YANBU
Keeping children up late when ether end up over-tire and ratty as well as hyped up and difficult to get to bed is not real parenting. It's even worse when it's done on a regular basis and then the parent responsible refuses to take any responsibility for it.
Some children can stay up late and be fine. They may sleep in the next day and adjust with no problems. Other kids need heir sleep more and don't sleep in. My children wake up at the crack of dawn, no matter what time they go to bed. One late night usually means a couple of days of over-tied hell. It's not worth it, unless it's a special occasion.
So while we have some flexibility with bedtime, I'd not be happy if my husband regularly kept the kids out past their bedtime on a Friday and I'd be fuming if he kept them out until 9:45. That's not because I'm controlling itsbecause I think about what's best for our kids.
You did not start a row with your husband, OP. He came in knowing he'd messed u and state a row with you. He was deflecting from the fact he'd messed up and you'd have every right to be cross about that.
The was shouting, so was angry. He then hit and pushed one of your children, while angry. That is never, ever acceptable.
The fact some people on here think it's okay to use violence on a child as long as it doesn't equate to gbh levels or cause any real physical pain or hurt is, quite frankly, utterly appalling. Such attitudes don't make you wrong.
If my husband ever laid a hand on me or my children, I'd react in a similar way to you, especially with the children. I'd go into mama bear/tigress mode and would be fiercely, fiercely protective. No one should ever lay a hand on a child in anger, ever.
It shouldn't matter what preceding the hit and the push, at all. That is utterly irrelevant. You could be the meanest, harshest wife ever. That doesn't ever excuse a man becoming physical with his child, ever. Physical violence against a child is never acceptable.
I hope you find a resolution this morning.