To think 7.30 is late enough?

[EssieTregowan]

It's all kicking off in my street.

There's a terrace of five houses, all families with kids of varying ages, and a small block of flats next to it which is mainly couples. The rest of the estate is detached houses.

All the terrace kids play out the front. And now the evenings are lighter lots of them don't come in until 9pm or later. And they are LOUD. Bikes, water pistols, balls, shrieking etc.

One of the mums has complained on our estate FB page and asked nicely that the kids are brought in at 7.30 as she is struggling with hers at bedtime when they can hear the others playing out. The flats residents are backing her up and the other mums are getting shirty and defensive. Insults are flying.

I'm staying out of it (I live down the other end and although I can hear them it doesn't disturb my kids) but I think that actually she's quite right and it's really antisocial.

The loud kids mum's are now saying if it's a problem they should complain to the HA. It's now come to light that they all had a letter last summer from the HA saying that if it didn't improve they'd enforce a curfew.

I'm sort of watching from the sidelines with my jaw open. My kids don't play out as we have a big garden, but I get them indoors by 7.30 if they are being loud as our neighbours at the back have younger children.

It's just common courtesy, isn't it? I'm a bit surprised tbh as they're usually all very neighbourly.

Anyway, what do you all think? How late is too late to be out playing loudly on a school night?

Also, why should people have to try and sleep in stifling bedrooms with no air on a hot night because of a handful of inconsiderate parents?

i live in the hottest part of the country. It hasn't been that hot.

we aren't talking about noise at 11pm.

I live in central London and walk by flats on high streets all the time with what I would consider an intolerable amount of noise (Camden, Shoreditch, Bloomsbury etc etc). if you live there and expect to have evening quiet at 8pm with the windows open, let me tell you just aren't going to get it, and I imagine any amount of complaining about loud, though standard noise, will get you nowhere.

ditto if you live beside a green.

Closing windows equals warm/hot houses. How is that fair?

if closing windows for an hour or two raises the temperature that much, you have a heating issue.

The op specifically mentioned that screaming and playing ball games are some of the issues here, so the Ines complaining aren't being unreasonable, are they?

screaming. Meh. is it just yelling or playing, or screaming? If it is screaming, fair enough.

ball games? are they banging it against your house? is there potential for windows to be broken?

Chilli. I was talking about noise at 10 or 11 pm and you dismissed it because I chose to live beside a Green.

10 or 11 is late. Then you have a point as it is getting dark then and you can reasonably expect kids not to play then.

7:30 is way early.

chilipepper20 when people say 'screaming', that's what they usually mean. Ball games - in my case the kids don't care where they kick it. Bangs against cars, windows, doors, kick it over roofs then break into gardens to get it back, completely unacceptable behaviour.

As for the window closing, I personally don't live in a huge house. Closing windows for an hour or two makes an already warm room much muggier. Why? Because instead of telling their kids that after about 7.30/8pm they should start thinking about the neighbours and playing quieter games, you get parents who argue the toss about 'kids being kids' and 'should just accept noise' if you dare live anywhere but your own private island.

At least they go outside little shits in my block play football in the flat above and scream and wail until gone midnight. I'm just about ready to go up there with a hatchet.

I have a toddler that goes to bed around that time and I have to agree with the mum complaining about the noise. I wouldn't say 7.30 is ridiculously early at all. One night I had neighbours young children playing out side my house until gone 9pm I couldn't put dc to bed cos they were so noisy, which mucked up his routine!

If your child is ready for sleep and they are tired for bed, they will sleep. If you are enforcing a bedtime in a draconian way in order to have peace for yourself and drink wine, then that is your watch out. i.e. tough shit. I have a baby and a five year old, I would not expect everyone to be silent because they go to bed earlier. However, nor would I expect more than the very occasional loud noise, because I would be expecting parents to regulate every so often.

I think you have to expect noise in summer tbh. Children playing out, people mowing their lawns, people playing music in their garden whilst having a BBQ etc.

Again, from my point of view it's not about general noise. It's about excessive noise that disturbs others enjoyment of their evenings.

Kids playing- absolutely fine
Kids screaming and banging around - not fine.

My neighbours having the radio on, a window open and generally chat/clatter of making dinner- not a problem at all
My neighbours playing their music through loud, heavy bass speakers whilst screaming at each other over the music - not ok.

It really doesn't matter who's making the noise, if it's disturbing others, with several people mentioning it, then there's obviously an issue. There's another thread here - about the garden party invite - where some posters can't believe some just don't want to get to know their neighbours/have a sense of community spirit. It's no surprise reading this thread, seeing some people will not compromise with neighbours over such a simple request as playing quieter games after a certain time because apparently children can do as they please just for the fact they're young.

The key is the difference between playing and shouting and screaming.
Playing = fine
Screaming constantly = no

I wouldn't think 7.30 is ridiculously early on a school night, even in summer.

