AIBU? Sister named/naming her children the same as mine...

[McCormick1988]

I have 2 sons: Hayden and Oliver.

DSis had a daughter after I had Hayden and named her Hayden I didn't care too much as she was a girl and mine was a boy. It also didn't matter that much.

My Oliver is 2 months and she is the 3rd trimester of her pregnancy and has announced he's an Oliver.

Different middle names but still!

AIBU to think this is a bit unfair?

Maybe there are no "underlying issues" to address.

There clearly are.

Did ds have difficulty conceiving? I'm wondering if the comment about you being lucky enough to be pregnant first is the issue. Possibly some connection to her wanting a child when yours were born and hence attachment to the names. I do think it's very strange behaviour though

As I often read "Nobody owns a name" so OP's sister can call her children whatever she likes but it's the children who are affected. It is unfair to the OP's children and to their cousins.

Think of the outrage if Prince Harry had two children and called them George and Charlotte.

Both of my Mum's sisters named their sons Andrew. I don't think it has ever been a problem, but then again one family live in US and the other here in England and I don't think the cousins have actually ever met each other!

Think of the outrage if Prince Harry had two children and called them George and Charlotte

Especially if he had two boys....

I think OP's sister not-so-secretly wants to be her.

OP is incredibly sanguine about it all.

As an experiment, I suggest OP has another 12 kids - just to see whether Single White Sister rises to the bait.

I think this is quite different from sister using cousin's name as a middle name or something. Or using same first name as say more distant relative. It's just bonkers.

What a weirdo! I'd actually be furious. I'm mostly against the general consensus of "nobody owns a name" anyway. I think friends etc using your kids names is annoying and off. Unless they're much, much younger/different generation then mayyyybe. This is the kind of thing I would be falling out over, not once but twice?! Very odd

OP, are your children in line to inherit some fortune on their paternal side? Perhaps this is all some sinister plot to substitute her children for yours and disappear with the ill-gotten gains! (Rubs hands gleefully and chortles...)

My twin sister is having a baby soon. They are going to name him Jack, the same as my son (Jack is my brother in law's Dad's name). I am v upset with them, especially as they know how I feel. I wish this didn't upset me as much as it does, but my boy is nearly 12, and we have a v small and close family. I feel that people will talk about this, and I don't understand why they would want to have this controversy in their lives. Am I being too sensitive?

Your sister is weird.

I'd be furious.

In my husbands family, every single male has the same first name, going back hundreds of years, so my son,husband,father-in-law etc are all called this.The difference is that they all take their middle name as what they are called. In fact , because there was no-one in the family actually being referred to as their first name, we followed naming tradition and then actually refer to our son by this name and not his middle name. However, I think it is very strange for a sibling to call both her children the same names as her sister. I avoided certain names I loved as they were already taken. I think similar is ok like Jasper/Caspar but the same is a little daft if not a tradition.

DS shares a name with a more distant cousin, the type we only see sporadically at family occasions. They were named after the same relative, and it causes little confusion as they are several years apart and rarely together.

I'm one letter apart from a closer cousin (Anna/ Hannah) type name and again that's no problem.

Repeating a name for a cousin can be understandable, but naming the second with the same name is a different league. Sharing the middle initials too is extra loss of individuality, and something that could be a problem to the children and extended family. Is she usually prone to copying/ jealousy/ attention seeking?

I could kind of understand it if she had, for a very long time, fondly nursed the idea of naming her child Hayden. It's unusual and perhaps she had always loved it and was dismayed when you pipped her to the post.....so I could imagine that scenario.

However, to then go on and call no 2 Oliver is just.......really weird. And people are going to judge her. At least your two are obviously older (at least a couple of years?) so its going to be clear who named first.

Agree with others - it's weird.

Try calling her DC Hayden2 and Oliver2. She is weird as fuck.

She's really weird.

Claim you're getting a dog and give it a really obscure name and see how long it takes her to copy. Just for the shits and giggles.

Is this real? I can't believe it.

She's unhinged.

If I were you, I'd start using nicknames for your kids as standard. See what happens then- you know if your Oliver is Ollie... will her Oliver be an Ollie too? Hayden's harder.... Denny maybe???

If she copies again, tell her she has to decide whether her kids will be the full name or the nickname, and stick to it, so as not to confuse them or family.

It's a shit solution, but it's a batshit situation...

just make sure they don't go to the same schools

I love Lillian and Alice but I have nieces called Lily and Alicia via my DBro and DH's DBro so wouldn't consider these babes. It would just get confusing as they would be 1st cousins.

I can't believe that your DSIS friends are not questioning her sanity over these babes? I would be having a chat (with head tilt) if she were my friend

Why the feck did my phone change "names" to "babes" hopefully you understand what I am on about?!

Every time someone makes a comment say something that points out that your kids are older. It's your sister that sounds odd and lacking in imagination. I would imagine when the kids are older, they will get pretty fed up of being in the same place and not knowing who's being called by grandparents. Her kids will feel it more, unfortunately, because they are younger. Silly woman.

They'll be known as Hayden 2 and Oliver 2. I feel sorry for them.

OP im annoyed for you. It's unbelievable.

BUT it reflects badly on her, not you. Everyone must be laughing at her behind her back.
Boggling that your DM has made no comment