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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say that Nikki Morrison and Sherrie Ryder of the BBC are lazy-assed 'journalists' and that it's possible that BBC have just ruined my oldest and closest friendship?

215 replies

RestlessTraveller · 14/06/2017 20:58

Yes it's a TAAT, but it's a thread about MY thread. So for thise of you who haven't read my previous thread, I was due to be a bridesmaid on Saturday when my best friend decided she couldn't go through with it and I posted on here for some advice about what to do.

The MN massive provided me with some excellent advice and we got through an extremely difficult day. I received an email from MNHQ to say they had received a media request from the BBC who wanted to run the story, I politely declined. Now it would appear they have run the story and they have quoted me (and other posters on the thread) without my permission. Yes, I realise this is a public thread and that's they didn't need my permission but I'm still pissed off!

So I just needed to call the bride and tell her why her story in on the BBC website and needless to say she is not a happy bunny. Yes I know I deserve it but I REALLY needed advice!

Anyway BBC, YOU ARE CUNTS AND I WANT MY LICENSE FEE BACK! ( Bet they don't publish this thread)

OP posts:
Sunnymorningwithbacon · 15/06/2017 08:45

I've reported this thread ages ago but hq don't have anyone on overnight.

2014newme · 15/06/2017 08:48

Also how is it lazy journalism? Where do you think journalists get their stories from? Trawling the new for stories isn't lazy it's what they do!

CheeseQueen · 15/06/2017 08:49

I've reported this thread ages ago but hq don't have anyone on overnight.

What would they do though, seriously? I can't see any grounds to pull it.
OP has already outed herself to the bride so can't see it being pulled for "could be outing" reasons.

Wh0Kn0wsWhereTheTimeGoes · 15/06/2017 08:50

It is lazy journalism, but I've never seen the Mail etc lift stories about SEN kinds, miscarriage etc, they go for the tabloid-sensation style stories which is exactly what yours is, even if you posted out of genuine concern for your friend. I'd be pretty upset if I was her even if I just found the MN thread, let alone the BBC one. Hope you can both put it behind you.

RestlessTravellerTheSequel · 15/06/2017 08:50

Sunnymorningwithbacon why would you report it? What has it got to do with you!

VintagePerfumista · 15/06/2017 08:52

It's a shame the OP didn't heed the advice of the people who were telling her within 30 minutes of her starting her original "drowning in prosecco!/non-bride!/Hyacinth Bucket!" story on Saturday that it might be an idea not to be so detailed.

But to start another thread drawing even more attention to the drama is frankly...Confused

VintagePerfumista · 15/06/2017 08:53

People report other people's threads all the time.

Surprised you still are happy to have both of them in Active given your whinging about journalists tbh.

RestlessTravellerTheSequel · 15/06/2017 08:54

Ok, well I'm off to cancel the cheque. Thanks Mumsnet. It's been a blast.

2014newme · 15/06/2017 08:54

"the BBC should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves" is hilarious.
They lift stories from anywhere and everywhere that's what journalists do, they tell stories. This one was already on the Internet publicly viewable to anybody.
They've done nothing wrong.
People suggesting otherwise are idiots

Sunnymorningwithbacon · 15/06/2017 08:55

Report it because the op is complaining about having the story lifted and this is adding fuel to the fire.

Confused why else would I? So that hq can take a look and see if maybe this or the original need to go

ShatnersWig · 15/06/2017 08:55

I'm with Vintage. People warned the OP very quickly on those threads and suggested deletion too. Adding another thread to the mix does seem rather disingenuous.

There were much better things the OP could have been doing than creating the original thread on the wedding day and jokingly comment about drinking all the prosecco. Not surprised the bride might not want much to do with the OP for a while but then with a friend who behaved like that, maybe no small loss. The ONLY person who deserves any sympathy in this whole mess is the poor groom, not the OP nor the bride.

2014newme · 15/06/2017 08:56

Restless I've no idea why you ate cross with the bbc

caffeinestream · 15/06/2017 08:56

TBF, I think it's a bit rich complaining about the BBC when you're the one that put your friends story on here for thousands of people to read without her permission in the first place.

livefornaps · 15/06/2017 08:56

How did your friend come across the BBC article?

