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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have not removed DS from tea room?

855 replies

OtAndBothered · 19/06/2017 18:14

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" Shock.

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

OP posts:
DrSpin · 19/06/2017 18:24

I sadly can't take my little one to Cafés at the moment, regardless of weather. Picnics in the park under a tree for me.

Tapandgo · 19/06/2017 18:24

How unreasonable. Children are difficult to manage is hot temperatures and surely you knew that. However to inflict that on everybody and on someone's business is thoughtless. Surely you don't think you are entitled to wreck everybody's day out? Nobody wants to pay for a meal and be forced to eat it in stressful situations.

AdalindSchade · 19/06/2017 18:24

But it was too hot for him outside, this is the whole point! And there was nowhere I could have cooled him down!

Sure but if he was too hot and wailing outside it would only have inconvenienced you, his parents, rather than everyone in the cafe.

Shesaysso · 19/06/2017 18:24

YABU - I would have been well hacked off. You should have taken him out and found some shade or failing that gone home.

Many times when my children were younger either myself or DH either ate alone or just couldn't eat what we ordered as one of our children were crying and we took them out of the cafe.

BeyondThePage · 19/06/2017 18:24

You lacked common courtesy.

The onus is ALWAYS on the parents to provide the solution - there were 2 adults, one should have taken the noisy child outdoors - yes it is hot, but shady spots can be found where you are not disturbing others.

AfunaMbatata · 19/06/2017 18:24

Couldn't you have shoved an ice cream cone in his hand? Usually works.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 19/06/2017 18:24

WTF? Of course YWBU! To your children for planning such a ridiculous outing, to the tea room for turning it into somewhere no other customers wanted to be, and to the customers themselves.

I can't believe you need MN to point that out.

2014newme · 19/06/2017 18:24

Abbeys are usually very cool inside I'd have popped back there. Or chosen something more suitable to do given the weather. Or taken him to get an ice lolly.
It must have been really really bad for so many people to complain, national Trust old grans ate usually very understanding

fruitbrewhaha · 19/06/2017 18:25

I think everyone is suffering with the heat and perhaps less accommodating than they would normally be. There was a health warning that is was going to be extremely hot today, perhaps a bit ambitious.
Chalk it up to experience.

Whosthemummynow · 19/06/2017 18:25

Wow. Hope you don't live near me!

You sound like more of a dick with each update!

TheHobbitMum · 19/06/2017 18:25

Wow, you were YABVVU! Everyone wants to enjoy their day out, the lunches they have paid for and you knowingly kept your son there dispite him being upset and tired. I'd of asked for our lunches to go and sat in the cold air conditioning of the car, you would've been happier, the kids would've been cooler and those other paying guests could eat their meals! That poor tea room would've lost custom and had upset customers. Your son was tired, hot and upset, take him home! Today was a silly day to go wandering outside at NT, in this heat kids would prefer swimming pool or indoor air con activities etc I'd of been cheesed off to be faced with a screaming child while trying to enjoy a lunch out, for all we know that was a rare treat that was spoiled

Rioja123 · 19/06/2017 18:25

God I hate it when I'm out and parents just sit there while their kids scream the place down. Even if it was hot outside you are missing the point - you would have given the rest of those in the cafe a break and let them enjoy theirs in peace!

pinkbraces · 19/06/2017 18:25

Ha ha ha, this must be a joke, surely nobody could be this selfish?

Figgygal · 19/06/2017 18:25

You should have kept them home on a day like today sorry but you were wrong and if it was that bad taken him home asap

stuntcamel · 19/06/2017 18:26

Having to sit and eat my lunch while listening to a screaming toddler would have annoyed the crap out of me too. YABU and completely unfair on everyone else in the place.

You should have taken it in turns to eat, while the other one tried to calm him down outside. There must have been some shade somewhere.

Seryph · 19/06/2017 18:26

Sorry but I think you were being a little U. There were two of you, so one could have taken him out while the other stayed with your other DS.
If it was that dreadfully hot and uncomfortable would it not have been better to go sit in the car with the cold air on?

I do get it, I'm a nanny with a little girl aged 1 who has been known to start screaming in cafes, but I do leave with her as quickly as possible. It's really no fun to listen to other people's children (or your own sometimes!)

Haffdonga · 19/06/2017 18:26

Is this a reverse? Are you actually the elderly couple or the waiter?

Surely you wouldn't be genuinely posting a question about such incredibly anti-social behaviour if you were the parent here. You'd be too ashamed of your over- entitled attitude.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 19/06/2017 18:26

I think you are determined to be right here op but honestly you were in the wrong in this situation. There were several options including one take.him outside, all of you leave and find some shade, go home and have some lunch there bit you chose the option that annoyed other people and ruined their lunch. Really poor of you, I hope you learn from this experience

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 19/06/2017 18:27

You know the waiter needs to stack plates, right? That's his job.

I bet he also had a splitting headache, I would've.

Sirzy · 19/06/2017 18:27

If a child can't be settled in a couple of minutes then you remove them. Other diners don't want to have to listen to a tantruming toddler

littlepooch · 19/06/2017 18:28

Yabu. I can't actually believe you are actually serious. I'm amazed you didn't ask the waiter to wait and not tidy up until you had finished your massively entitled lunch and had decided to depart at a time that suits you. Wow.

Guavaf1sh · 19/06/2017 18:28

You're so selfish!!! YABU!!

Catminion · 19/06/2017 18:28

Utterly selfish on your part - driving these people away from their lunch. I am tolerant on public transport for example where people have no choice, but this situation was entirely of your own making.

CalmItKermitt · 19/06/2017 18:28

Your dh was right. You were massively selfish.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/06/2017 18:28

@OtAndBothered - why not take him to the loos, strip him down and give him a spongedown with cool water? Then, if that calmed him down, back to the table in just a nappy and t-shirt.