Should I take the job when I cheated to get it

[Fuzzywuzzy1]

Name changed.

I'm rubbish at interviews and had failed at over 7 over 6 months.

I had a job coming up and I knew there was a friend of a friend who could help me. I admit I was manipulative. I gave her a bit of a sob story about how I was so depressed I couldn't get a job (it was true though). Knowing she would put a good word in for me.

So she told the hiring manager I was brilliant and the person she wanted to get the job etc. She worked for the same department previously and was very well respected so this personal recommendation mattered. But while it helps there is a 'merit' based system so while it's not point based it's an overall mark for your answer.

So the friend found out the questions beforehand for me and rang me to give me them and then sat down with me the following week and told me what to say for each one.

When the day of the interview came I obviously excelled as I knew the questions and answers. There was one question I didn't know but gave a good answer anyway.

I got the job and was delighted. I am qualified for the job and competent but I'm so so rubbish at interviews.

As my start date goes nearer I my excitement has gone.

I cheated.

I would not have known the answers without help and had a HUGE advantage over the other candidates. I don't think I would be sacked if found out and there's no way they could prove it anyway but I just feel bad.

Like I've not got the job on merit.

But then loads of people get jobs because of who they know every day.

So maybe I should forgive myself.

AIBU to feel really guilty?

I'm genuine interested in people's opinions on this too

To be honest it doesn't come across as though you have any concern for it at all. More that you're rather pleased with yourself.

Yup, this exactly.

Sounds like you just want validation for what you think was a clever way of hacking the system when you should know it was a shabby and deceitful, (maybe illegal), shabby choice.

You cheated, not just yourself but the company and other candidates.

You don't know the other candidates circumstances.

How many jobs they've applied for in the past year - what arrangements or sacrifices they had to make to go the interview - child care? travel costs? interview clothes?

But then again, you don't seem to give a flying fuck about anyone apart from poor little you.

But I guess cheats don't do they?

Boo fucking hoo.

On the other-hand, you don't need to worry about imposter syndrome.

There is no syndrome -

you are an imposter - remember that.

I'm appalled that so many people think this behaviour is morally acceptable.

So you didn't take any notice of the replies on your previous thread?

I'm astonished at most of these answers. I'm sure unfair decision making processes happen all the time in board rooms elsewhere, but how is that relevant? This company was trying to conduct a fair process.

Being recommended, having a good word put in for you is fine. Getting a bit of background knowledge on the company and the interviewers is fine. Getting the specific questions and told what to say is absolutely not fine.

And the latest update is even worse. The OP has been given a job based on her having a certain standard of technical legal knowledge which she does not have. This isn't a situation where the OP does have a really good example of xyz competency but struggles to explain it in an interview. She doesn't have the legal knowledge to answer the questions they were using to select the best candidate.

hackmum - people aren't necessarily saying it was the right thing to do, but it's done now isn't it? I wouldn't advise someone to do this, but OP would be silly to let a good job go.

Is it cheating?

I an job hunting and it's part of my interview prep to find out what the interview protocol is. I'll phone hr and ask for sample questions, job profiles etc.

Nearly every advert will give a name to contact for an "informal chat". I call them, ask about the job. I've even been invited to visit the department informally before interview.

I worked for the police for years. Their interviews are very standard. It is usual practice for senior officers to offer to mentor wannabes, talk them through the application and interview process. That someone goes to the trouble to prepare so thoroughly is seen as very positive, they've put a lot of time and effort into making sure they are the best candidate.

It's not cheating, it's research. For my last job i got a list of questions from a friend- if i didn't have him to ask, i'd have asked hr or the contact person in the ad.

If i'm interviewing it's a positive that someone is well prepared.

So nothing to feel guilty about, o/p

"How many jobs they've applied for in the past year - what arrangements or sacrifices they had to make to go the interview - child care? travel costs? interview clothes? "

This happens all the time though doesn't it. Employers invite people to an interview when they've already secretly allocated the job to someone. At least it happens a lot in sectors where employers are obliged to advertise externally.

