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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have flattened the sandwiches?

271 replies

DryBone · 10/06/2017 14:37

Been dieting for weeks, lost lots of weight and now below target. Thought I'd treat myself to a Burger King today. DH knee my plans as i had been banging on about it all week. I was really looking forward to it after eating like a saint all week.
So plan was today to go and do shopping and then pop to Burger King. Again I mentioned how much I was looking forward to eating this thing I'd been craving all week.

So we took the shopping home, I sort the dog out only to go into kitchen and see DH handing me a bacon sandwich. I said "what's that for?" So he said "well I knew you were hungry so I thought I'd save us the drive". I was fuming and told him I didn't want that, I wanted to go and buy what I'd been planning to buy all week! He said I was being a brat and ungrateful and if I desperately wanted BK I could drive myself - knowing full well I cant fucking drive!!!

So out of pure frustration I hammered the sandwich not realising that he'd put egg in it which splattered everywhere meaning I burnt my hand in the process. Now we're not talking.

AIBU to think he created this by going back on plans and not realising how fucking difficult dieting is when it's relentless for weeks?

Slightly hormonal so am prepared to hear I'm over reacting .

OP posts:
WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 10/06/2017 16:10

YANBU to be upset although I think battering the sandwich was OTT Grin

To those saying he was kind to have made it for her, why was he kind when he knew how much she was looking forward to a BK instead? He made her a meal that she didn't want, didn't ask for, and wasn't consulted on yet she's supposed to be greatful? It's totally irelevant whether anyone thinks the sandwich is better, OP was looking forward to the BK and he knew it.

Those telling her to just drive to BK and get it herself...she mentioned she doesn't drive!
Those telling her to learn to drive/get a taxi/get a bike, etc...you have no idea where OP lives, what her financial situation is, or anything else about her for that matter.

diddl · 10/06/2017 16:12

"was looking forward to something specific presented me with something he knew I didn't want instead."

Yes, he should just have eaten the sandwich himself & left Op to get her own lunch.

MrsJayy · 10/06/2017 16:18

I agree with wizard the depriving then rewarding of food in your case burger king has consumed you Op so much you acted like a total fool all over food it really is emtionlly unhealthy.

SumThucker · 10/06/2017 16:20

This thread has given me a ridiculous urge for a bacon and egg sandwich.

sunnysouthend · 10/06/2017 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gillybeanz · 10/06/2017 16:33

YABU, Burger King is shit, hardly described as food.
i can't believe you have been eating really nice food on your diet and now want this crap.

Lovelise · 10/06/2017 16:49

I would have got the rage as well.

Just saying.

Cleanermaidcook · 10/06/2017 16:57

Yes yes obviously I live in 1953, my chain is just about stretching from the kitchen sink to the sofa.
The fact that he drove suggests that he took her, if she'd have drove then she'd have taken him. It says nowhere in the original thread that it was food shopping it say they went to "do shopping", perhaps he was treating the little wife to a day out and buying her some pretty clothes eh?

expatinscotland · 10/06/2017 16:57

Grow up! Maybe he's sick of driving. Get a bus and get your BK yourself.

BillSykesDog · 10/06/2017 17:10

This thread is so funny. Peak Mumsnet.

'My husband made me a sandwich'.

'OMG that's abuse, LTB'.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 10/06/2017 17:12

This morning, whilst I had a very rare lie in, DH went out and got the papers for me and then made me a 'proper' coffee. DD2 meanwhile, made us all a lovely cooked vegetarian breakfast and whilst she did that DD2 did the 'poo run' in the garden, brushed the dogs and took the rubbish out. All before I even came downstairs. Fecking selfish barstewards, the lot of 'em. Grin

BarryTheKestrel · 10/06/2017 17:20

If I said I want X and had made plans including DH (in full agreement) to obtain X and DH brought me Y even thought I didn't ask for it, want it, and he had changed all the plans without consulting me, I'd be angry. Maybe not sandwich smashing angry, but angry none the less.

OP, I feel your pain, I have been known on more than one occasion to walk the 2 miles to BK for some chilli cheese bites when the craving get too bad. Now we have deliveroo so I don't need to!

I also don't drive due to medical issues so I know how tough it can be to rely on someone else to drive when you have made plans together. (before anyone starts, I never ever ask for a lift anywhere and am happy to get myself around but if someone makes plans with me, offers to drive, then cancels I do get very annoyed).

Codename82 · 10/06/2017 17:22

Why couldn't you have just said "no thanks" and made your own way to BK? I understand it must have been shit to have been looking forward to something and then not get it. But it's also shit to be the one that drives about the non driver in the relationship. Could you not have got a bus/walked/cycled?

Tbh though, would have made more sense just going to BK after getting the shopping since you where already out!

Codename82 · 10/06/2017 17:25

I should have added to my "shit to drive about the non driver in the relationship" that it excludes medical reasons for not being able to drive. My ex doesn't drive, just because he never learned, there's no medical reason and it's sometimes annoying when you can't be arsed to go out again!

TheBusThatCouldntSlowDown · 10/06/2017 17:27

Is this just about the bacon butty OP ? It's not normal to react like this to your partner if you love and respect each other.

(Also, a bacon and egg butty is about 300,000 x better than Burger King)

Etak15 · 10/06/2017 17:29

I have only read first two pages, but yanbu, he knew you were looking forward to it and he made you a bacon sarnie either because : a) he fancied one, b) he couldn't be arsed to take you to bk or c) he's too tight to buy you one!
All of which are selfish reasons on his part, esp when he knew you were looking forward to it so much.

Sallystyle · 10/06/2017 17:36

I would be well fucked off if dh made me a sandwich in this situation. I don't know what is nice about someone making you food they know you don't want. I wouldn't be grateful for that if he knew we had planned a BK after getting to goal weight.

You reacted badly but I would have felt the same as you.

ClopySow · 10/06/2017 17:56

*ClopySow

While you may have over reacted slightly, you did it with style.

I must remember that the next time we have a husband reacting in a violent way to his wife*

Don't be silly. She slapped a sandwich.

BoneyBackJefferson · 10/06/2017 17:59

ClopySow

Suit yourself

Sirzy · 10/06/2017 18:02

So where is the line drawn cloppy throwing things at walls? Is that acceptable?

There is a very fine line isnt there...

GeekyWombat · 10/06/2017 18:04

FWIW I wouldn't have hammered the sandwich although runny egg in a sandwich is the work of the devil but I'd have been disappointed with the bacon too.

BK isn't my thing but I totally get the urge for a specific thing and the disappointment when it isn't what you expect or you can't have it.

He might have meant well, he might have been trying to save himself a trip. Neither of you ABU but can you make it up?

Have your BK another day.

ShatnersBassoon · 10/06/2017 18:05

Burger King smells like unclean barbecue, so based on that, I'll say YWBU.

I do think if you're relying on someone to taxi you around, you have to accept that they can change plans if they can't be arsed to go out on another errand. He thought you were hungry, he didn't want another drive out, he made you a sandwich. I think he was OK to do that.

LedaP · 10/06/2017 18:06

he's too tight to buy you one!

Why is there an assumptio he would buy it? Wtf?

What decade do you live in, that the expectation is that her dh didnt want to go because he didnt want to pay?

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 10/06/2017 18:09

Learn to drive, clears up all sorts of issues.

Smellbellina · 10/06/2017 18:11

That would have annoyed me too OP.
But, thanks for the thread, so so many unintentionally hilarious posts.