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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have flattened the sandwiches?

271 replies

DryBone · 10/06/2017 14:37

Been dieting for weeks, lost lots of weight and now below target. Thought I'd treat myself to a Burger King today. DH knee my plans as i had been banging on about it all week. I was really looking forward to it after eating like a saint all week.
So plan was today to go and do shopping and then pop to Burger King. Again I mentioned how much I was looking forward to eating this thing I'd been craving all week.

So we took the shopping home, I sort the dog out only to go into kitchen and see DH handing me a bacon sandwich. I said "what's that for?" So he said "well I knew you were hungry so I thought I'd save us the drive". I was fuming and told him I didn't want that, I wanted to go and buy what I'd been planning to buy all week! He said I was being a brat and ungrateful and if I desperately wanted BK I could drive myself - knowing full well I cant fucking drive!!!

So out of pure frustration I hammered the sandwich not realising that he'd put egg in it which splattered everywhere meaning I burnt my hand in the process. Now we're not talking.

AIBU to think he created this by going back on plans and not realising how fucking difficult dieting is when it's relentless for weeks?

Slightly hormonal so am prepared to hear I'm over reacting .

OP posts:
Smellbellina · 10/06/2017 18:12

Learn to drive, clears up all sorts of issues.

😂 MN is on fire today!

sunnysouthend · 10/06/2017 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StillHungryy · 10/06/2017 18:16

What a load of BS that it's abusive, they were out didn't go to BK so DH made a sandwich instead, which depending on time makes sense to many some would consider two half 2 pushing it to have lunch so it's quicker to make a sandwich.

Besides OP could have had BK later, the next day or when they turn 17 and learn to drive/ or get the bus to BK instead of making threads on MN for a reaction

Didactylos · 10/06/2017 18:19

is hammering sandwiches the new punching cake?

Maryhadalittlelambstew · 10/06/2017 18:22

You over reacted but I do get where you're coming from. He knew you wanted a BK after all your hard work, had (presumably) agreed to the plan of getting one at lunchtime and instead gave you a sandwich knowing full well you had your heart set on a BK. That would piss me off but I wouldn't react aggressively. I'd thank him but then re-iterate I had been really looking forward to my BK as planned so could we go there for dinner instead and made sure we did.

And to all the posters saying a bacon sandwich is better than a BK that isn't really helpful, OP wanted a BK!

pigletpie29 · 10/06/2017 18:25

I think he was being really mean - knowing you were looking forward to it and couldn't drive yourself. I would have been gutted!

AyeAyeFishyPie · 10/06/2017 18:26

Only on MN would anyone ever tell you that you were in the right and he was in the wrong here. Literally what the actual fuck.MN as it's sexist best.

Sirzy · 10/06/2017 18:29

Your last line is spot on ayeaye

GahBuggerit · 10/06/2017 18:31

I'm sorry, are we still talking about a grown woman wanting a Burger King or a small child opening an orange on Christmas day?

Both me and dp have often said "I fancy x for tea" then changed our minds, the other one is a bit titted off but to fume and punch a fucking egg and bacon butty is rather extreme! Maybe he just cba to go back out, shock horror!

AyeAyeFishyPie · 10/06/2017 18:32

Thank you Sirzy - apart from my grammatical error. Its. Not it's. Sorry!

JustCallMeKate · 10/06/2017 18:32

AIBU to think he created this

YABU to blame your DH for your behaviour. He didn't make you behave the way you did. If any female had started a thread about their DH doing this the calls of LTB would have started. There was absolutely no need for a tantrum. It's absolutely ridiculous behaviour IMO over something so trivial.

Etak15 · 10/06/2017 18:33

To be fair being too tight to buy her one was one of my three possible reasons for him being such an arse!
Maybe he had said he'd treat them to bk then thought fuck that we've just spent £100 on the grocery shop were not going out spending on lunch.
Maybe it was one of the other 2 reasons, either way he's showing total disinterest in her dieting achievements and in getting her something she really wanted.

Guavaf1sh · 10/06/2017 18:33

Another one saying it was a massively ott reaction though I'm also quite bewildered by the 'hammering'

LynetteScavo · 10/06/2017 18:37

Taking out of the equation you are a woman and he is a man....you were a bit unreasonable...but you have been obsessing about this BK and thought you weren't' going to get it, so had a bit of a tantrum. People on diets do get really obsessed by food. You splattered a sandwich your DH had lovingly prepared, not punched him on the nose.

YWBU, but only a bit.

Squishedstrawberry4 · 10/06/2017 18:39

How far away is it? Could you have walked or cycled? Or gone straight after shopping instead of going home?

I can understand him not wanting to go out again after getting home. He kindly made you a sandwich and you could have politely said no thankyou. You threw a tantrum instead.

Squishedstrawberry4 · 10/06/2017 18:40

You. Oils have had the burger another day instead when passing

Brittbugs80 · 10/06/2017 18:42

Nothing worse than someone who doesn't drive, who expects to be driven everywhere whenever they want without a thought to the driver.

I'll echo what others have said, you acted like a child. You could have said no rather than hitting the sandwich and burning yourself.

Some comments on here just highlight that men can't win. It's always twisted to them being controlling, abusive etc.

And if your diet is leaving you that hungry and bad tempered, you might want to reassess it.

I hope you apologise to him.

Upanddownroundandround · 10/06/2017 18:49

Yes overreaction but maybe justified. It's not to do with the food as much as it is to do with your DH knowing that you were looking forward to a treat and have been working hard to earn it. He was being supportive and you were overreacting. I'd probably just put it behind me now if I were in your shoes though or you'll ruin your Sat night.

cushioncovers · 10/06/2017 18:51

I think he was being really mean - knowing you were looking forward to it and couldn't drive yourself. I would have been gutted!

^^ this

AyeAyeFishyPie · 10/06/2017 18:53

How on earth is this justified behaviour? How? Frankly going on about one meal for a week isn healthy anyway. That aside OP has been not only rude but incredibly unpleasant. If this was the other way round the phrases 'red flag' and 'ltb' (and possibly 'cock lodger' given OP can't actually do the fucking drive herself) would have been trotted out and actually not hugely unreasonably.

I cannot believe that anybody would justify this behaviour. The world has gone mad.

Sugarformyhoney · 10/06/2017 18:53

Does your dp normally control what you eat? You obv over reacted but he was being a prick by blateny going back on plans and offering you a passive aggressive sandwich. Clearly not the same calibre as a BK

Confusedandgettingold · 10/06/2017 18:56

I'm on the fence too.

Are you prone to tantrums in general?

Is it possible your dh is testing you?

AceholeRimmer · 10/06/2017 19:03

I think the hammering was out of order but he was being mean as he knew how much you were looking forward to it. Both a bit unreasonable but I'd get on the bus/get a taxi and eat at BK.. enjoy the alone time!

UrsulaPandress · 10/06/2017 19:06

Loving the idea of a controlling sandwich.

Pizza4me · 10/06/2017 19:11

you would probably have regretted the Bk afterwards anyway