MIL Surprise, surprise

[AmberStClare]

DP is away from home on a course and have been enjoying this week on my own, slobbing out in the evening after work, eating supper in front of the TV and generally having a nice time.

Just got home from work and opened the front door, walked into the sitting room to find my MIL sitting on the sofa. Cries 'surprise surprise, got the key from your NDN, let myself in and have come to stay for a few days to keep you company whilst DP is away.'

Just rung DP and he is equally annoyed as is expected back Saturday and we were looking forward to the weekend catching up on each other's news and bit of frottage. All out of the window as MIL expects to be waited on hand and foot, in fact just said if I was putting the kettle on she would love a cup of tea, 'And a biscuit dear if there are any going.'

Who do I kill first, NDN for giving out the key without checking with me first (She has never met MIL before as we moved here recently) or MIL for presuming she can do this.

How did she know that NDN had a key, which neighbour it was and that NDN would be home anyway? What would she have done if NDN was on holiday?

Yes she rings us up a lot as well. Don't mind that as I just give the phone to DP and let him chat to her. Is what she wants anyway and doesn't worry me, gives time for me to get on with other things.

Tell her to leave. Say she has no right to enter your home without consent and you and dp aren't happy and she needs to leave

Has she gone yet?

Nothing at all to add other than I may re-read "Forever Amber" this weekend.

I had a thread on here the other day about giving people your house keys.Nearly everybody on that thread gave multiple keys to people.

Your post now is the reason why nobody had a key to my house.

Quite, DP must have told her key situation. There will be words exchanged when he gets home!

My dad has a key to the house, but only ever comes here when we're out by arrangement. He wouldn't dream of coming in without us knowing.

Oh OP you have my sympathy. This is the problem with leaving a key with a NDN. My NDN keeps a spare key for me. I don't make a habit of locking myself out,in nearly 34 years I've only done it twice. But it caused major problems on the rare occasions it DID happen so I can't afford not to leave a spare one with her. BUT...she has been given strict instructions not to give it out to anyone,except my DD,who she knows. I wouldn't have put it past my exSIL to try to wrangle her way in so she could have a nose around. And when I went through a rather unpleasant break-up with an ex,I certainly didn't want HIM coming round and letting himself in on the pretext of picking up some belongings,then helping himself to stuff that wasn't his,or trashing he place, just to be spiteful. So I think you have to lay down the law to your NDN in future about who they can give the key to.

I love this thread
Amber I wish I had your balls

Suggest the B&B to dh too!! (few days to stew his bad move)

This would be my absolute worst nightmare. I really treasure the time I have in my house alone.

crunched I think you are right. Yes OPs mil is out of order coming without pre arranging but why are many posters so harsh and believing she is malevolent?
I suspect she thought she was being nice. Yes thoughtless but not horrible.
Life changes for all of us and one day some of the posters of here will find that their children aren't constantly in their lives any more. They may be lonely and want to do something similar. Hopefully they won't rock up unannounced but will then judge this mil more kindly

What is she going to do anyway, a B&B or get the train home again? I just can't understand her thinking. I'm really close to my MIL, I consider her a friend - I'd still be aghast if she was just in my living room when I got in from work announcing we were having a sleepover!

Terrible behaviour from your MIL. Does she have form for it ?
Book her a taxi now or she will impose on you for ever.

Can't you welcome her this time and have a nice time with her and your friend? I can't imagine kicking a family member out either. Somehow, marriage doesn't really work like that... Generosity of spirit is a great quality

All you lot - is this really what life should be all about?

What did the NDN say when you asked for your key back (apart from how nice your MIL seemed)? Did she have any inkling that giving the key to a stranger was the wrong thing to do?

Aghast at both of these women!

Can't you welcome her this time and have a nice time with her and your friend?

Thing is, if OP does this, there'll be a next time, a next time and another time.

Maybe offer to introduce her to ndn? Maybe she has a spare room?

This would be my absolute worst nightmare. I really treasure the time I have in my house alone.

Me too Chased. I'd be mortified and quite extremely angry to find myself in Amber's position.

You're a champ Amber - I thoroughly admire the fact that you have zero fucks to give while sending your Mil on her way!

I like my MIL but I would be horrified by this! In fact, I love my own Mum but would not be thrilled at a surprise visit mid week without so much as a do you mind.

I get that, but it's possible - and desirable - to be kind. The MIL will see she's come at an awkward time and possibly ask next time. If not, it can always be mentioned nicely afterwards.

I really don't think any of the harsher attitudes are ok and I think people let themselves down.