I read your original thread: you were very clear that you wanted practical advice and you wisely did not engage with the more goady comments whose posters were digging around for dirt. If your friend saw that, i'm sure she'd understand that all you wanted was the best for her. There was no undertone of suppressed glee and no attempt made to fuel the drama. You came across as someone who was stressed, tired but who had her head screwed on. Plus you did not breathe one bad word about your friend's decision. There are other threads on here where people are given very specific advice on practical problems - all for free! I think that's a wonderful thing when a poster may lack a real-life support network with the same degree of knowledge and experience. In those cases, lots of people may read the thread with interest and not say anything but there seems to be an unspoken rule that these are real-life people with problems, rather than entertainment fodder. Unfortunately you posted in the forum that's known to be a viper's nest (although I understand that you did it for traffic). I only hope that when your friend calms down she realises that there actually wasn't anything THAT identifying in the thread and that even the BBC article is unlikely to get much traffic as it stands. People won't necessarily make the connection. Really sorry you had to go through this.

Maudlinmaud · 15/06/2017 08:58

This is now typical daily mail fodder. Hi daily mail

2014newme · 15/06/2017 08:59

@livefornaps the op told her friend it was on the BBC.

I doubt the friend would have discovered it otherwise

Sparklingbrook · 15/06/2017 09:01

This thread should go as it's a TAAT more than anything else.

MrFMercury · 15/06/2017 09:02

*AnyFucker

Wtf ?

It's not like there is a shortage of news at the moment hmm*

This ^ I really hope this doesn't ruin your friendship OP because I read it as you trying to keep calm and wanting to help your friend but also needing some support or somewhere to vent a bit yourself.

2014newme · 15/06/2017 09:03

Yes the op is one big attention seeker.

guinea36 · 15/06/2017 09:11

But it's not the op's story anymore so no one has to ask permission.
Unfortunately the moment of goes on social media (the clue's in the name by the way!) it's public property.

AngeloMysterioso · 15/06/2017 09:11

Had she already seen the BBC article when you called her OP?

Changingagain · 15/06/2017 09:16

I feel for you OP, I think you were a good friend of your original thread and you were looking for advice in supporting her.

We have a very difficult situation in our family at the moment. When it all kicked off I really wanted to ask for advice on here, but I realised how identifiable it would be. It's also a situation that the daily fail, and I guess the BBC too, would love. So I didn't post as I'm not the one directly affected so I wouldn't be the one to suffer the most if we were identified from it. It's a shame though, as I know I could get a lot of useful suggestions on here that could really help my family.

I think you just got caught up in the moment and didn't get that chance to think before posting.

hackmum · 15/06/2017 09:16

My biggest reservation about the BBC and the Mail etc using these stories is that they have no way of checking if they're true. Remember how we all got taken in by the £65 birthday cake?

Anyway, perhaps the thread will be a salutary lesson to people to be careful about what they share on the internet. I think if I was a bridesmaid with a bride who had suddenly decided to call off her wedding, my first thought wouldn't be, "I know, I'll go on Mumsnet and ask for some advice." Perhaps that's just me...

VintagePerfumista · 15/06/2017 09:25

We all read the original thread. I re-read it this morning. Initially it was full of totes hilaires comments about the OP drowning herself in prosecco and the groom's mother being like Hyacinth Bucket. (while other posters were indeed offering lots of practical advice)

I am just very surprised the OP is now getting chinny with people for (frankly) doing her a favour and trying to help her to get this latest thread deleted. For obvious reasons.

caffeinestream · 15/06/2017 09:32

Thing is, if they're not true, it doesn't really hurt anyone if an article is made out of them.

But people need to stop posting their lives/friends lives all over here in immense detail, and then get upset when said story gets poached by the Mail/BBC/local paper. It's happened enough times now that people really should be aware of it.

I've read so many threads on here that are so detailed - include photos/diagrams, and describe the location/people involved - if anyone involved read the OP, it would be strikingly obvious it was about them, which could potentially cause even more problems.

People just need to think about what they're posting. If you're posting anything that could cause problems irl, then name-change, change the identifying details (genders/ages of DC, for example, or the area of the country, or the location) and don't add any information that isn't necessary to the OP.

It's not the BBC/Daily Fail/Sun's fault that you posted your problem online for the world to see.