To ask people to stop swearing so much

[user1497264327]

Frankly, the language of some of the posters on this site is disgusting and I wonder if they talk like this in front of their children. I also wonder if their parents would be proud of how they post on the internet. Swearing every time isn't big and it isn't clever. It makes people come across as uneducated chavs.

AIBU to ask people to clean up their act and stop swearing?

Cringe! Reading this is like being back at school circa 1996. The bully girls in the corner - "Who does she think she is?" "I can do what I want@. "Are you calling us thick?" "Do you think I'm a chav or something?" "We don't care".
Sad and desperate, when all else fails, they fall back on declaring their love for each other. "I fuckin live you to bits you know."

I think we rather feel the same way, zara. I was badly bullied at school, that's what happens to children who are academic. I was then badly bullied by somebody else, I don't do it to others, but I don't tolerate it anymore, either.

Nice try, Zara. Interestingly, you seem to have skimmed over all the posts where posters were actually calling people chavs, uneducated, boorish and all manner of oh-so-polite and kind names.

Why is that?

Insults have been thrown in either side as tends to happen.

If you have been bullied Dawn, you should know how it feels to feel sickened / abused / misunderstood but to have to put up with something.

Why not just say something like, "I accept that some people will be offended by my choice of language and I apologise for this. However, swearing helps me to express myself and I hope you can accept this and understand that I do not use it as an attempt to alienate others"

That is all people want.

Regardless of people calling you chavs or whatever, trying to justify yourselves as academic or whatever just looks desperate. A bit of humility would be far more effective.

Then Zara, to be honest, they want too much.

It is enormously arrogant to come onto a site that is for adults, permits swearing and where swearing is part of the culture and demand that those adults doff their caps, grovel and apologise for using language that is perfectly acceptable in this particular context.

If those making said demands had shown any grace or humility themselves (how about 'this is my problem, I really don't like it, but that's on me' as some like Lass have done on this thread) rather than throwing around truly derogatory and offensive terms like chav and deciding the best way to advance their case is to belittle others as unintelligent, common, uneducated and the classic passive m-aggressive 'but just so you know, people will judge you!', then I might have some sympathy for your argument.

But that's not what happened. Demanding those who were attacked and insulted from the OP onwards 'show some humility' is bizarre logic.

And since you seem to have missed one particular point, I don't think any of us care if we are called chavs. (I'm an immigrant, I've been called much worse.) We object to the term itself which is horrifically snobbish, classist and derogatory.

If people saying daft things can't bear to be laughed at, they should come up with better arguments.

A bit of humility would be far more effective.
Who the bloody hell do you think you're talking to? I'm a 58 year old woman and you sound like me stbxh. How dare you suggest that I display humility. To whom? For what purpose? Because I have a different opinion and because I'm using a site that allows swearing. You have neither the right to monitor me, nor the right to criticise me.
You are bullying and shaming. Exactly what you've accused others of doing.

The irony is I don't even swear that much on here.

Some folk have their nose so far up their own arse that they can't see owt for shite

Rebel, I don't think I've even sworn on this thread.

More recent posters have not resorted to calling you chavs - or anything at all for that matter. They have gone out of their way to state this. They have explicitly tried to explain that it is the language that they find offensive, regardless of any social context or "type" of person behind it.

They have stated that they don't expect anyone to change, but nevertheless, they personally would prefer less swearing on MN.

They are simply being honest, yet not once has anybody been able to even acknowledge their feelings in a reasonable, non-aggressive way.

Nobody has a monopoly on anything on MN.

@zara80 like when I got ridiculed for an apostrophe and called ignorant for merely debating whether swearing really is a sign of a limited vocabulary (while not actually using any swearing)?

Dawn - why get aggressive and defensive again?
I was called a cunt the other day by someone in a car park. That word really affects me. Can you accept that other people are perhaps sensitive in ways you are not?

Zara, I suggest you have another look at the thread. You seem to have missed a fair old bit.

But for the most part, it isn't people saying they don't like swearing. That's fine. It's telling (not even asking) people to change their own behaviour, using condescending (not big or clever), classist (you sound like chavs), and other (disgusting, you sound uneducated) insults.