So you didnt even know the answers?

Its not that she wrote out what you should say. She actually answered the questiom for you?

That is wrong. And its not helpful to you either.

I think this sort of thing happens more than you would ever think! Many people I know (including me) didn't get their jobs 100% on their own merit and had some advantages over the other candidates. Take the job and make the best of it! Good luck xxx

If it's ever discovered and you and your friend are dismissed it will serve you both right.
I'm glad I don't work with either of you - and with most of the posters who've validated your dishonest and corrupt behaviour.

And flowery is absolutely right.

Ok so yeah you had help but if you weren't qualified for it you'd never of even got the interview. And as someone who is also awful at interviews I see no real harm in having help from a friend.
I'd take the job and give it your all and prove to yourself you deserve it (which you do!) Good luck!

You're competent and can do the job.

That is all that matters. Interviews are to reduce the risk of taking on a no-hoper - and can never ever 100% predict success in role. You actually just cut to the chase and made it more efficient for them to hire you :)

Think about how many people are in a job and you wonder how on earth that happened...they all had "interviews".

Don't worry and just get out there and do the best job you can.

I'm newly qualified. I didn't know the answers before. I'd not have got the job

Perhaps, then, it might have occurred to you that the post may not be suitable for someone newly qualified, especially as you'd have been able to answer hardly any of the questions without cheating

I'd have thought, in a field such as law/legislation, that integrity and honesty were an absolute essential - perhaps that's something which you may discover to your cost if you accept the role

Oh, and I think you'll find that "so many people feeling sorry for you" is hardly a good route into a professional and responsible job

The positions are all qualified for newly qualified.

But you learn on the job.

You're not expected to know everything at interview. But might not get the job if against experienced workers

What flowery and DAMN said.
Come off it OP! You have no intention of not taking the job and believe you are entirely justified in behaving as you have. The public hand-
wringing and guilt is bogus. The purpose of the interview is to find the best candidate for the job. Not only did you need help to answer the questions you went into the interview knowing what would be asked therefore giving you a distinct unfair advantage over other candidates. No nerves, no prepping for whatever questions might come up as the others had to do - you knew! Why do you think you deserve the job? Because you can't perform on the day without help? Good luck with the rest of your career, you'll need it.

I'm very very competent in practice.

I'm just rubbish in interviews.

Big difference.

God, i'm really glad some normal people turned up and gave OP a dressing down. Fancy cheating to get a legal job. FFS.

Its absolutely fine to speak to a contact somewhere you are going for an interview, its doing your homework. It is very wrong to find out what technical questions you will be asked and have someone else tell you the answers you need to give.

The technical questions are there to determine your level of knowledge/experience and ability to do the job. If you cant answer them you are not suitable for the job.

Loose lips sink ships and yours has a leak. There are at least 3 people that know about this, things like this don't stay secret forever, and the type of person who would get your the answers is the type of person who will boast/confide to the wrong person how they helped you get a job to make themselves feel important/good. When it comes out both you and your friend will be disciplined and potentially sacked for gross misconduct with no references. Actions have consequences.

The reason I got this help is because my colleague knew how good I was. It's a testament to my competence.

This "donation to charity" business brings the buying of medieval indulgences to mind...

Competency based interviews are awful and actually a terrible way to assess someone. The fact that you can "cheat" at them is partly the proof of this.

It is well known in the organisation I work for that if you're good at talking about yourself you'll get the job. Complete nonsense when I see some of the people in some of the roles. Nothing to do with experience or ability- because people can lie about them! So i wouldn't feel bad. You found a way to avoid a nonsense system. Well done.

Maxim I swear by - if you have to ask, it probably aint right.

You're not expected to know everything at interview. But might not get the job if against experienced workers

Then that's fair enough - IME experienced staff don't automatically give the best impression, but if such a person was felt to be best for the role then so be it

I wonder, if you accept the role and your cheating has consequences, whether you'll be prepared to put your hands up and accept whatever the outcome of that might be?