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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have not removed DS from tea room?

855 replies

OtAndBothered · 19/06/2017 18:14

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" Shock.

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

OP posts:
Lweji · 25/06/2017 22:11

Not ashamed. Mortified. Her mistake was not saying she was mortified.

5LiveSportsExtra · 25/06/2017 22:15

Does anyone really give a shit?

RaspberryBeretHoopla · 25/06/2017 22:16

This is a very important subject. We give lots of shits.

We are going to hold an annual re-enactment, that is how many shits some of us give.

Mittens1969 · 25/06/2017 22:16

In all fairness, she did admit she was unreasonable. And she clearly was mortified as she disappeared from the thread completely never to be seen again.

Mittens1969 · 25/06/2017 22:19

Is the re-enactment starting already lol???

SmileEachDay · 25/06/2017 22:21

That's not a bad idea Mittens

Bagsy being the noisy waiter.

Lweji · 25/06/2017 22:27

I never give a shit. I charge for it.

Actually, sometimes I collect them, but that's a different type of thread.

Zippydoodah · 25/06/2017 22:43

I wouldn't have given much of a shit if I 'd been there. Been there and done that with 2very tantrumy kids so I tend to feel sorry for the person whose kid is kicking off and thank God it's not me now.

Yes, I'd have thought ow my ears and wondered why the people persevered for so long but I certainly wouldn't have got up,starred or anything like that

MerchantofVenice · 25/06/2017 22:45

Well, I've read the whole thread so I get to comment!

My god, I loathe judgemental people. I'm no fan of screaming children (mine or otherwise), but I prefer a bit of noise to sneering busybodies.

I find it incredible how some people have decided to judge every aspect of OP's day, rather than just the relevant bit. You took your kids to an abbey? J
How boring! You went out on a hot day? Why didn't you just get the paddling pool out? Your kid likes Harry Potter? Well, that's clearly unacceptable.

FWIW kids do love NT properties in my experience. They don't, admittedly, go for the architecture/in-depth history- but they do like to explore, and there are often children's nature trails etc.

Also, people without small children don't go to tea rooms for the 'peace and quiet'! They live entire lives of peace and quiet because they don't have small children! So, whilst a noisy kid will be am annoyance, it probably won't ruin their day.

Anyway, who was that wise guy who said you should never look down on someone unless you're helping them up? I like those posters who suggested actual solutions. It's all very well spouting about 'entitled parents' but who is rhat helping? No one! It's just about being right. My, that must feel good!

Zippydoodah · 25/06/2017 22:54

^this

RaspberryBeretHoopla · 25/06/2017 22:59

So shall I out you two down for the re-enactment then?

lucypocketon · 25/06/2017 22:59

I'm guessing this is lacock abbey, if not apologies, but there is fuck loads of shade around there. And with two parents present I imagine at least one of you would have managed to deal with the difficult (?) task of finding some, or the very prominent ice cream van. Most selfish thread I have ever read.

RaspberryBeretHoopla · 25/06/2017 22:59

*put

Mittens1969 · 25/06/2017 23:05

They would have done better with a picnic, that's for sure, always works better with young kids that a tea room.

Who wants to play the part of the op in this re-enactment??? Seeing as the original op is very definitely not coming back for round 2 lol!!

nina2b · 26/06/2017 00:04

Many OPs disappear never to be seen again. It's one of the most unacceptable things about this forum. They can't all be "mortified". Hmm

5LiveSportsExtra · 26/06/2017 00:08

Fuck me, I'd disappear after this sparkling banter fest. In fact I'd probably do a swift bit of sock puppeting on my way out to cover my tracks

Mittens1969 · 26/06/2017 00:19

I suppose there's no law that says they have to stay on and answer all those posters attacking them. That wouldn't be pleasant for anyone, regardless of how unreasonable she may have been at the tea room.

It's why I would never do an AIBU post.

nina2b · 26/06/2017 00:25

Well, I hope she is feeling feeling deeply ashamed in that case.

nina2b · 26/06/2017 00:25

One feeling. Sigh

Mittens1969 · 26/06/2017 00:34

It's not like she disrupted your life, though, is it? Or are you in fact one of the patrons at the tea room in disguise? Now, that would add some further spice to this thread, not that it's actually needed lol. Smile

5LiveSportsExtra · 26/06/2017 00:47

Does anyone honestly really care? I hope the OP isn't feeling deeply ashamed, I hope if they were upset by the incident that this thread helped them sort through what they felt they did wrong and/or did right and what they might do differently in future for a more positive outcome. To my mind that's a better outcome after 800+ posts than a complete stranger (assuming it's all true) left feeling a bit crap.

Lweji · 26/06/2017 00:47

Many OPs disappear never to be seen again. It's one of the most unacceptable things about this forum.

That's where you call the thread police. They'll chase them.

RaspberryBeretHoopla · 26/06/2017 01:49

MN really should employ an Internal Affairs Division to track down and arrest these absconding OPs.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 26/06/2017 06:29

"Deeply ashamed"

Such hyperbole

Mittens1969 · 26/06/2017 07:48

Yes, definitely need to overcrowd our prisons further with absconding OPs.

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