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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I take the job when I cheated to get it

309 replies

Fuzzywuzzy1 · 18/06/2017 09:22

Name changed.

I'm rubbish at interviews and had failed at over 7 over 6 months.

I had a job coming up and I knew there was a friend of a friend who could help me. I admit I was manipulative. I gave her a bit of a sob story about how I was so depressed I couldn't get a job (it was true though). Knowing she would put a good word in for me.

So she told the hiring manager I was brilliant and the person she wanted to get the job etc. She worked for the same department previously and was very well respected so this personal recommendation mattered. But while it helps there is a 'merit' based system so while it's not point based it's an overall mark for your answer.

So the friend found out the questions beforehand for me and rang me to give me them and then sat down with me the following week and told me what to say for each one.

When the day of the interview came I obviously excelled as I knew the questions and answers. There was one question I didn't know but gave a good answer anyway.

I got the job and was delighted. I am qualified for the job and competent but I'm so so rubbish at interviews.

As my start date goes nearer I my excitement has gone.

I cheated.

I would not have known the answers without help and had a HUGE advantage over the other candidates. I don't think I would be sacked if found out and there's no way they could prove it anyway but I just feel bad.

Like I've not got the job on merit.

But then loads of people get jobs because of who they know every day.

So maybe I should forgive myself.

AIBU to feel really guilty?

OP posts:
cromwell44 · 18/06/2017 12:17

Competent is not the same as being the best candidate for the job.
I'm guessing the interview panel weren't looking for 'component', they were looking for the best - assuming a level playing field.

cromwell44 · 18/06/2017 12:20

Whoops competent not component.

LedaP · 18/06/2017 12:21

So people ask you questions they expect you to not know the answer to?

But then you could lose out if someone does know the answers?

And you have lost out in multiple interviews because you didnt know the answers to the questions they expected you not to know?

That doesnt even make sense.

But you skipped the actual finding out what the answers were and went straight to getting someone else to do the work for you.

You have no intention of not taking this job. You just wanted to tell everyone how clever you were to manipulate someone into risking their job for you.

You cant tell anyone in RL. So bragged here.

You do realise you have set the bar high for yourself? They are expecting someone at the same level as someone who has experience.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/06/2017 12:21

I'm very very competent in practice ... I'm just rubbish in interviews

Oh please, not that old one again Hmm I can just about see this argument for lesser positions, but don't you think that a professional role calls for the ability to present yourself in a positive and appropriate manner whatever the challenges?

Witchend · 18/06/2017 12:22

It was a friend of a friend-not someone who knew how good you were. If she'd believed you would get the job on your own merit then she wouldn't have given you the answers.

But you think you're safe. I'd say not at all. She falls out with you, she is leaving, she casually mentions it to someone who isn't impressed... all ways it can come out. Someone queries why you seemed to know everything at interview, but you are now totally ignorant of simpler things and she mentions it.
There's a good chance she's mentioned it to the mutual friend, who could mention it to someone else "oh yes, I know Fuzzy. My friend who works there gave her all the answers to the questions..."
These things have a horrible habit of coming out when you least expect.

WeAllHaveWings · 18/06/2017 12:23

The reason I got this help is because my colleague knew how good I was. It's a testament to my competence.

Then you go into the interview with the backing of her reference and your knowledge. If you don't know the answers you are giving a true reflection of your knowledge and experience and they can decide based on all factors.

Your colleagues impression of you is clouded by your friendship, and the fact she obtained answers to the interview questions for you says everything we need to know about her ability to make good judgements.

DAMNgina · 18/06/2017 12:23

my colleague knew how good I was. It's a testament to my competence.

Did you start this thread to 'get off' on the responses? Cos it sounds like something a highly manipulative person would do.

I bet you're kind of disappointed that you've had supportive responses right?

Hoping to upset people I guess?

Any way it sounds like you and your colleague are both cut for the same corrupt cloth.

So what do you say to all the other candidates that you involved in this sham?

Do you not think that THEY were just as competent?

What about the recruiters and the panel you deceived?

Sorry, my mistake, you don't have a conscience, other people are just collateral damage to you aren't they?

Why would you care?

However as more than one person knows about it, it's likely you'll both be exposed.

akaWisey · 18/06/2017 12:24

LedaP.

I agree. I'm not usually one to get sucked in, but meh. I put it down to too much sun Grin.

