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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have not removed DS from tea room?

855 replies

OtAndBothered · 19/06/2017 18:14

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" Shock.

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 19/06/2017 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pancakeflipper · 19/06/2017 18:35

Must have been pretty full on for so many people in the tearoom to be annoyed.

I should have joined English Heritage instead.

PurpleDaisies · 19/06/2017 18:36

Cross posted with the op. Ignore my last post.

allegretto · 19/06/2017 18:36

When my twins were babies, we were on holiday in the UK and it was raining really hard. We went into a cafe for lunch and the service was quite slow and they started crying as we were getting their bottles sorted. I knew they would stop crying (and they did) as soon as they got the bottles. One customer told me that we should take them outside in the rain until they stopped crying. Hmm I think that was unreasonable to be honest but seeing as there were two of you and your ds would have probably benefitted from a bit of fresh air, I think you were unreasonable, sorry.

Justmuddlingalong · 19/06/2017 18:36

Oh that's OK then Hmm

Buttercup12233 · 19/06/2017 18:36

YAB so U. I can't believe this actually happened.

MacarenaFerreiro · 19/06/2017 18:37

20 minutes?????

Jeezo. No wonder people were angry.

user1495484765 · 19/06/2017 18:37

The fact that several people complained about it means that you were the unreasonable one. As others have said, why take them somewhere like that on such a hot day.

Aliveinwanderland · 19/06/2017 18:37

I would have asked the waiter for a jug of cold water and some paper towels, then taken toddler outside to cool him down.

OtAndBothered · 19/06/2017 18:38

Just to add our air con isn't working in the car so it was a no no putting him in there and even if it was, the car was miles away from where we were so it would have meant dragging him kicking and screaming in the heat and I was worried he would overheat. Not to drip feed but as a child I had fits if I got overheated and I was worried it would happen to him.

The national trust was connected to Harry Potter which is why we took DS1

OP posts:
Sunnymorningwithbacon · 19/06/2017 18:38

Jesus fuck. 20 minutes?

Holy crap.

Fuck me.

20
Minutes?

I'm speechless. Stunned.

You entitled selfish midden.

AdalindSchade · 19/06/2017 18:39

20 minutes of toddler crying Hmm so selfish

Sunnymorningwithbacon · 19/06/2017 18:39

DS 1 is 4 not 14.

Wise up. Seriously give your head a wobble.

Have you no sense ?

BendydickCuminsnatch · 19/06/2017 18:39

Open the windows then! Obvs I don't mean just sit in the stationary car Confused

HelenaJustina · 19/06/2017 18:39

I'm confused as to what you did when you finished disturbing people your lunch? You say outside was too hot for your child, where did you go?

chanel19 · 19/06/2017 18:39

ashamed of yourself
Grin
Haha!
Yes, op find a way to torture yourself to make it up to the universe!
I think op gets it now...

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/06/2017 18:39

Wow OP, you're just full of excuses aren't you? Your behaviour was appallingly selfish.

LogicalPsycho · 19/06/2017 18:40

YABVU.

"What were we meant to do? It was too hot outside"

Then go fucking home and parent your distressed child.

Sirzy · 19/06/2017 18:40

Nothing you have added begins to justify disturbing other diners for 20 minuteS

UnicornSparkles1 · 19/06/2017 18:41

20 minutes!!

If it was my cafe I would have asked you to leave.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 19/06/2017 18:41

Also you could have wet a muslin/spare top/paper napkin and cooled him down.

Or as PP said just get him a 99 cone!

LogicalPsycho · 19/06/2017 18:41

Not to drip feed but as a child I had fits if I got overheated and I was worried it would happen to him.

I'd have had a fit if I had to listen to your screaming child.

NapQueen · 19/06/2017 18:41

20 mins?!?!?!

phoenixtherabbit · 19/06/2017 18:41

I don't think you were being unreasonable. If you'd have taken him outside he would of presumably screamed in front of different people anyway.

When did people become so intolerant of children?

I would have given you a look of sympathy not evils because I'm a parent and not am arsehole

JustCallMeKate · 19/06/2017 18:41

Sunnymorning your post actually made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that Grin

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