Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 22/06/2017 18:35

If either NDN mention that they will be getting a new nanny, maybe suggest that they nip any problems in the bud by making it abundantly clear where new nanny is NOT to park.
Suggest that it is put in her contract!

ADuckNamedSplash · 22/06/2017 18:53

I don't think this will be the end, unfortunately - the fact that Mrs NDN encouraged the nanny to park there yesterday demonstrates that she still doesn't "get it". Even if she's wise enough to avoid this with her next nanny, as you say, I don't think she'd hesitate to tell other visitors they can park across your drive if it suits her.

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2017 19:29

the fact that Mrs NDN encouraged the nanny to park there yesterday demonstrates that she still doesn't "get it".

My guess is that Mrs NDN suspected the Nanny was coming to hand her notice in and told her to park across me for no other purpose than because she knew it would piss me off. Her way of basically sticking the finger up at me!!

OP posts:
ADuckNamedSplash · 22/06/2017 20:12

My guess is that Mrs NDN suspected the Nanny was coming to hand her notice in and told her to park across me for no other purpose than because she knew it would piss me off. Her way of basically sticking the finger up at me!!

Ah, good point!

iheartpink · 22/06/2017 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iheartpink · 22/06/2017 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RMC123 · 22/06/2017 21:04

She knocked on my door about an hour ago and apologised for having parked across me yesterday. She said that she'd phoned the NDN's to say she was popping over for 5 minutes and Mrs NDN had told her that as my DH wasn't due home from work for a good while (why she presumed this I don't know) then to just park across me

Has this Nanny not got a brain cell she can use for herself. If you drive up to the house and both of the spaces are taken, then go and park around the corner!! As far as I can tell she didn't even have the baby to carry so the back issue is null and void. She is a grown bloody woman! She is just as bad as Mrs always blaming someone else and never taking responsibility for her own behaviour.
Mrs is also entitled and I doubt she will take any responsibility for her own part in the Nanny's resignation.

Optimouse · 22/06/2017 21:10

Just to give some advice re all the people saying complain about them to the police.. I work in Professional Standards and can confirm we wouldn't accept this complaint or deal with it. The NDNs are off duty and haven't put themselves on duty do to speak whilst this has been going on.
Officers are entitled to a private life (even if they are arses) and so it wouldn't be recorded as a formal complaint.
The only way forward if it happens again is to report the car for obstructing the drive and the driver will get into trouble if they are blocking you in.

thatdearoctopus · 22/06/2017 21:11

Mrs NDN had told her that as my DH wasn't due home from work for a good while (why she presumed this I don't know) then to just park across me

Seriously???? After ALL THAT AGGRO, and they hatch up that plan between them as a good idea?
If nanny is telling the truth, then Mrs NDN is off her rocker (or deliberately trying to piss you off) BUT nanny is also culpable for going along with it.

Arkengarthdale · 22/06/2017 21:13

Mrs NDN can't make someone park selfishly/badly/blocking someone in. The nanny is entirely responsible. Who in their right mind when told to park across a drive after all the aggro would do it? She should have parked across NDN drive or round the corner. I have no sympathy at all for Noxious Nanny!

Arkengarthdale · 22/06/2017 21:14

X post octopus!

iheartpink · 22/06/2017 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BanjoPier · 22/06/2017 21:29

Employ her as your Nanny!!

And risk getting oil on my drive? No thank you, lolGrin

Don't be daft - you keep your drive free and tell her to park across NDN's drive...Wink

iheartpink · 22/06/2017 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2017 21:47

I must admit to a small frisson of excitement when I saw yesterday that this was still going on, after it seemed to have reached a conclusion.

Grin

I think the final chapter will be the next encounter I have with Mrs NDN. I think it's fair to assume our relationship will never be the same again....

OP posts:
TheMaddHugger · 23/06/2017 03:43

This whole time the Nanny could have parked legally. Nanny chose to park where she did.

[I am disabled too. cant carry a baby anywhere.]

Still. Your bitch next door... She's psycho and I suspect the Husband is playin you. He is just as bad. Just has a 'Nice' public face.

Why do I think this.. I lived next to a psycho, who's DH was a cop [20 yrs ago] Sheer Hellz

DisappearingFish · 23/06/2017 05:49

What a twist.

OP I would counsel you to stand your ground if Mrs NDN accuses you of being the cause of the Nanny's departure. But don't escalate or aggravate the situation. She sounds like a woman on the edge and I think that in a few years time when she's not so stressed with small children she will be thoroughly ashamed of her behaviour.

While on a forum like this we can all pile in and call her unhinged or a bitch or whatever we don't know what she is dealing with in her life to cause her to behave so badly. I do feel sorry for her (but sorrier for you). and slightly happy it all happened because this has been the best thread ever

haveacupoftea · 23/06/2017 06:04

I thought this was about the nanny who drunk the Fevertree tonic water. Was reading OP thinking wow that got way out of hand!

DirtyChaiLatte · 23/06/2017 07:08

What the nanny is saying MrsNDN said to her about parking across your drive again doesn't ring true to my ears. I can't imagine anybody with even a tiny bit of common sense saying that about your husband.

I think you're being too charitable to the nanny. It's very easy for her to lie about what somebody else supposedly said to her.

Considering all the trouble in the past, you'd think the nanny wouldn't park across your drive even if told by MrsNDN to do it.

BengalGal · 23/06/2017 07:18

The nanny could just have decided to park there, then tell you She was told to park there, as a final gesture to cause trouble for Mrs NDN. That's why she looked so guilty.

Writerwannabe83 · 23/06/2017 12:20

It just seems so juvenile doesn't it with Nanny and Mrs NDN both wanting to blame each other and blame me. The only people who have come out of this situation without any blame or nastiness is my DH and Mr NDN.

The Nanny is parked on their drive this morning and when she saw me through the window she smiled and waved at me so I reciprocated.

I won't have to see her again after today so I'm just keeping the peace!

OP posts:
Sprinklestar · 24/06/2017 03:43

Just caught up. This thread has been magnificent, OP!

SophieGiroux · 29/06/2017 23:11

Any update? Has the nanny left now?

Writerwannabe83 · 02/07/2017 11:48

Yes, I'm assuming she has gone as I haven't seen her or her car around for a good while now.

Me and Mrs NDN had a big clash at the start of last week and our friendly chats on the driveway seem to have come to an end.

I'm hoping though that as time passes things will simmer down and we can start being pleasant towards each other again. I have no problems with her but she obviously still blames me for what's happened and so that is that I guess.

OP posts:
iheartpink · 02/07/2017 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.