NashvilleQueen · 18/06/2017 12:24

Yeah by that last reply from OP I think it's all a bit of an ego trip

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/06/2017 12:26

These things have a horrible habit of coming out when you least expect

They do indeed - which is why I'll be interested to see if OP's prepared to say how she'll approach things if this all comes back to bite her

Badbadbunny · 18/06/2017 12:27

Are you actually capable and competent to do the job? That's the main question that matters most. If you're not certain you're up to it, then for heaven's sake don't do it.

Original poster
Fuzzywuzzy1 · 18/06/2017 12:30

I'm certain I can do th job.

I had a practice placement. It was a whole year of practical assessment where my every move was analysed. I received a distinction. It doesn't get more clear than that.

It is because of this that I've been able to get an interview for every job I apply for.

I also qualified with a prestigious company that have very high standards.

I know I can do this job. I just needed the chance.

OP posts:
DAMNgina · 18/06/2017 12:31

I know I can do this job. I just needed the chance

What about THE OTHER PEOPLE from whom you stole this chance?

WeAllHaveWings · 18/06/2017 12:32

Are you actually capable and competent to do the job? That's the main question that matters most.

Of course the OP believes she is capable to do the job, its just everyone else who doesn't (including her friend who didn't believe she could get through the interview without not only the questions but the answers too!)

NellieBuff · 18/06/2017 12:32

I've been chatting to my hubby about this (amongst other things I may add) and he suggests that if you are that competent (everyone can call themselves competent but this does not mean they are the best person for the post) and sure of yourself that you should tell your future employer what you have done. If they see this as showing initiative, planning ahead etc as some posters believe they will still give you the post. If they believe you are immoral and have no conscience they will withdraw their offer. Easy..

Another point he raised is if you are prepared to cheat to obtain a post what will you do if you make a mistake or error. Will you use the same moral compass you used to obtain the post i.e. will you make people feel sorry for you and a cover up ensues.

Now that is food for thought

Witchend · 18/06/2017 12:33

If you are so certain that it is just preparation etc. then on Monday phone up the interviewer and explain that you'd been given the questions before hand and the answers and let them make a decision from knowing that.

If they think "great initiative and preparation" they'll be fine with it.

Witchend · 18/06/2017 12:34

Great minds Nellie

Oysterbabe · 18/06/2017 12:34

I wouldn't worry about it too much. In my industry most jobs go to someone who had a word put in for them by someone they know. Before I got the job at my current place I had a call from someone I used to work with who was a manager there to give me a few "pointers". I bet it happens all the time.

DAMNgina · 18/06/2017 12:36

f you are prepared to cheat to obtain a post what will you do if you make a mistake or error. Will you use the same moral compass you used to obtain the post i.e. will you make people feel sorry for you and a cover up ensues

Of course she will - she's already emotionally manipulated one employee.

She's had the brass balls to go through with the plan - can you imagine being that deceitful face-to-face in an interview situation.

She'll be the first one to throw someone under the bus. She won't have a problem with it at all.

She'll be right on here to brag about it too.

grannytomine · 18/06/2017 12:38

Probably wasn't very fair but you would be making your friend look a fool if you backed out now.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/06/2017 12:39

RedBullBlood Please can you explain how a "previous thread" can be found when someone's changed their name for this one?

And Fuzzy are you going to answer my question about how you'd expect to handle things if this comes out and you're disciplined for it? After all, that's something I'd expect somebody " very very competent" in the practice of law/legislation to be able to address

WeAllHaveWings · 18/06/2017 12:39

It is because of this that I've been able to get an interview for every job I apply for.

Your CV (which could have been written by anyone) doesn't show you that is what the interview is for. Otherwise they would hire straight from CVs without interviews.

You presented at the interview a very different person from who you really are, you cheated to lie that you had more knowledge, experience and competence than you do.

It doesn't matter if you are certain you can do the job, of course you are deluded biased, the interview was there to find out who could do the job best and you will never know if you had presented yourself truthfully if you would have been successful.

Original poster
Fuzzywuzzy1 · 18/06/2017 12:41

The evidence would all be word of mouth. So not evidence at all.

There would need to be a lot more evidence than 'she said this'.

There would need to be email conversations for example. Something more concrete.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuzzywuzzy1 · 18/06/2017 12:43

I do agree it was cheating though. It's morally wrong. If I didn't think that I'd not have written the thread in the first place.

OP posts:
peachgreen · 18/06/2017 12:43

If you'd got the questions and known / been able to find out the answers yourself, I'd agree that you can do the job and just got some help with the interview as you find them hard. But you didn't. You were spoon-fed the answers which you've admitted you didn't know and wouldn't have known. You don't deserve the job.