We all played out in the street when I was a kid, but we weren't allowed to make a racket and annoy the neighbours, whatever time of day it was.

If anybody was yelling or screaming, then they'd get a reminder of 'the boy who cried "Wolf!" story.

YANBU AT ALL. i told my neighbours kids to shut it last night cus im sick of them. For some reason they come out in the evening and are very loud - if you open your windows they may as well be sitting next to you! Drives me fukin mad! I didnt say they cant play just shut up. I dont want to hear them. My kids 4 & 6 are trying to sleep and quite frankly they should use their back garden not the public road where cars are parked or my driveway alongside my brand new car! Better still they should be having a bath and getting ready for bed. Winding down. They too are young. Play when you get in from school! Ffs!! I hate the shouting and scooters and thudding ball!!! All in all are a nuiscance as the elder 1 thought it was ok to throw his leftover lunch in my garden. Dh said leave it so i went marching straight over to be met by a "no english" wtaf!!! Get to bed at a normal time and stop disturbing everyone or go to the park across the road!

It's not something you can control I guess.

It really is - if I'd had a neighbour complain about me or my siblings making excessive noise in the evenings, I would have been made to apologise and have been grounded for an evening. It wasn't that long ago that I was a child, I do remember it being very embarrassing for parents if their kids were pulled up on things like this.

Don't get me wrong, there's always a couple of neighbours who are just grumpy gits, and no one can do right. You tend to figure them out quite quickly though, as they're the ones that complain about everything. Had neighbours like that, their child was a teen, so everyone who had younger children usually got a mouthful. These were a couple in their 40s as well, not 'baby boomers'. We used to see her send her husband out, and we'd giggle 'who's getting it now' as he went round to another neighbour's house to moan about children playing perfectly normally at 3.30pm. There are certainly people who just moan for the sake of it, but I think if it's more than a couple of people getting irritated, perhaps it's time to listen to them.

when people say 'screaming', that's what they usually mean. Ball games - in my case the kids don't care where they kick it. Bangs against cars, windows, doors, kick it over roofs then break into gardens to get it back, completely unacceptable behaviour.

then that's not about time. That's unacceptable at 2pm. my contention is more about this point of yours.

It's about excessive noise that disturbs others enjoyment of their evenings.

that's highly subjective and some people can be ridiculously precious about their enjoyment, and completely unreasonable.

"It's about excessive noise that disturbs others enjoyment of their evenings.

that's highly subjective and some people can be ridiculously precious about their enjoyment, and completely unreasonable."

Some parents can also be ridiculously precious and unreasonable about the "rights" of their kids to scream at the top of their lungs for hours. Everyones view is subjective.

We get up at 8am. Short school run, work locally, big city. Perhaps I ought to demand a curfew before 8:30am. All those pesky cars and loads of people going on busses, using the vacuum cleaner and showering. Totally anti-social. I won't do that of course, because it is daft to demand the world organises around my schedule. But someone demanding silence a full 2 hours before my kids' bedtime and 6 hours before mine would have to adhere to my bedtime, too.

then that's not about time. That's unacceptable at 2pm.

It's is unacceptable at 2pm as well. However, it's less likely to happen at that time, and more importantly kids being noisy is far less acceptable later in the evening as this is when some people are having down time/spending time with family after being at work all day.

some people can be ridiculously precious about their enjoyment, and completely unreasonable

A handful of people can be 'precious', however the op mentions several people complaining and possibly more just biting their tongue (as the op herself has done). It comes down to - if many separate people are complaining, perhaps it's not them actually being 'precious', perhaps it's indicative of an actual issue.

Summer holidays are fine.

But I used to hate it when my neighbour had her daughter (same age as my son) on her trampoline at 8.30/9pm during term time when I was trying to convince him it was bedtime (aged 6!)

One of the mums has complained on our estate FB page and asked nicely that the kids are brought in at 7.30 as she is struggling with hers at bedtime when they can hear the others playing out

So its just the general noise of children playing then she has an issue? And shes trying to dictate to everyone else to keep their children in? Now that is entitled!

However, it's less likely to happen at that time, and more importantly kids being noisy is far less acceptable later in the evening as this is when some people are having down time/spending time with family after being at work all day.

Why is it less likely to happen at 2pm?

I feel like the goalposts are moving. Your first description was about property damage - obviously bad. Now it's mainly about noise and time. That's where I am not sympathetic, because, as I said, that is subjective and my experience says the complaints are unwarranted.

In my case it is mainly two people complaining: one retired, one unemployed. The unemployed comment is not to say that unemployed people don't have the right to normal noise level, but the complaints here are NOT from people coming home from work trying to wind down. in fact, it is the opposite.

is the noise so bad in your house that you can't converse? or can you merely hear it? it makes a difference, and the former would be so loud everyone would be complaining. In my case it's a tiny vocal minority making all the complaints.

if many separate people are complaining, perhaps it's not them actually being 'precious', perhaps it's indicative of an actual issue.

of course. The specifics matter.