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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
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5
TenForward82 · 22/06/2017 06:32

I would have demanded to know what the hell they were playing at!

RibenaMonsoon · 22/06/2017 06:33

Somethings not right with this nanny. If she was considering leaving and was scared of you as NDN has said, surely she wouldn't park in the place that started the whole thing off. I don't think she's as innocent as they are making out.

I'd be calling up and reporting this now if I were you. You've exhausted all other avenues to get this resolved.

GuntyMcGee · 22/06/2017 07:03

I agree with Ribena- if Nuisance Nanny was contrite and soooo concerned with 'working in proximity' to the OP, she would have parked well away fro OP's driveway. It now comes across as NN trying to wind you up and NDNs are complicit in that as they're not addressing it appropriately.

As for Mr and Mrs NDN, they're full of crap - the whole blame passing thing is ridiculous! They're both employers of Nanny, so they're BOTH responsible for the impact that their employee has on you. Ultimately, the Nanny is at fault, and the issues she has with her employer's rules isn't your problem and shouldn't impact upon you.
They're all equally to blame here. Nanny for being a dick, NDNs for allowing it and not addressing it. The 'I didn't know' argument can only be said the first time you've complained. Now it's petty point scoring and is frankly very childish of them.

I think from this point onwards, you just have to keep knocking and disrupting them every time Nanny does this.

What amazes me is that they appear more concerned with the state of their drive than the safety of their children. A leaky car can't be a safe one, surely?

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2017 07:24

Nanny has just walked into NDN's house and her car is nowhere to be seen.

Part of me wants to talk to her face to face because I'm starting to doubt Mr NDN's version of events but at the same time I genuinely am just too fed up with it now to bother.

I think I'm going to have to just do the official thing and lodge a complaint when she does it and hope that gets the message across because all this 'talking' over the last week clearly hasn't had any impact on any of them.

It's so frustrating.

OP posts:
lapetitesiren · 22/06/2017 07:32

I'm not sure if it is a good idea for you to speak to any of them anymore. Because you lost your temper once ( and went round to apologise for this) they could all invent stories of your unreasonableness to each other and be believed. Put everything in writing and keep a copy. Copy the threads too😉
would anyone really be put off buying their dream home because four years ago someone who used to work next door was annoying and inconsiderate.

lapetitesiren · 22/06/2017 07:35

Actually, perhaps the value of the house will increase because it is famous on a mumsnet thread Grin

lapetitesiren · 22/06/2017 07:41

It actually sounds as if they are all telling stories to each other and even looks a bit as if mrs ndn is being told a few porkies or at least not being kept in the loop. Nanny might be hoping for a pay rise because her work conditions are so difficult.
It can't be easy to find a good nanny to cover shiftwork.

Spadequeen · 22/06/2017 07:57

😲

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2017 08:44

Nanny has just left for the school run so we'll see what happens when she gets back. I do think she'll park on NDN's empty drive though, I'm staying positive Smile

OP posts:
Shadow666 · 22/06/2017 08:55

If she does then she must have the hide of a rhino.

Shadow666 · 22/06/2017 09:15

If she does park over your drive again, call 101 and ask forbadvice. Dont mention the employer is police but explain you are pg and she keeps blocking you in. See if they can send somone round for a word. I think if the nanny did quit id consider that a good result.

RiversrunWoodville · 22/06/2017 09:41

Nuisance Nanny doesn't begin to describe her! Surely today she will use their drive!

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 22/06/2017 09:45

OP - you must be getting nothing done with all this curtain twitching!
Shouldn't you be "nesting" or something? Grin

CraicMammy · 22/06/2017 09:46

I've been lurking quietly on this thread for a while and it's been magnificent! However, I think I'm going to have to step away because last night I dreamed about this!

I shouted at Mr and Mrs NDN and told them off for being selfish and the should know better being Police. I'm not saying the OP should do this tho, because I also dreamed the roof of her house was made out of cardboard boxes, so there you go... Smile

kali110 · 22/06/2017 10:32

Maybe you should park elsewhere then see where she parks?

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 22/06/2017 10:59

Don't give up though. Otherwise they will see that they have won and if they persist, they will get their way in the end. I'd be inclined to really have a go at the thick nanny if she does it again. She has thick skin, she can take it!

Funnyface1 · 22/06/2017 11:28

I can't believe this is still going on. I'm pretty nice, but I'd be getting nasty with her now so she would hopefully realise it's not worth the hassle.

Shadow666 · 22/06/2017 11:57

Personally I wouldn't speak to the nanny again because she will go crying to Mrs NDN again about how you are being nasty to her. I think you need to speak to someone at the police, see if they have a local community officer or something who will come and have a word.

FlyingJellyfishintheAttic · 22/06/2017 12:09

Next time it happens you have to take photos. I'd still be tempted to get a camera and put in the window "smile you're on camera".

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2017 12:10

Nuisance Nanny has been round!!

She knocked on my door about an hour ago and apologised for having parked across me yesterday. She said that she'd phoned the NDN's to say she was popping over for 5 minutes and Mrs NDN had told her that as my DH wasn't due home from work for a good while (why she presumed this I don't know) then to just park across me as it was "unlikely she's going anywhere at this time of the day" Shock

Anyway, she was very apologetic. I told her I was upset that mine and NDN's previously good neighbourly relationship had been broken down as a result of this parking issue and Nuisance Nanny did look quite embarrassed by it all.

But the huge news is that she said she'd come over last night to hand in her notice and as of the end of this week she wouldn't be working for them anymore. She said that all the arguing and unpleasantness over the last week was one she hadn't liked being caught up in and that she'd found Mrs NDN quite difficult to work for before even this issue kicked off.

She apologised again for everything and said she genuinely felt trapped in the middle, never knowing where she stood with Mrs NDN, felt a bit intimidated at times and that she hadn't felt like she could stand up for herself in all that had been going on or question what Mrs NDN was telling her to do or not do in terms of where she could park.

I told her that I was sorry this issue had resulted in her feeling she has to leave her job but she brushed off my apologies and basically said if it wasn't this then it would have been something else that led to her leaving. I got the impression that she found working for the NDNs stressful and unpleasant regardless of parking spots.

We ended it amicably, I thanked her for coming and talking to me, recognised it couldn't have been easy and said there were no hard feelings towards her on my part. She smiled, thanked me and then went back into the NDN's house.

So I guess that finally, things really have come to an end now!!

OP posts:
FlyingJellyfishintheAttic · 22/06/2017 12:11

But you have to go through official channels too.

Nikephorus · 22/06/2017 12:13

So I guess that finally, things really have come to an end now!!
Until the next nanny arrives Grin

FlyingJellyfishintheAttic · 22/06/2017 12:14

Oh wow OP didn't see that coming.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 22/06/2017 12:17

Employ her as your Nanny!! 😁😁

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2017 12:20

So I guess that finally, things really have come to an end now!!

Until the next nanny arrives Grin

Shock Oh God, lol.

OP posts:
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