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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Elmlea Husband strikes again!

335 replies

ElinorRigby · 10/06/2017 11:30

I posted a few days back about my husband, who was given a shopping list with 'cream' and 'orange juice cartons' on it. He returned with a) Elmlea and b) cartons of orange squash - despite the fact that both of us always have real cream and pure fruit juices.

We had a conversation in which I said if the shop did not stock the products on the list, it was better to return empty-handed.

I asked him to take the squash back and he did so, telling me he'd now go some apple juice in exchange. (In fact he had got multivitamin fruit and carrot juice.)

Yesterday the handle of our smaller bucket snapped. We have one heavy duty bucket - the kind used for outdoor jobs - and the smaller bucket that I use for soaking and handwashing. I said 'Could you get me a small 8 litre bucket while you're out.'

He returned saying he had had to look everywhere in order to find a small bucket. He then showed me quite a large bucket with a label on the side saying '13 litre capacity.'

I said, 'This is too big.'
He said, There weren't any small ones. I went to lots of shops.'
I said, 'Did you get a receipt'
He said, 'No.'

I took the 13 litre bucket back intending to ask for a refund and then order one of the right size from Asda Click and Collect. But the woman at the shop said, 'We do have smaller buckets'. So, because she was being helpful, I got a 7 litre one from the display at the front of the shop.

Is this a '3 strikes and he's out' situation?

OP posts:
Whatsforu · 10/06/2017 14:49

Your house your rules says it all. Poor man.

user1494187262 · 10/06/2017 14:54

I've been reading this thread antocipating something important to happen Confused

strugglingstepdad · 10/06/2017 14:56

Did everyone miss this bit?
It astounds me how men get on in the world of work because they are obviously so much better than women but the moment they get home and are asked to do a simple task they become incompetent.

This is an issue for me.

It's not incompetence. It's not knowing. How often do you actually look at the brand/packaging when you use something?

I couldn't tell you half the brands of stuff my DP buys! I do go shopping sometimes (I'm not allowed often as she can shop for 6 of us on £100 a week and I spent that in 1 shop Shock).

It's very easy when your not the primary shopper to not know what's what in the cupboards.

If they shopped more regularly, say 50% of the time then things would be different as most of the shopping is purely down to learnt knowledge from actual shopping!

GrumpyOldBag · 10/06/2017 15:20

What is Elmlea made of anyway?

WinifredAtwellsOtherPiano · 10/06/2017 15:22

See photo upthread grumpy.

maddiemookins16mum · 10/06/2017 15:23

He's just not shopping material is he. I feel your pain.

MikeUniformMike · 10/06/2017 15:23

Ingredients
Buttermilk (63%),
Vegetable Oils in varying proportions (35%) (Palm, Rapeseed),
Buttermilk Powder,
Emulsifiers (E435, E322 (from Soya)),
Lactose,
Stabilisers (E412, E410),
Colour (E160a)

Cream is made of cream.

GrumpyOldBag · 10/06/2017 15:25

Interesting - it is mainly dairy in origin then.

Buttermilk is quite nice.

MikeUniformMike · 10/06/2017 15:25

That reminds me of colleague a few years ago who was horrified to find that the white coffee no sugar from the vending machine contained sugars as they were in the whitening stuff. He was diabetic.

OvO · 10/06/2017 15:26

I often send my DH with the old packaging so he gets the right thing.

Or I show him photos online before he goes. 😂

He's an utter puddin' when it comes to shopping. He'd be my phone a friend though as he can remember every other fact in existence!

He willingly goes back for the right thing if he does mess up. Which he does often despite the packaging or pics.

TheMasterNotMargarita · 10/06/2017 15:27

The only thing I am shocked at here is that Elmlea isn't cream Shock.
Every day's a school day.

StaplesCorner · 10/06/2017 15:28

So OP, can you explain, is this entirely light hearted or he is normally a bit of a twat?

