. And you're a stuck up snob. You remind me of hyacinth bucket. I wonder if they know that it annoys you and look forward to coming down to see you so they can see the snooty look on your face and they have a good laugh about it.

seems this sitting out the front goes way back

Actually I just remembered my gran used to do this up in a naice area of Harrogate. She lived on her own near a school & it was the highlight of her day seeing the kids walk past and started recognising the same faces

Falange

Met me have you?

There are plenty of other people on this thread who get why I don't really like it - so I guess they are also stuck up snobs.

Every neighbourhood is different - mine we keep ourselves to ourselves I don't really want to be in and out of everyone else's houses. I am very friendly with my elderly next door neighbours and often help thenoyt and pop round and I know quite a few other people on the street - I had a neighbour once who was round all the time and I wasn't overly keen, I like my own space at home and my privacy.

TBF, Lymm, it was the OP who used the word snob first.

YANBU. I would find it inappropriate too.

Hi
I sympathise with you,
I would not allow my inlaws to behave that way.
I think it's common what she is doing and you should tell her you don't like her doing it and if she disrespects your wishes then she can go sit on a dining chair in her own street
Oh I am a northerner through and through but find this a tad unsophisticated and unacceptable

I think unsophisticated is the word I should have used rather than common!

I've now realised it's a "northern" thing!you just made me think of my late Nan, should would sit a dining chair by the front door in summer! (She was from Lancashire, we were living in Berkshire, never saw anyone else in the neighbouring houses do the same)

I have no idea if I've met you or not OP. How would I know? Doubt it like. I'm just going off your post. In which you asked the question are you being a terrible snob. And in my opinion, yes you are.

Get a kitten and as soon as they arrive hustle them inside and say you're worried kit will get out on the road and be run over because traffic doesn't abide by speed limit
Next day ask her to use garden chair as concrete makes bottom of dining chair legs rough and they scratch the floor/catch on the carpet.
Good luck