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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 7.30 is late enough?

152 replies

EssieTregowan · 15/06/2017 07:47

It's all kicking off in my street. Shock

There's a terrace of five houses, all families with kids of varying ages, and a small block of flats next to it which is mainly couples. The rest of the estate is detached houses.

All the terrace kids play out the front. And now the evenings are lighter lots of them don't come in until 9pm or later. And they are LOUD. Bikes, water pistols, balls, shrieking etc.

One of the mums has complained on our estate FB page and asked nicely that the kids are brought in at 7.30 as she is struggling with hers at bedtime when they can hear the others playing out. The flats residents are backing her up and the other mums are getting shirty and defensive. Insults are flying.

I'm staying out of it (I live down the other end and although I can hear them it doesn't disturb my kids) but I think that actually she's quite right and it's really antisocial.

The loud kids mum's are now saying if it's a problem they should complain to the HA. It's now come to light that they all had a letter last summer from the HA saying that if it didn't improve they'd enforce a curfew.

I'm sort of watching from the sidelines with my jaw open. My kids don't play out as we have a big garden, but I get them indoors by 7.30 if they are being loud as our neighbours at the back have younger children.

It's just common courtesy, isn't it? I'm a bit surprised tbh as they're usually all very neighbourly.

Anyway, what do you all think? How late is too late to be out playing loudly on a school night?

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 15/06/2017 14:14

Yabu - it's quite early! 9 or 10 is a different matter.

Pollyanna · 15/06/2017 14:16

I have older children playing outside my house every evening at the moment. They've all got bikes and it's quite annoying.

When I was young, my mum was that neighbour that went out and asked all the kids to play elsewhere. And she complained to the parents. She was known (apparently) as The Witch by everyone else on our street Grin

EdmundCleverClogs · 15/06/2017 14:20

Why is it less likely to happen at 2pm?

Because currently children are at school at that time. During the holidays, many children aren't at home every day - usually at clubs, childminders, on holidays etc. I may be wrong of course, but as someone who used to work early mornings and currently a sahp, I've personally noticed most child-related noise is between 4pm to 9-10pm.

of course. The specifics matter.

That's my point. The 'specifics' of the opening posts are that several people have complained regarding noise that includes screaming and ball games. Yet people have jumped in with the usual rhetoric of 'kids being kids' and 'miserable neighbour's' for not putting up with it. Barely anyone has agreed that 7.30pm is an ok time to make the kids go indoors, but that doesn't take away from the fact that there actually does seem to be a noise issue on this street.

drinkingtea · 15/06/2017 14:30

I love the sound of kids playing out. Mine go to bed quite early because they need to sleep, even the older ones (I can't quite understand how some kids function on the amount they must get) but my children's bedtime is nobody else's problem. In summer there are kids out playing after I've called mine in and sent them to bath and shower, but I don't get to police other people's bedtimes to suit me!

I go to bed early for an adult because I start work early, but I don't ask my adult neighbors to go inside at 9pm to suit me either.

I agree there must be more to the type of noise than normal children's play to make it a problem - Motocross bikes with engines? We had one kid with one of those locally and that was a menace to everyone's safety and a totally different level of noise. Or a lot of screaming and bad language would obviously be unreasonable. Just playing outside is nobody else's business to set limits on beyond the 11pm-7am type quiet time expected of all ages.

Eliza9917 · 15/06/2017 16:27

They also have issues with scooters and bikes being left out meaning people have to move them out of the way of their cars to get out in the morning.

I'd run them over (the bikes etc, not the children, although....), the parents/kids would soon learn to clear up at the end of the evening lololol

user1485342611 · 15/06/2017 16:31

Yes, leaving stuff lying around the place is not on. Apart from anything else, children shouldn't be so careless with scooters and bikes, which don't come cheap,

FrancisCrawford · 15/06/2017 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paxillin · 15/06/2017 17:09

I wonder if the curfew is meant as a sort of "punishment" rather than a solution, since the scooters and the afternoon shouting won't be solved by it.

Of course the complainant and the HA do not get to dole out punishments to other people's kids, being neither their parent nor a judge.

yamadori · 15/06/2017 18:56

I quite like the sound of children talking and laughing while playing. What I don't like is full-volume constant shouting, shrieking and screaming - it does my bloody head in.

They need to learn some consideration for other people. In the meantime, I go out there and tell them to stop shouting.

reuset · 15/06/2017 22:41

Can housing associations really impose curfews? I suspect this may have been answered but I can't spot it.

reuset · 15/06/2017 22:43

7.30 is ridiculously early, just agreeing with the majority here

AmysTiara · 15/06/2017 22:48

The light nights don't last that long so I think it's fine for kids to be outside. 9pm is reasonable.

Just because someone's kids are moaning doesn't mean the rest of the street has to go inside too.

bonbonours · 16/06/2017 00:03

Being noisy outside other people's houses in the evening is anti-social and it is not unreasonable to expect parents to bring their kids in, tell them to go in their own garden, or at least tell them to play more quietly.

