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AIBU?

Not to buy this house

139 replies

Lanaa · 16/06/2017 07:23

DP and I are searching for a new home. We plan to stay in the new house a while, have children etc. We live in a big city and are searching in the suburbs. I'm black, DP is white.

We had a viewing yesterday, we arrived in separate cars. DP got there before me. When I arrived he was talking to one of the neighbours. This neighbour has a flagpole in his front garden and a giant England flag/St George's cross flying from it. When I got out of my car he just stared at me with a furious look on his face. I smiled at him, said hello to DP and the bloke turned around walked off and slammed his door.

I don't know if I'm overreacting, jumping to conclusions etc but why else would he act like that other than being a racist? I get that people are patriotic but who has a flag in their front garden? There are no big sporting events on at the moment. DP likes the house and thinks we should go for it. It's under our budget, well decorated and spacious. If I hadn't had that experience I'd go for it, but I'm uneasy. I don't want to live next to the local branch of the EDL! AIBU?

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 16/06/2017 07:26

YANBU.

SleepFreeZone · 16/06/2017 07:27

Yep, he's a racist.

tissuesosoft · 16/06/2017 07:28

YANBU! Not in any way. If you don't feel comfortable just looking there, you wouldn't feel comfortable living there. I would mention it to the estate agent as well

peachgreen · 16/06/2017 07:29

YANBU. I'm white and I wouldn't buy a house next to someone flying a St George, tbh - completely understandable that you would prefer not to. I'm so sorry that people like that still exist though.

(You'll get lots of people coming on now saying that flying a St George doesn't mean you're racist but we all know that 90% of the time it does!)

Funnyface1 · 16/06/2017 07:30

It doesn't sound great, whether it's racism or not he was definitely rude. What a shame, I hope you find another nice house.

SPenfj · 16/06/2017 07:30

Sounds bad cos normal people would be all curious and wanting to say hello and know what u thought of house.
Can you afford to reject neifhbours?
Mine annoy me but i could never have foreseen that. Two elderly sisters.

peachgreen · 16/06/2017 07:31

Also I live in NI (where flags are so numerous it's like they're breeding) and before we went to see a house we always did a Google street view to check that there weren't any flags nearby!

SayNoToCarrots · 16/06/2017 07:32

He could end up really unpleasant. I would avoid.

reallyanotherone · 16/06/2017 07:35

Are you sure you didn't park across his drive or walk on his flowers or something?

You could do some research- ask the vendor about him. If you can get a name from the electoral roll you could check out his social media, facebook is pretty revealing, see if he's active politically.

But otherwise no, yanbu. Neighbours can make or break a house and living next door to a racist would be terrible.

emmyrose2000 · 16/06/2017 07:35

The flag aside, the rest of his actions showed he is definitely a racist.

Be thankful he showed his ugly side now before you had progressed any further with buying this house.

glitterglitters · 16/06/2017 07:36

I'd say go with your gut instinct. At the end of the day you have to be happy and comfortable living somewhere and if something doesn't sit right with you, there's probably a reason.

However I do have a neighbour with a St George's cross outside their door and they are (at least as far as I'm aware) not a massive racist. They also swap it for an American flag on Independence Day (American wife).

My dad also wanted one but my mum said no. My dad is far from racist. Just loves being English (and winding people up too apparently lol)

IrritatedUser1960 · 16/06/2017 07:36

He probably is rascist, my mum and Indian stepfather live next door to a similar flag flyer and they are a nightmare.
You can usually tell the just patriotic types from the rascist thug life types by the union jack wallpaper and pit bulls in the garden.

NavyandWhite · 16/06/2017 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadeForThis · 16/06/2017 07:45

It's highly likely he is racist. If he is so obvious about it he possibly has friends with the same opinions.

I wouldn't feel comfortable living next door to that.

What happens when he has parties and blasts music and gets drunk.

How safe would you feel if your husband was away for a few days.

There are more houses.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 16/06/2017 07:46

Course your dh wants the house, he's white and the new neighbour doesn't dislike him Confused.

I wouldn't, life is too short it knowingly move in beside a pig like that.

Plus people who have flags outside their home - enough said! Even if he hadn't slammed the door the flag alone would put me off

notanevilstepmother · 16/06/2017 07:50

Why would you? Why would your DHthink that is ok!!!

notanevilstepmother · 16/06/2017 07:50

Sorry DP I meant.

Collaborate · 16/06/2017 07:52

Life's too short to take on the challenge of living next to Adolf Hitler. YANBU.

Xmasbaby11 · 16/06/2017 07:54

My neighbour has an England flag up all the time. Not had any problems with the family. They seem pleasant.

SquinkiesRule · 16/06/2017 07:55

Don't do it.

Stanstan · 16/06/2017 07:56

When we were buying I went and spoke to the neighbours and near neighbours - I asked if one was racist (flagetc) and yup he was a loud member ovthe bnp. We didn't buy...

croydonista · 16/06/2017 08:00

Few miles south of Purley by any chance? Sounds like the road I'm on.

Catsize · 16/06/2017 08:03

We are a same-sexy couple and DP said we shouldn't buy a certain house as there was a flagpole with a Union Jack in the garden. I can understand your concern, definitely. The rebellious part of me says he shouldn't win, but you have to live with him.

NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown · 16/06/2017 08:04

I wouldn't buy there, especially not if you're planning to have children as I dread to think how he might treat them.
I know you could buy a house anywhere and fascist neighbours could move in afterwards, but I really wouldn't want to live somewhere I didn't feel welcome.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 16/06/2017 08:04

Lanaa, please disregard this house, listen to your inner voice.
The man is a racist, imagine being constantly uncomfortable in your own home, having beautiful babies, and him across the road.
You will find somewhere else that you like, just as much.
I am white, but I wouldn't live near him, myself.

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