phantom piss taker (literally)

[icantfindagoodname]

DH leaves for work at 7.30, I leave for the school run at 8.30. I was the last one in the bathroom for the last 3 mornings. Just got home from work and for the 3rd day in a row there is wee in my toilet! It definately wasn't there when I left, DH works miles away so it wasn't him but someone (or something) has been weeing in my toilet! So what is it? A ghost incapable of flushing? The cat has somehow come way beyond litter training? I mean what the hell is happening?!

I have read whole thread this morning!

My first thought was 'why does someone always suggest looking in to lift for a dweller like in a film'

But

Eeek!
Hope the LL changing the locks does the job.
Seems that the "intruder" is good about flushing no.2 but less good about flushing no.1, eh?
Can't imagine it's the builders, why would they be there overnight? Which is when, I would think, the bottles would be used for wee.
It's probably warmer in your loft than in the house being re-built.

But I do hope they find the person - they must be pretty desperate.

This is one of the creepiest things I have ever read! I hope they find them! Also, I want CSI:Mumsnet.

CSI:Mumsnet obviously has to happen.

Whoever it is clearly means you no harm. They were probably more concerned about staying hidden than spying on you etc. That said, it's pretty creepy to find that someone has been living above you and entering your home without you knowing.

The money would suggest someone who has been begging, to me.

I'm wondering whether a former resident of next door... or even your house, has fallen on hard times.

OP any update?

I bet it is one of the builders.
For some reason he is homeless, (eg kicked out by girlfriend) and has keys to house next door. The loft is hidden, so hides out their and is fine for a few days as he fills up empty bottle (hmm) then needs to wee, and decides to risk using OPs loo.

The thing that doesn't makes sense is that he doesn't flush

Jesus, it's like that horrifying episode of Luther.

My aunt and uncle had this happen.
Someone was getting into the house, eating and drinking stuff, stealing other things, and they had no idea how as it still happened after they changed the locks.
As there is a gun cabinet in the house (farming community) all the shotguns had to be removed to the police station for safekeeping.

It transpired that their unhinged neighbour had removed the mortar between the bricks of the wall between their attics to create a hole - but because he was putting the bricks back each time no one realised for ages what was going on.

At the time there was a similar storyline on one of the soaps, so the case ended up being in the newspapers.

Scary stuff! Fairfax how did he get caught? And why was he doing it?

So unnerving!

(Small voice... I'd love a CSI:Mumsnet, could be based on the strange puzzles and mysteries on here and then a few plucky posters get together and pool their crack investigative skills to get to the truth. Starts online then moves offline for the final proof of their deductions. Basically like Bletchley Circle, but set now).

Sorry OP, I hope that's not on bad taste! Or rather, I know it's in bad taste but hope a little levity is some light relief...

Ghost it was years ago so I can't remember exactly, but it was either a brick fell out and left a dent in the ceiling of the room below or they went up to get something that was stored up against the wall and got a close look at it.
The guy ended up with a fine at court.

I don't understand why, if they've got a whole empty house next door, someone would go through the loft to the next house to use the loo, and then not flush.

cba to scroll back, but thought someone said next door was being completely renovated, so no electric/water/bathroom

Yeah - the OP said
Sorry there is no bathroom in next door, all the kitchen and bathroom is gone. The house is being re-built on the inside

Don't know why the perpetrator doesn't flush though. PP have suggested it is because he is a man - and that it could be wanting to avoid the noise.

Ah right, that makes sense now.

could someone be using lemon bleach ?

just read thread, sorry ignore lemon comment!

Just to answer a much earlier post "didn't someone do this in Coronation Street?" No it was Jimmy Corkhill in Brookside.

There were stories way back in 70s when illegal immigrants were living in lofts of terrace houses as it was quite common for houses to built like this .
It really scared my relative and me as I still remember it.

It's not fair, scooby Doo would never leave us hanging on like this ....

Strawberri actually it was Corination Street as well - Les Battersby to be specific. I know because I'm the case I mentioned above, the police reckoned this was the inspiration.

Fairfax, wasn't it the dodgy teacher who was hiding? Fizz's boyfriend?