Not to buy this house

[Lanaa]

DP and I are searching for a new home. We plan to stay in the new house a while, have children etc. We live in a big city and are searching in the suburbs. I'm black, DP is white.

We had a viewing yesterday, we arrived in separate cars. DP got there before me. When I arrived he was talking to one of the neighbours. This neighbour has a flagpole in his front garden and a giant England flag/St George's cross flying from it. When I got out of my car he just stared at me with a furious look on his face. I smiled at him, said hello to DP and the bloke turned around walked off and slammed his door.

I don't know if I'm overreacting, jumping to conclusions etc but why else would he act like that other than being a racist? I get that people are patriotic but who has a flag in their front garden? There are no big sporting events on at the moment. DP likes the house and thinks we should go for it. It's under our budget, well decorated and spacious. If I hadn't had that experience I'd go for it, but I'm uneasy. I don't want to live next to the local branch of the EDL! AIBU?

You can use 192.com to find out the names of your future neighbours, and other information. You can then look on social media to find out whether he is a right wing activist, or just a grumpy brexiteer with a flag in his garden and no manners.

Sounds like he is a miserable and incredibly rude bastard and I definitely wouldn't want to move right next door to someone like that. I have met men who were talking happily to dh and when I turn up they ignore me despite me trying to join in the convo. People can be weird. Yanbu.

RarelyInfallible- so, it's okay to be prejudiced against a Millwall supporter with short hair and tattoos but not against anyone else. Bit of a double standard from you.

RarelyInfallible- so, it's okay to be prejudiced against a Millwall supporter with short hair and tattoos but not against anyone else. Bit of a double standard from you.

Agree. And while i realise artistic licence is involved in retelling the story, i find the "and wife" descriptions pretty offensive too. Describing all the neigbouring men by name, and reducing the women to a male add on.

Like pp said- racism, and sexism, is so subtle like the above example, that you feel petty pulling people up on it, but when it happens at a constant low level it does accumulate.

Worth checking if he is someone with connections to any unpleasant group of people, racist or no racist. I would not wish to live next door to someone like the OP described.

And if you do discover anything or decide not to make an offer, do the courtesy of letting the estate agent know why. They may be a profession some of whom are awful, but they should know if it makes the house difficult to sell.

I wouldn't buy the house. Not only because the NDN clearly will always have an issue with you but also because I wouldn't want to live in a neighbourhood where people fly flags in their front garden (I'm not talking about flags being put up only when there is an event on).

My elderly father has a flagpole in his garden (keen sailor) and when we visit the favourite thing for the kids to do is put up and down the flag. It's a red ensign en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_ensign but if you're not a sailor you'd just think it was a British flag. Will everyone on his street think he's a racist?

I feel so sad after having read all these posts telling the OP not to buy the house.
If the neighbour is indeed racist this is giving way to him and allowing him to maintain his own little all-white enclave.
I can understand that reaction, but giving way to bullies only encourages them. This sort of behaviour needs to be stamped out.

I wouldn't buy it, I'm white British but wouldn't knowingly choose to live next door to a racist.

Flag flying isnt really a problem to be honest. I am Scottish and in neighbourhood flying Saltires my DP (who is black) and I would probably quite like it (we are indy supporters though).

However, if one of the neighbours did a 100% change in attitude upon seeing my DP I would not have thought of moving to that street. He was racist and its good you are looking elsewhere.

It's not the same in Scotland with the flags from what I've seen. Sadly the English flag has been hijacked by the racists and it isn't seen the same way

GladAllOver I understand what you are saying, but the reality of living next door to someone like this is that it would be unbearable because you can't come home and relax. Especially since OP is thinking of starting a family.

Fact that you experienced this now (before buying the house) means something, you should go with your gut feeling. Things happen for a reason. There are plenty of houses out there with nice non-narrow minded neighbours.

Maybe he hoped your partner was a gay single man?!