Am I being a terrible snob?

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

SMIL and FIL coming to stay for week soon which is an annual event. They are in all lovely and no trouble apart from the fact they watch every single soap going .

I admit I am not great with guests and I struggle having people in my space for long periods. We are also a large blended family so the house will be full (not relevant).

SMIL is a lovely northern lady who lives in an area where everyone is in and out of each other's houses, everyone knows that each other and it's a small area we live down south in a big area and very much keep to ourselves - we know most of our neighbours and are friendly but that's about it. I hate people turning up "unannounced".

We have no front garden (Victorian semi) just a very narrow path at the front of the house and a low wall dividing it from the pavement.

We do however have a (small) back garden which gets plenty of sun.

SMIL insists on taking a dining room chair and sitting on the front "path" and resting her legs on the wall with the front door wide open saying hello to anyone who walks past.

I know there are bigger things going on right now but AIBU to really hate her doing this as it's seems a bit "common" and prefer her to use the back which is private? I know she's not hurting anyone but I hate having my front door wide open (I will be at work some of the time). I need to chill out don't I?

I sat on our front path last weekend on our dining room chair as I was desperate to get my white legs brown, it was sunny and I don't have a garden. I read a book and didn't say hi to people. I didn't feel very classy but in the grand scheme of things there are much bigger things to worry about. And no one batted an eyelid. However, since you have a nice back garden with furniture in it, then it is a little odd and I would probably encourage her to sit out the back instead without being rude (and definitely without mentioning the Northern thing!)

The late afternoon/evening sun hits our front, as it's the nicest part of the day I often sit out there with a wine...
Leave the woman in peace if she enjoys it, why do you care what others think? Also think it's southern snobbery or you wouldn't have mentioned her bring 'northern'

I love the view from my front garden so will very happily sit out front with a G&T on a lovely Summer evening with anyone who cares to join me.

Or by myself

I imagine your neighbours are talking behind your back and that house prices were falling as you typed. You clearly need to move before her next visit.

I live 'up north' and yes streets with terraced houses in some areas/cities, groups of women get together in each other's front gardens, or sit alone in own front garden. I've done it a few times. We talk over the fences, snacks are passed along the houses

See I am northern and on occasion I will sit out at the front of my mums house as she has a large grass area where my daughter can play out with other kids from the estate. So whilst it may seem a little odd if it's something your smil has done with her children it's a nice way to meet people.

My father does it, except he will even go to the extent of talking to neighbors over the fench. He doesn't take a chair though. He smokes so he spends a lot of time pottering around our front garden. He is from Northumberland, we live in Yorkshire now, previously Surrey and it's not normal in our posh part of Harrogate.

Clearly all OP needs to do to allay her fears is to get a comfortable chair her SMIL can sit on and ask her to shut the door (and make sure she has a key to get back in with. And breathe.

Is she like this OP?

I sit out the front all the time because our back garden never gets any evening sun. However I do hate seeing the neighbours coming and going as I am quite shy and always feel forced into a conversation!

yes you are

I'm in the Midlands and the retired people here do this. They sit outside and chat and give biscuits to the children on their way back from school. It's lovely.

In answer to your question, yes, you are being a terrible snob, as well as stereotyping half the population. It doesn't turn into a scene from a Lowry painting north of Watford Gap. We have Waitrose and even Christianity up the M6 you know. If your mother in law wants to sit outside and chat to people what's the problem. She might even get to know your neighbours better than you do and if all else fails you can always go round to them when she's gone home, roll your eyes and explain 'she's from the North you know'.

My grandma used to do this years ago in her little terraced house. They all did actually. Back gardens usually had coal in them and other stuff so people sat in their front ones and - gasp! - talked to each other.

I don't see the problem really - it's up to her isn't it? You could buy her a more comfortable chair to sit on though.

I lives in Surrey. One of my neighbours has no front garden and happily sits in her living room with the door open to the street. She always says hello. My dh who is from Liverpool thinks this is really common. I don't mind it at all as I come from South Wales and this is something people do quite regularly. My advice is go with the flow your smil is happy (which is always a bonus when mil are concerned)

It's only a week, just keep her tea cup topped up!

Dam you auto correct that should read I live ....I think my iPad knows I'm Welsh oh the shame

Front garden sitting doesn't happen much where I live, but how European! Wish it did as I'm sure it would be a way to mingle more with the local community.

We live up north and are born and bred northerners but we live on a rural road. However, should any cyclists, runners, walkers or horse riders make the mistake of stopping at the top of our driveway dd(4) is straight out for a chat. I feel she and your mil are kindred spirits! (Dh and I are grumpy sods though and would prefer not to talk to anyone!)

First time added a comment or review so may be not the right place.But we have the most amazing decorator at the moment
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Yes! And what relevance is it where she Iives? I'm sure not everyone in the South is posh. Total snobbery.

I totally sympathize with you; living in not a particularly desirable area of Nottingham I will sometimes see entire families sat outside on the street with the obligatory fag in hand.

Living in the area that I do has made me a snob, and I now have a 'us and them' mentality; with 'them' sitting outside grimy front doors amongst a collection of bins, while using that naff local accent with scruffy, unruly kids ( Ger in this aaaaaass NAAAAAAH )-

Wendy - did SMIL put you up to this?