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Original poster

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
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Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/07/2017 12:01

I'm just really nervous about another Nanny coming on to the scene and things being just as bad Grin

OP posts:
iheartpink · 02/07/2017 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluePencils · 02/07/2017 12:35

If a new nanny starts then tackle the situation immediately.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/07/2017 12:41

A disguised version of her may feature as a protagonist in a novel by you one day.

Hahaha Grin

If you ever come across a novel in Waterstones entitled the Nuisance Nanny you'll know I'm the author Grin

OP posts:
Shadow666 · 02/07/2017 13:17

I'm guessing Mrs NDN is incapable of being wrong or ever saying sorry.

Just be glad you don't live with her.

SideOrderofSprouts · 02/07/2017 22:25

Did they end up coming round?

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/07/2017 22:47

No but unfortunately me and Mrs NDN left our houses at the same time and we came face to face.

I gave her a small smile and asked how she was (big mistake) and she told me, quite pointedly, that she was very stressed as she was having to take time off work due to having no childcare Hmm

I knew she was after another fight by the way she spoke to me so I just turned away and went to get in my car but she called after me and said, "I don't know how you have the audacity to act like you've done nothing wrong. My Nanny resigned because of you and you seem to not even care about the mess you've left us in!" (Or words to that effect, I can't remember what she said exactly).

I admit I lost my temper a little then and I told her that the Nanny had been round to see me actually and we'd talked about her resignation and that the reason she told me she was resigning was because you are such a nightmare to work for! I know I shouldn't have said it because technically the Nanny didn't say that and I know it was really juvenile of me to come out with it but I was just so fed up with it all. As soon as the words came out my mouth I felt guilty but I just felt so angry towards her.

She then started shouting at me again about their childcare issues and that I'm selfish and ridiculous. At one point she even told me that if I was any kind of decent person I'd help out with childcare whilst she made other arrangements seeing as it was all my fault anyway!!

Anyway, it went on for a few more minutes of us sniping before she eventually said she was "done with it all" and then just got in her car and drove off.

My heart was racing by the end of it. I had told DH about it that evening but he told me not to let it play on my mind and just let it all blow over. I'm not sure it will though.

I haven't seen Mr NDN at all so I don't really know what his current stance is. I'm just going to revert back to trying to avoid them as much as possible!!

OP posts:
TheBrilloPad · 02/07/2017 22:52

I am gobsmacked! She is mentallll. Actual proper roffle at the idea you should be helping them with childcare 😂

PidgeonSpray · 02/07/2017 22:53

Well she put herself in that predicament really as she could have just let the driveway get oil on it.

What's more important... Not being stressed as u have a good nanny / steady childcare or fretting over a bit of oil (!?) They could have given her some sort of Matt to use fgs

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/07/2017 22:57

I'm pretty sure she was just mouthing off in retaliation to that I'd said. You just know now I'm going to wake up tomorrow to her eldest child having been dumped on my drive after he's been told he's going to spend the day with "Auntie Writer" next door whilst mummy and daddy are at work Grin

OP posts:
2rebecca · 02/07/2017 23:02

I think the nanny was partly to blame. The nanny knew full well that you didn't want her parking obstructing your drive ever. Bad back, Mrs NDN saying it was OK all these were excuses. She knew you didn't want her parking there yet she persisted. If she had a problem carrying the baby/ shopping more than 100m this was something to discuss with her employer to look at push chairs/ backpacks/ slings etc.
A reasonable person would not have obstructed your drive after they'd been asked ONCE not to do so.
If the NDN wanted that nanny they'd have just let her park on their drive. It was all easily resolvable but NDN and nanny both chose to play power games involving you rather than sort the issue out.

thatdearoctopus · 02/07/2017 23:20

Bat. Shit. Crazy.

I suppose you could have asked her how on earth you expecting to be able to get on and off your own drive without a random car blocking it most days was unreasonable or wrong, but you'd have been wasting your breath because you can't reason with crazy.

iheartpink · 02/07/2017 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sprinklestar · 02/07/2017 23:43

Is she mentally ill? I'm saying that in all seriousness. Her reactions are not normal.

rightwhine · 03/07/2017 00:01

You could have made a few non committal noises to calm the situation down. I'm afraid you haven't helped the situation at all. In fact you've fanned the flames.I can't see any come back from there.

emmyrose2000 · 03/07/2017 00:38

Mrs NDN is batshit crazy. She really can't see the mess she created, can she? How terrifying that a loose cannon like that is out policing the streets.

Shadow666 · 03/07/2017 00:42

I'm actually glad the OP stood up to her and told her what's what. Why should she stand back and let herself be bullied by this woman? I say good on her.

emmyrose2000 · 03/07/2017 01:23

I'm actually glad the OP stood up to her and told her what's what. Why should she stand back and let herself be bullied by this woman? I say good on her

Ditto.

It's ridiculous to say that OP should've just stood there and taken the crap Mrs NDN was dishing out. It sounds like Mrs NDN should've had someone stand up to her a long time ago.

Pemba · 03/07/2017 04:54

What about a solicitor's letter - to tell her to back off and that her behaviour is becoming harrassment (is it yet though - legally?). Also to point out that blocking you in on your driveway is illegal.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 03/07/2017 06:54

I expect Mr NDN will be round this evening, pouring oil not on the drive on troubled waters, making excuses for his wife.
Seriously, you are totally not to blame for nanny departure. They were extremely lucky to find someone who was able to work such flexible hours round their shifts. The last thing they should have done was pratt about over where she parks her car.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 03/07/2017 07:06

Considering for weeks I've been on the receiving end of all the craziness I don't think I should have just stood there and made "non-committal" noises whilst she was getting angry at me. As a poster has said, perhaps if more people stood up to her then she wouldn't be so shouty. She is the only one out of myself, The Nanny and Mr NDN who hasn't apologised at any point during this drama despite the fact she's the one who's been the huge driving force behind it all. People like her are used to getting their own way I imagine and think they can treat people however they see fit.

It's probably about 5 or 6 days now since we had our altercation and there's been no further contact. I'm not overly worried about facing Mr NDN but to be honest I'm just taking it in my stride now and enjoying the freedom to use my drive as and when I please Smile

OP posts:
rightwhine · 03/07/2017 07:08

She has to live next door to this woman. In an ideal work she should give back as good as she gets. In reality you do what you need to do to get the job done whilst keeping the peace as much as possible.
She was absolutely right to be assertive regarding the nannys parking. Yesterday not so much.
I'm not saying she should have rolled over and taken crap but she could have calmed the situation down rather than inflamed it.

rightwhine · 03/07/2017 07:10

X post.

Ok you have to live next door to the woman. It's up to you but I think you've made the situation worse not better.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 03/07/2017 07:20

Bar offering to provide free childcare for Mrs NDN I don't think anything will make this better Grin This situation is completely of her own making and she needs to accept that and stop looking for others to blame. I do feel bad that she's been left high end dry with childcare but if she'd been more reasonable in the first place her Nanny may not have left. I hope she's sorts our her replacement childcare soon because it must be difficult for her and Mr NDN but I'm not pandering to her nonsense anymore.

OP posts:
rightwhine · 03/07/2017 07:32

Despite what I've said, I don't think you should feel bad about the childcare situation. That is entirely her own fault. I'm just looking at the best way to move forward.