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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
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Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2017 12:21

Employ her as your Nanny!! Grin

And risk getting oil on my drive? No thank you, lol Grin

OP posts:
magicstar1 · 22/06/2017 12:24

That's a shame for the nanny, but totally Mrs. NDN's fault.

If the issue starts again with the next nanny, you need to have a discussion with all three of them at the same time. I've had a situation in the past where I was getting different versions of stories from people, and only got it sorted when I put them in a room together and said out straight, everything I'd been told. They couldn't pass the buck so blatantly.

Funnyface1 · 22/06/2017 12:24

No op, it will be perfectly acceptable for her to overhang ndn drive if she's your new nanny. Ndn wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 22/06/2017 12:27

Invest in some Ma Boswell cones for your drive and its entrance before they get a new nanny!!
What a fantastic thread.

Obviously not for you op!!

emmyrose2000 · 22/06/2017 12:27

She said that all the arguing and unpleasantness over the last week was one she hadn't liked being caught up in

Still being the manipulator I see. Her issues with Mrs NDN aside from the parking are irrelevant. If she didn't like working for Mr and Mrs NDN then she needed to deal with them in an adult manner, not blame it on the parking.

Nanny made the CHOICE to park across your drive, when she could easily have parked around the corner. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Pity it's probably not as easy to get rid of Mr and Mrs NDN too.

emmyrose2000 · 22/06/2017 12:30

Be prepared for Mrs NDN (and possibly Mr NDN too) to blame you for the nanny leaving. Someone as vile and nutty as Mrs NDN won't be able to accept that her actions caused this.

It might pay to have some sort of phrase in mind to shut her down when she starts; something that basically boils down to 'fuck off you psycho'.

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2017 12:39

I text my husband to let him know what's happened and he said "Thank fuck for that!"

I said the Nanny had genuinely seemed sorry about it all and he told me I was too soft and to stop being a pushover Grin

I'm going to dread bumping into either Mr or Mrs NDN now in light of this happening. I can well imagine the vitriol I will be getting!!

OP posts:
Notinmybackyard · 22/06/2017 12:44

All I can say it well done for resolving it and Penguin bollards Wink

ohfourfoxache · 22/06/2017 12:45

Any vitriol you receive is not of your doing. You can keep your head high and your access clear Grin

kali110 · 22/06/2017 12:47

You really think this will be it?
Im sensing mndn is going to be rather pissed and blame you for the nanny leaving ( because ofcourse she couldn't possibly be in the wrong..)

senua · 22/06/2017 12:53

I think before the next nanny is appointed you need to invest in a sign which says:

Access to driveway needed 24/7. Any vehicle found blocking the drive will be clamped. £100 release fee.

DadDadDad · 22/06/2017 12:59

Hopefully, the next nanny will float in on an umbrella and won't require a parking spot. Grin

Unfortunately, I bet your NDN will use your behaviour as a convenient explanation to herself of why the nanny left rather than any insight into how her (the NDN's) own behaviour produced this result.

NameChange30 · 22/06/2017 13:06

Interesting update. It's as I suspected, Mrs NDN is a complete bitch and that's why the nanny chose to inconvenience you rather than risk her boss's wrath. Given how nasty Mrs NDN was to you (and how polite the other two were in comparison) I'm not surprised.

Nanny is probably relieved to have an excuse/reason to quit tbh!

Hereward1332 · 22/06/2017 13:24

Does Mrs NDN wear a uniform? Somewhere in the recesses of memory, I recall that a defence against prosecution for illegal parking is that you were given permission by a police office in uniform.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 22/06/2017 13:30

I've just seen a Facebook post asking for a part time nanny on our local group and I immediately suspected she was Mrs ndn! Over invested...

Op - glad it's sorted out and calmed down for now. I'd be wary just in case ndn does use this against you though

Shadow666 · 22/06/2017 13:40

Well that's good news. Hopefully the next nanny will just park around the corner and walk. What are you going to do with yourself now? Grin

BewareOfDragons · 22/06/2017 14:01

I can't believe Mrs NDN actually told her to park there!!

She deserves to have lost her nanny. I hope she finds nicer employers.

Nikephorus · 22/06/2017 14:04

Hopefully, the next nanny will float in on an umbrella and won't require a parking spot.
Grin

peekyboo · 22/06/2017 14:06

Nanny was probably being nice just in case you did want a Nanny OP!
Buffering her waffles before your little one is born...

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2017 14:23

Hopefully, the next nanny will float in on an umbrella and won't require a parking spot....

Hopefully they'll use a Nursery and the before and after school clubs Grin

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 22/06/2017 14:33

Do you think she will tell the next nanny to park across your drive though?

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2017 14:35

I'm hoping she won't as hopefully she won't to take the risk of losing yet another Nanny....

.....but the goings on in Mrs NDN's brain are beyond my comprehension.

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 22/06/2017 14:43

Perhaps paint a sign saying something like 'no parking, driveway in constant use'. I wouldn't put it past Ndn. She will be well cheesed off.

Trollspoopglitter · 22/06/2017 14:47

"I'm going to dread bumping into either Mr or Mrs NDN now in light of this happening. I can well imagine the vitriol I will be getting!!"

You need to practice crinkling your nose a bit (like you just caught whiff of baby's shite while someone is taking your photo), raising your eyebrow, looking them straight in the eye and replying...

-Well, that's not the way your former nanny tells it.

-Yes, I see. Only your ex nanny unfortunately chose to share her opinions during her last visit, and honestly.... I just down know what to believe anymore.

Lunde · 22/06/2017 15:15

Perhaps NDN will inspect all potential nanny cars as part of the interview process