MIL Surprise, surprise

[AmberStClare]

DP is away from home on a course and have been enjoying this week on my own, slobbing out in the evening after work, eating supper in front of the TV and generally having a nice time.

Just got home from work and opened the front door, walked into the sitting room to find my MIL sitting on the sofa. Cries 'surprise surprise, got the key from your NDN, let myself in and have come to stay for a few days to keep you company whilst DP is away.'

Just rung DP and he is equally annoyed as is expected back Saturday and we were looking forward to the weekend catching up on each other's news and bit of frottage. All out of the window as MIL expects to be waited on hand and foot, in fact just said if I was putting the kettle on she would love a cup of tea, 'And a biscuit dear if there are any going.'

Who do I kill first, NDN for giving out the key without checking with me first (She has never met MIL before as we moved here recently) or MIL for presuming she can do this.

This is bonkers. Does she have fork for this kind of thing OP?

Does she have a DP at home?

Don't ever let your neighbour have the key back! I'd icily tell her she was very rude to just turn up like that. She should be embarrassed and apologetic, not crying because you don't let her stay. Don't give in! Make sure she never does this again. Tell her you're not free at all this weekend because you've made plans which she would have known had she bothered to ask.

MissHavishamsleftdaffodil: "It's a short step from rumpy pumpy to hun and menz and fam-a-lam and then I'm afraid we shall have to call the police."

This made me laugh a lot, even though I have no idea what fam-a-lam is.

I feel a bit sorry for her too. I don't know anyone in RL that would send her packing tonight tbh.

I don't know anyone in RL who would even consider travelling a two hour train journey, relying on getting keys from NDN and planning to stay over night in someone else's house. Even my besties wouldn't do that.

I feel a bit sorry for her, but i don't think you're in the wrong.

Fuck me. DFiance and his mum are crazy close (always been just the two of them, speak daily, etc) but she wouldn't pull this stunt in a month of Sundays. Boundaries?!

I'd be equally at your NDN, giving your key to someone she's never met?

famalam family/friends

She is still here, upstairs having a screaming jag now and supposedly packing. Need her to hurry up so I can drive her to B&B before indulging in drinks obviously unable to drive afterwards.

Oh and fwiw I love MIL. Maybe because she's not batshit.

ermmmm, maybe she was trying to be kind, to do you a favour? That's what I was thinking as I read it

.....and maybe she could have picked up the phone to discuss these plans ahead of time and not just turned up - if she can phone her son to moan about OP it would appear the use of a phone is not beyond her when it suits her.......

My guess is she didn't phone as she didn't want OP to say no to her visit and she thought if she just turned up OP would give in to her.....or...... she genuinely thought this would be a lovely surprise for OP, which is a bit of a worry as it clearly wasn't

Some boundaries and limit setting would appear to be in order here - manage her expectations so that she doesn't pull this nonsense again

I wouldn't care if my MIL travelled from the North Pole as a 'surprise', I'd be equally as annoyed OP. No one has the right to impose themselves in such a way. I'd have been very cross with the Ndn as well, a key to someone's house is not something to just give out!

She may well huff and puff for a while, but hopefully this will be a good lesson in manners - though goodness knows how she's got this far in life without knowing it's rude to just turn up at someone's house and expect to be hosted for a few days!

Go upstairs tell her to get a grip and she's got 5 mins to be in your car or she's paying for a taxi.

I am equally shocked at your neighbour giving your mother in law the key as I am you giving your neighbour a key in the first place if you are new to the area OP! Is this a thing? I live in a city and have lived in the same house for a while and don't know my neighbours well enough to entrust them with a key.

Nightmare. Well done kicking her out, OP. Ignore the crying and ask her to hurry up.

I'd have stern words with your neighbour; why on earth did they just give someone your key?

Stand you ground or this won't be a one off!!

She'd already unpacked !!! I can't believe the nerve of some people.

Stand tough! She can't just turn up and expect that you won't have made plans.

And what on earth was the neighbour thinking in giving out your key?

I'd turf her out too. How are you supposed to have a good time with your friend, with mil ensconced on the sofa?
It's bloody rude to just turn up at someone else's house and expect to stay. Tolerate it now and she will be pulling stunts like this forever more.

Tell dp if he'd like to come home right now and deal with her, he's more than welcome but you are off out with your mate. Bet he doesn't!

I've just googled 'screaming jag'

Just glad we had arranged to meet at mine, wanted to show off new house to friend. Imagining drinking elsewhere and rocking up home late tonight and walking in to find MIL in her nightie in my sitting room.

😂😂 I can't believe she took a two hour train journey, got your key from your NDN, let herself in and unpacked. All without asking you!
That's mental, who does things like that!
Why didn't it occur to her to phone you?

My brother's MIL once paid a surprise visit from Australia. To Yorkshire.

(Fortunately, she was rightly sure of her welcome!)

Sorry, as you were.

Eek!! Just make sure she doesn't come back in the morning after your friend has left. If she was planning to stay for a few days she might just do that. Does she live far away or is she local? (I'm assuming she's some way distant if you couldn't just pack her off back home). What a nerve ...

Don't drive her, call her a cab.

Personally I would suspect collusion on the part of DP.