To think 7.30 is late enough?

[EssieTregowan]

It's all kicking off in my street.

There's a terrace of five houses, all families with kids of varying ages, and a small block of flats next to it which is mainly couples. The rest of the estate is detached houses.

All the terrace kids play out the front. And now the evenings are lighter lots of them don't come in until 9pm or later. And they are LOUD. Bikes, water pistols, balls, shrieking etc.

One of the mums has complained on our estate FB page and asked nicely that the kids are brought in at 7.30 as she is struggling with hers at bedtime when they can hear the others playing out. The flats residents are backing her up and the other mums are getting shirty and defensive. Insults are flying.

I'm staying out of it (I live down the other end and although I can hear them it doesn't disturb my kids) but I think that actually she's quite right and it's really antisocial.

The loud kids mum's are now saying if it's a problem they should complain to the HA. It's now come to light that they all had a letter last summer from the HA saying that if it didn't improve they'd enforce a curfew.

I'm sort of watching from the sidelines with my jaw open. My kids don't play out as we have a big garden, but I get them indoors by 7.30 if they are being loud as our neighbours at the back have younger children.

It's just common courtesy, isn't it? I'm a bit surprised tbh as they're usually all very neighbourly.

Anyway, what do you all think? How late is too late to be out playing loudly on a school night?

Elsie I'm sure it is but you said she'd asked nicely that the kids are brought in at 7.30

Not asked that they quieten down a bit...even that's a bit precious. Kids have to learn that they don't always get the same as others.

Agree it is the noise that is the problem - there is no need for screaming whatever time of day x

Unreasonable to expect other people to impose a curfew because of your DC's bedtime. A polite request for reduced noise levels is just about reasonable at a push.

I've lived on this street all my life, and i honestly don't remember ever having a bed time. We played out every day after school and at weekends, if it was raining we'd sit on the doorstep/in the hallway and play a board game. I had a falling out with the other kids just before the summer holidays when i moved from primary to secondary so i was 11, but i remember before that in my primary years often staying out til it got dark and the street lights came on. We'd be on our bikes doing laps of the street or on rollerblades or playing ballgames. It's only now i'm the one in the house with the current set of kids playing outside i realise how noisy we actually must have been. Still, noise of playing games is pretty tolerable, its when they start screaming or balls are hitting your car or windows it goes beyond tolerable. That said, i would never expect them to come in at 7:30, especially during school holidays. If the HA do impose a curfew thats way heavy handed and out of order.

1930 is obviously too early and I think it would be unfair to try and instigate a curfew. BUT what I totally don't get is the assertion that kids somehow need to be loud in order to have fun. We live on a cul de sac with loads of kids who play out, which is great - they very rarely disturb us as they're not screaming and shouting. You're never too young to learn basic courtesy for your neighbours and their parents should be taking this opportunity to teach them this, rather than getting automatically defensive about their 'rights'. They can stay out but if they start making a racket then they have to come in - it's simple.

7.30 is a bit early I think. The unofficial curfew here is about 8.30 but we all enforce quieter play from about 7 onwards. It's definitely annoying for those with younger children. Mine had to suck up early bedtime as younger children but enjoy the freedom now.

It's a very short time of year so I think that those in your neighbourhood should try to be flexible. We all moan about children spending too much time on screens, which might be the alternative for some of the kids in your street.

No excuse for leaving the scooters out and adults shouting though.

Nobody gets to decide what time other people's children have to go inside. Summer evenings are longer and noisier, The kids can be reminded not to scream loudly, but other than that 9pm is fine. I can't see what the HA is proposing to do to enforce a curfew anyway, they rightly don't have police powers.

Moaning about bed time when other kids are out is an age-old phenomenon. If she insists on an early bed time, she has to take her kids' moans rather than impose her parenting on the whole estate.

shouting and screaming is unnecessary at any time. Kids can play without being a nuisance. They are never quiet, fair enough, but there is a limit of what is reasonable. It would drive me mad too, and my kids don't go to bed that early, but they are not behaving like wild animals.

The HA will enforce a curfew??

Did I read that right? How the hell would that be legal?

The problem I think is that these days parents don't teach their kids to respect others. The kids should be told that screaming at that time of night is unacceptable and given a chance to improve their behaviour.
Putting a curfew on the kids is ridiculous, surely just teach them to play in a more socially acceptable way.

*some parents. Not all obvs

Poor kids. There's little enough opportunity to enjoy playing outside for much of the year- let them be.

I don't know if it was an actual curfew tbh, I think the letter last year said that they would take action if it didn't stop. It's a new estate with loads of rules, even for owner occupiers. No work vans, visible satellite dishes, parking permanently in visitor spaces. The management company love a sternly worded letter

The kids in my street are outside until 10pm some nights, shrieking like banshees. Then their parents come out and bellow up the street to get them home.