My DH would make similar mistakes in shopping, because he has to have everything explained to him, he's 60 but its my fault he doesn't know anything apparently. I was thinking yesterday of all the times I've stood in a supermarket with DCs with not enough money to feed us all and had to buy things like economy pasta for 19p, knowing the DC hate it, and then having to ask the cashier to put things back and feeling utterly sick. DH has NEVER done that because he would refuse to budget, he'd buy whatever he wanted and then say well its not his fault as I didn't TELL him exactly what to buy. Well no one told me either.

I have no sympathy for OP's DH whatsoever.

OvO · 10/06/2017 15:28

Strugglingstepdad, you're clearly not doing much of the cooking then either. If you cooked (but didn't do the shopping) you'd still know what brands were bought.

Eyes, they're handy for seeing stuff.

DJBaggySmalls · 10/06/2017 15:28

Strategic incompetence is a crock and this place gets more like Reddit every weekend.

timeisnotaline · 10/06/2017 15:43

I too expect juice not squash. Squash is not a regular drink in our house and not a substitute for juice. I don't know Elmlea but when I sent my husband for steak for a stir fry and he came back with a stewing cut instead, I explained that i couldn't make stir fry with it so he shouldn't have bought it, and now we don't have anything for dinner. Presumably I too sound like a nutter to many of you!

timeisnotaline · 10/06/2017 15:46

Struggling stepdad, agree with the pp who said you don't cook. The work example is very relevant, if I am ccd on reports regularly I could easily be expected to know how to produce them at short notice one day. If that was your home life suspect you wouldn't have opened the email and your dp would know it inside out. Because responsibility.

DJBaggySmalls · 10/06/2017 15:47

Elmlea is fake cream like squash is fake juice, and you would have to deliberately seek it out instead of cream.

Passthecake30 · 10/06/2017 15:51

DP wouldn't even set foot in a food shop, ever, as he's scared of getting things wrong. An excuse maybe..

strugglingstepdad · 10/06/2017 15:58

@Ovo

"Strugglingstepdad, you're clearly not doing much of the cooking then either. If you cooked (but didn't do the shopping) you'd still know what brands were bought.

Eyes, they're handy for seeing stuff."

No I don't do much of the cooking. I cook once a week when I'm home out of the 2 days a week we get together as a family.

iffikitty · 10/06/2017 16:01

If the size of a bucket doesn't matter, why do they make different sizes?

theclick · 10/06/2017 16:12

You made him take squash back? That's ridiculous. The petrol charge if he drove would basically outweigh the squash price!

ElinorRigby · 10/06/2017 16:17

I'm not sure the thread was that light-hearted, because the petty stuff is frustrating.

Also he has food/shopping preferences which I do adhere to.

A particular brand of marmalade. Unsalted rather than salted butter. Non-biological rather than biological stuff for the washing machine.

I appreciate that a lot of the time it is scattiness, and a difficulty negotiating his way through the choices of shopping.

But in an equal partnership, you do become a bit impatient at times when the other person doesn't 'get it' and has to be reminded. Sometimes, it's a bit of a long haul....

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 10/06/2017 17:18

Clearly, a lot of people don't know the difference between Elmlea and cream. I think juice (squash) and juice (fruit juice) are also fairly easy to mix up.

It's a mistake that either gender could make.

All the low expectation of men/oh the menz/are you married to a child etc etc etc is rubbish.

It's just that in real life everyone isn't as perfect as all mumsnetters are. People in real life make mistakes! It's a shocker I know.

OP it's possible that you've married a person from the general population of fallible people and not a mumsnetter. That's your problem!

expatinscotland · 10/06/2017 17:23

'I appreciate that a lot of the time it is scattiness, and a difficulty negotiating his way through the choices of shopping.'

It's not rocket science.

Babymamamama · 10/06/2017 17:26

Is this the time for you to start internet shopping OP? I feel sorry for your DP.