We live in a tiny road but one family are always out making loads of noise in the evening when my kids are already in bed. It irritates the hell out of me. I would never tell them when to put their kids to bed, but I do think there is such a thing as common courtesy. I would think the same if adults were playing loud music in the street every evening (not like a one-off party)

7.30 is not only a time when the majority of small children will be in bed, it is also a time when adults might be sitting down for dinner/to watch telly/relax so it is not a time for yelling and shouting.

bonbonours · 16/06/2017 00:09

And 7.30 is not 'ridiculously early' for school children to be inside on a school night. My oldest is 10 and goes to bed about 9 pm. But 7.30 on a school night would be a time for winding down, reading, finishing homework, even watching a bit of telly. Not running around yelling.

As someone else said if they are old enough to be out that late they are old enough to consider people around them.

kali110 · 16/06/2017 00:17

Nope not unreasonable at all. Shouting and screaming isn't on.
If they're threatening to impose a curfew how bad has it been??

melj1213 · 16/06/2017 01:18

I'm really surprised at the amount of people that think that 7:30 is early for kids to be in at the moment! Perhaps at the weekend or school holidays you'd expect kids to be out later, but for a midweek school night I don't think it's too early to be asking kids to be in at around 7:30.

I'm not saying all the kids should be tucked up and fast asleep at 7:30, but by 7:30 my DD8 is either coming home from extra-curricular activities, eating dinner, doing her homework or in the bath ready for some wind down time before bed. She is allowed to play out in the back street with the other kids after school but generally once she's been called in for tea at about 6:30 on a school night, she doesn't tend to go out again except at weekends when she is allowed to go to her friends' houses or play out later because she doesn't have to be up for school the following morning.

Any older kids who are out later than that don't tend to be the ones who are screaming/shouting and causing huge amounts of noise.

user1497403588 · 16/06/2017 03:31

7.30 is so early! especially in summer, when i was a kid my mum was like this, i had to be in really really early even when it was bright for hours! if i wasn't id be in huge trouble.

user1497403588 · 16/06/2017 03:32

The winter of course kids should be well inside at 7.30 (when its dark early) but the longer evenings are FOR playing out!! Grin

Natsku · 16/06/2017 07:27

It doesn't get dark until about midnight where I live (sunset is at 23:14 today) and its the summer holidays - no way in hell I'd expect DD to be in before 9 at the moment, its just too nice outside for that. But the children don't play on the street in my area except to ride bikes as its all detached houses with big gardens so apart from shrieking from trampolines there isn't really much noise from children playing at all unless they're in your garden.

elevenclips · 16/06/2017 09:11

The time 7:30 vs 9:00 is a red herring. Completely irrelevant.

What is relevant is that there is antisocial behaviour going on. Screaming and excessive noise isn't OK at either time. I don't think these children playing out is "heathy" - I think it's teaching them that they can do whatever they want, wherever they want, disturb whoever they want with no consequences and the adults involved don't care. A reasonable person would be embarrassed that their child was disturbing the whole street with their antisocial behaviour at any time.

The complaint could also go to the council - ours has a section for antisocial behaviour and this definitely would be investigated. It could be recorded on a phone and given to the council.

Karen9780 · 16/06/2017 14:59

Ours go to bed at differing times based on age. I think past 9 and creating noise is probably a bit much

etguar · 16/06/2017 17:31

And this is why I will never ever ever ever ever live on an estate

having kiddie bikes left on my drive would drive me livid and I would be tempted to just reverse over them by accident. But then I suppose the kiddie would end up with its pic in the local rag doing a Daily Fail sad face.

trufflecake · 17/06/2017 08:03

I'm with elevenclips

We had no choice but to move to where we are and sadly it is a cul de sac with often screaming, yelping, whooping kids - one family more than the others.

I'm very happy to see kids being outside but the trouble is they end up outside my house more than their own, and ofetn being very loud. Hardly ever in their own gardens it seems. And the echoing is a nightmare. Their noise is louder than our own tv or even the occasional remark to each other in a different room.

Becasue of the layout we are somewhat surrounded and never know which windows to close. Even with them shut it is often really loud. And the house DOES get stifling - up to 27 degrees last week because of getting the sun all day.. I'm all for ripping the insullation out of the roof!

Neither of us are well and the noise goes on regularly up to 9pm, pretty often up to 10pm even which disturbs us. And the randomness of the children coming in and out shreiking after 8 just when you hope it has gone quiet is very stressful and it has really got to us. Other neighbours feel the same but it is awkward to say anything as some parents can be very defensive and entitled and you just dont know what reaction we'll get.

It is a bit more galling because there are so many nearby playgrounds that we rarely see used, and yet they are all out on their scooters under our windows going round and round. Plus there is open space nearby...

It is lovely to hear and see the children play normally and hear the funny things they say to each other, but the scooting and shrieking and general shouting ot each other or anyone, (or no one!) is just too much. It IS antisocial when it is the majority of the time not the minority.

If I could move to the middle of nowhere I would but I can;t!

I just wish there was more guidance from the parents to keep the noise down as the evening draws on as it is really miserable and we dont want to feel like miseries.

OhGood · 17/06/2017 09:56

The kids all play out round us, and the noise does drive me completely bats.

But I have found for some reason that when my own 2 are joining in with the gang, the noise is far less annoying...

PersianCatLady · 17/06/2017 10:44

By the way, how can the management company enforce so many rules on owner-occupiers? No work vans? No satellite dishes? I am not allowed a satellite dish on a house I OWN? Oh fuck off
Check the restrictive covenants in the deeds for your house.

You will be shocked at what exactly you agreed to when you bought the property.