It's fucking grim. I'd give anything for some peace after 7.30pm.

The management company love a sternly worded letter

That's good, they would receive several sternly worded letters if they tried to curtail civil liberties by enforcing curfews I imagine .

Management companies surely do not have that kind of authority!!

I've no idea how they'd actually enforce any of it tbh.

7.30 is far too early for older children to need to be in on a hot summer's day.

If there is excessive noise, then it's reasonable to go out and politely ask the children to keep it down a bit as other children are trying to sleep. General playing noise such as chattering, the odd shout, bike or ball noises is to be expected when living with other people as part of a community, and just needs to be tolerated.

The younger children who are going to bed still hearing others outside will have their turn to play out later when they are older.

I am curious as to whether the parents that are belly aching now about their precious snowflakes getting kept awake by kids will be told they must come in to at 7.30 on a lovely summers evening, when they are older.......will they heck!! The parents will tell them to go play . This is ridiculous. Its summer. they have to stay indoor for most of the time between mid September and mid March. Give them a bloody break. tell your neighbors that a great way to not be affected by noise upsetting their snowflakes is to move to a cottage in the middle of nowhere! you can not, CAN NOT move to an estate that is designed for families and community living and then moan about the children playing

One of my most clear memories as a child is the horror of going to bed early in summer while hearing other older kids still out and having fun. It used to kill me.

Mum used to say. Yes they are older. They are allowed out. Feel happy for them. Go to sleep. You can play again tomorrow. In a few years that can be you.

When I got to that age I used to look at the younger kids and feel proud about how grown up I was that I was still out.

It's all about learning how to deal with your frustration. A key skill that kids have to learn to be nonnentitled and well rounded adults and not one that seems to be taught much these days.

I think 7.30pm is a bit early for this time of year. Next door's toddler was on her trampoline shrieking her head off at 9.45 last night. That was a bit wearing - especially as I'd been listening to it all day.

No issue with her playing out but it feels like a real lack of consideration from the neighbour, that he doesn't stop to think that it might be nice if the people living round him could enjoy some peaceful evening time.

How old are the dc? I'm all for dc playing out, but I hate incessant shouting and screaming.

It all boils down to consideration for others again, doesn't it? No leaving bikes/scooters outside where they don't belong/where they might get in people's way. No disturbing people with screaming and screeching.

Depending on the age of the dc, 7.30 is early. My 10yo can be out at 8 (not screaming, though).

Who the fuck goes to bed at 7.30? It's a street, not a library. YABU. Curfew? It's not fucking martial law.

Such anti-social behaviour is not acceptable at any time -- before or after 7:30. Screaming and shouting in a densely populated area is thoughtless and selfish, and these kids will grow up to think it's normal. If you want to let off steam, go to a park or playground. If you can't, be aware of your surroundings and the needs and feelings of others.

It's all subjective.

What is 'excessive noise' to one is kids having fun to another.

If you live in a street with families in it, you are going to get children. And they are going to be playing. And no way are the parents - or the children for that matter - going to be happy at going into the house at such a ludicrously early time as 7.30pm.

We have 2 cul de sacs half a mile from the village with twelve 4 and 5 bed houses in each one; big executive ones. A few of them are owned by couples, one in particular hates kids and nothing the kids in the street ever do is right. They moan at everything: they're standing too close to our front gate, they are playing in the road outside MY house, they are laughing too loud, blah blah blah. FFS why buy a 4 bed house when there is only two of you, in a cul de sac full of families, when you hate kids?

One woman in the close told the woman to piss off and live somewhere where there was no kids, and she was not stopping her kid playing in the street. It's a safe, large cul-de-sac with a little park in the middle, so it's a perfect place for them to play. I have been to this couple's house several times, and they rant and scream at the kids, when they are making virtually no noise. The couple are just miserable old bastards.

The woman (in the OP,) complaining about kids playing and shrieking (I bet they are just having fun and aren't shrieking at all,) needs to get over her precious self. Move to a cottage in a field with no houses for a mile if it's that bad. Then again, she would probably bitch about the fucking cows moo-ing in the next field!

I hope this joy-killing woman doesn't get the housing association to put a curfew in. Or even if she does, make it at least 9.00pm! 7.30pm is way too early.

Like some others on here, I also used to be made to go to bed at 7pm-ish when I was about 6 or 7, and I used to hear the kids playing too. It didn't bother me. It was part and parcel of growing up. 3-4 years later, I was one of those kids playing out at 8pm.

By the way, how can the management company enforce so many rules on owner-occupiers? No work vans? No satellite dishes? I am not allowed a satellite dish on a house I OWN? Oh fuck off. The whole street/close sounds like a prison to me!