No one is ridiculing anyone for not liking swearing. They are ridiculing people who expect others to stop swearing because they don't like it, and decide that the best way to get them to change is to insult them.

Well I'm not on here to speak for anyone else. I have never called anyone a chav in my life because that is likely to be insulting. To me though, nothing is worse than being called a cunt and I am personally very uncomfortable with that word being bandied around as if it is a joke because it literally makes me want to vomit.

That is my view as a fellow MNer and, as I say. I can only speak for myself.

Zara, thank you for one of the few honest contributions I think anyone anti-swearing has made on this thread. As I said earlier, several posters have spoken about their own issues with swearing rather than telling others why they are shit humans for swearing, which is I agree a more productive way of carrying out this sort of conversation.

I can see how many MN threads would be uncomfortable for you (and outside MN as 'cunt' becomes more acceptable). I don't think I use it myself (maybe I have? Not sure) but I don't think less of people who do use it, because I recognise we all have different perspectives on the weight of different words. For my money, I think that MN has it right - swearing is ok, but personal attacks (regardless of whether they use swear words or not) are forbidden.

Thankyou for understanding Jassy.

It might be something to do with the other parenting site which bans swearing. Where you have written a long, eloquent post and because the word fuck is in it, it gets deleted.

That certainly feels infantilising. And is almost guaranteed to produce a barrage of swearing at your phone.

So it feels like something of a relief to be able to punctuate some of one's more impassioned posts with the odd swearword.

Personally, it's not that I particularly love swearing, but I feel strongly about defending my right to do it without being told off. Someone saying they find it offensive is very close to that.

If those making said demands had shown any grace or humility themselves (how about 'this is my problem, I really don't like it, but that's on me' as some like Lass have done on this thread)

Didn't stop one poster suggesting I deserved to be called a fucking cunt though did it?

it isn't big and it isn't clever

Just let me pull my skirt up so you can cane me with your ruler mummy. Terribly fucking sorry. I learnt it from the big boys at school.

Although I do think we should stop the name calling.

*Today 13:20 babybubblescomingsoon

it isn't big and it isn't clever

Just let me pull my skirt up so you can cane me with your ruler mummy. Terribly fucking sorry. I learnt it from the big boys at school. sad

Datun - I like most of what you've said. But the last bit I disagree slightly with. It's fine for other people to express that they find swearing offensive, free world, free speech exemplified on this site an' all that - what is NOT fine, and does feel "punishy", is for them to tell people not to do it any more.

People who are offended by swearing may or may not be in the majority on this site. It's hard to tell, tbh. Most posters seem to swear a bit, but not THAT much. Some swear a lot, some may never feel the need - but it's a bit of a stretch to insist that those of us who do swear are in the minority - I don't think so, not in this day and age. I don't swear on every thread I'm on - but where the occasion suggests it, I do. I have no qualms about it. I'm an adult, my children aren't reading this site, swearing IS allowed on here, so I'll do it if I want to.

I can't be doing with the concept that those who find swearing offensive should try and change the established culture of this site, to suit their own books. It's not going to happen. IF you don't like it, as has been said many times, there are other sites that prevent swearing. You won't be so offended there. But do NOT expect that any of us are going to go "oo sorry miss, won't happen again, miss, sorry to have upset your delicate ears/eyes/feelings." LOST CAUSE. Give it up.

Either accept the site the way it is, or go somewhere more in keeping with your own feelings. This place isn't going to change for a minority of posters who whinge about the level of bad language, and some of whom insult those who use it.

I can't be doing with the concept that those who find swearing offensive should try and change the established culture of this site, to suit their own books

And most posters didn't after the early posts . I said about halfway through I didn't like swearing and don't do it on here or real life. It doesn't impress me and very rarely adds anything. Nothing however about asking it to stop. My first few posts were then followed by mocking posts, lots of tittering and being told how awfully clever the pro swearing posters are.

I mentioned I kept well clear of the person in real life who had been screaming that I was a fucking cunt and got a nasty, sneering reply along the lines of why was I surprised by anyone calling me that? I.e I deserved real life verbal abuse.

I can't be doing with the concept that expressing the opinion one doesn't like swearing meets with such derision.