To be very worried about this behaviour?

[poopsqueak]

I am worried about my daughters behavioural changes over the past month.

She is 5 and bright and loud to begin with. We have a very stable family life although we have seen some 'big' events over the past month (bridesmaid duty, family holiday, very ill Grandma)

Over the past month we have seen an alarming switch to 'manic and aggressive' with intrusive thoughts.

Manic meaning fidgeting constantly, running everywhere, talking nonsense, not listening or trailing off in the middle of sentences and beginning a new conversation, unable to sleep, impulsive behaviour (stealing food from others plates).

Aggressive being shouting, swearing (in the 'child' sense, think 'shut up' 'stupid. 'hate you!') being violent to myself and her father, going from 0-100 (in terms of calm to raging) and not being able to calm down once she is up a height. She has also kicked the cat in her rage. We have told her we will get rid of him if we even think she might do that again, for his safety.

Intrusive thoughts are mostly about private parts (I'll spare you the details) but essentially the growing realisation that everyone has them, and that she wants to look at everyones all the time. Or saying that she is 'thinking about private parts' all the time. Shes also making up horrible songs/rhymes in her head (and telling us, in guilt) that she can't get out. Shes asking us constantly if we are going to 'tell on her' for every little infraction and believes the police/school are going to get her if she does anything wrong.

The worst ones are the things she has come out with such as 'I want to punch someone to death with my hands' and thinking the recent fire in london was 'really funny'.... I honestly dont know what to do. i think I am going to book an appointment with the GP for a chat as its (her behaviour) has changed so much in such a short period of time.

Has anyone had any experience of this before?
What would you advise?

Sorry for your loss OP

And I'm so pleased that school are being so supportive in this. I really hope your DD can get the help she deserves to get her through this.

I'm sorry for your loss poopsqueak. I hope your little girl is ok, it sounds as though the school are doing a good job supporting her.

I'm really sorry for your loss poop

It sounds like the school are being amazingly supportive and informative

OP I am so sorry for your loss.

I hope you will be able to help you dd and hope things will work out OK.

for you and your family. Sending lots of love to you allxxx

You don't need to apologise for the loss (although very kind) as in a way I am glad it has happened because she was so ill.

Just wanted to send for you and your family for the tough time you've been having, and hoping things continue to steady.

I just thought I'd update this - even though it's a few months on.

Firstly, never did hear back from The Independent or NSPCC about might complaints. Which is annoying.

The doctor stayed in touch with me until last month, having phone appointments every 2 weeks. She was incredibly supportive and kind and offered to refer to CAMHS at any point that I wanted to. Turns out I didn't take her up on that offer anyway.

The school dealt with it in a completely brilliant way and I am so grateful for her class teacher (the sub who hadnt even known her particularly well as her teacher had broke her toe) and the school counsellor.

The school had her a regular appointment with the counsellor set up within 2 days - the head teacher came looking for me at drop off one day and asked me discretely if we would like to take up a slot. My daughter saw the counsellor at 2pm and myself and my partner had an intro session with her an hour before that. Obviously all conversations between her and the counsellor are private but the counsellor asked us to describe the situation and the events preceding it.

After a few weeks she called us back (day of the funeral) and told us that while she couldnt go into specifics she didnt think that our daughter had a mental illness per se, but was responding to stress in a very obvious way. she said it was good that it was coming out instead of in, and gave us some tips and tricks and explained the psychology of a tantrum (I.E we can't really stop it as she is in fight or flight and that we should just try to comfort and now discipline for the moment).

After the funeral (which she didn't attend) her mood slowly climbed down and down and down and she is pretty much back to normal. We noticed tantrums not being daily at first, nightmares becoming less frequent, intrusive thoughts tailing off, focus on private parts lessen. She is still however talking about death at every opportunity. She draws pictures of angels, has a book where she writes to her GG, keeps talismans (little rocks etc) that she says reminds her of her Great Grandma etc.

When we sold her Great Grandmas house (which was very sudden, went on the market one day sold the same day and the purchasers were not in a chain) we all had a party at her house for the family as we have all basically grew up there. She found that quite hard and wanted to take everything home with her. However she has a few things in her room of her great grandmas now and she is very settled. Her counsellor has asked to continue seeing her this year so there must be something she wants to keep an eye on. She is enjoying year one and her friends in her class. Most of all she has her focus and her warmth back. Its lovely.

Thanks so much for the update. I'm so glad everything's worked out so well. It's frightening how stress can manifest itself.

I'm really shocked that the Independent published that. I've noticed recently they were doing the usual lazy Daily Mail thing of using our threads, but to use this one was really shocking. What bastards they are to not even reply to you.

Oh I’m so pleased to hear your update OP!

I didn't see your original posts but that must have been horrendous for you. I'm so pleased to hear that things are getting back to normal and that you had the help you needed.

So glad your daughter is better, I've just read the entire thread with great interest as my 8 year old is having terrible compulsions and her behaviour is erratic and she has terrible outbursts if she can't complete her routines. We are on CAHMS list for ASD assessment, she also struggles to make eye contact and my eldest child is autistic BUT the Panda thing is interesting. She has had a rash on her upper inner thigh just before the onset of the manic compulsive behaviour. Now off to do some research.

What was it that calmed your daughter down OP?

I'm so glad things are going so much better for you and your DD. Intrusive thoughts can be so sodding horrible to deal with and I really really sympathise. It took me years (ie childhood well into adulthood) to realise that just because I was having horrible thoughts does not make me a horrible or dangerous person. If this ever comes back to your DD, and I hope it never does, reassure her that she's not a bad person for having unpleasant thoughts. for you both

PS - the Independent is an utter cunt for what it has done and I will not be reading them again.

PPS - you might get more traction in getting the article pulled and/or making the point that this sort of shit journalism is not on, if you contact the author - she's on twitter. I would ask her myself what the fuck she thought she was playing at, but sadly I'm not on twitter.

So glad to hear she is doing better
Disgusting of the papers to do that to you, cannot believe the nspcc and independent didnt get back to you!!

It took me a while to realise that the start of this thread was old and jump to the end to see the update.

I work with abused and traumatised children and I was getting really angry at the all the batshit crazy people on this thread making batshit crazy allegations of abuse by making 2+2=13.

I'm glad you had some real help from school and have managed to help dd.

Oh wow. I've just seen that from the independent and nspcc. Incredible.

I already had quite a dislike of the nspcc.

Glad things have settled down for your DD.

OP - if you want to take your complaint further then write to IPSO.

Thank you so much for updating.

I'm so pleased that things have calmed down for all of you.

OP, thank you so much for updating. I am so pleased that things are better for your little one and your family.

I hadn't considered the IPSO. i will do that today. Thanks everyone!