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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Elmlea Husband strikes again!

335 replies

ElinorRigby · 10/06/2017 11:30

I posted a few days back about my husband, who was given a shopping list with 'cream' and 'orange juice cartons' on it. He returned with a) Elmlea and b) cartons of orange squash - despite the fact that both of us always have real cream and pure fruit juices.

We had a conversation in which I said if the shop did not stock the products on the list, it was better to return empty-handed.

I asked him to take the squash back and he did so, telling me he'd now go some apple juice in exchange. (In fact he had got multivitamin fruit and carrot juice.)

Yesterday the handle of our smaller bucket snapped. We have one heavy duty bucket - the kind used for outdoor jobs - and the smaller bucket that I use for soaking and handwashing. I said 'Could you get me a small 8 litre bucket while you're out.'

He returned saying he had had to look everywhere in order to find a small bucket. He then showed me quite a large bucket with a label on the side saying '13 litre capacity.'

I said, 'This is too big.'
He said, There weren't any small ones. I went to lots of shops.'
I said, 'Did you get a receipt'
He said, 'No.'

I took the 13 litre bucket back intending to ask for a refund and then order one of the right size from Asda Click and Collect. But the woman at the shop said, 'We do have smaller buckets'. So, because she was being helpful, I got a 7 litre one from the display at the front of the shop.

Is this a '3 strikes and he's out' situation?

OP posts:
WinifredAtwellsOtherPiano · 10/06/2017 13:28

DH once asked me to get a tin of tomatoes on my way home and instead I came back with a 3 foot by 2 foot wooden CD rack I'd found outside a neighbour's house (we operate an informal Freecycle scheme).

He was a bit Hmm but in my defence I did then go back out to get the tomatoes once I'd freed up my hands.

BarbaraofSeville · 10/06/2017 13:31

think he is purposefully being a useless prick so he won't be asked to do anything again. It is a well used tactic, a faux learned helplessness and feigning ignorance which can excuse him from doing tasks he can't be arsed with

Exactly. Don't fall for it.

That wouldn't wash at work, and it wouldn't wash with anything that the DH thinks matters. I used oil in a car engine to illustrate this point to my DP. Any old pretend shitey cream is no more an acceptable substitute for real cream than olive oil is suitable for use in engine of my car. Unless I am terminally stupid, I would buy the correct type of oil.

Can't believe the number of people fooled by Elmlea. Might explain the argument I had in an Asda cafe once when they tried to pass off a giant tub of cheap spread as 'butter' Hmm. I sent my crumpets back and asked for a refund because spread on crumpets is worse than no crumpets at all and apparently this Asda 'had run out of actual butter'.

jay55 · 10/06/2017 13:31

The size of the bucket matters if a big one is too big to fit under the tap in the sink indoors, as it is used for soaking laundry etc.
The op gave a litre size and not some vague description.

GrumpyOldBag · 10/06/2017 13:32

FFS. he's come home with the wrong sort of salmon. Cooked with sweet chilli sauce. which is going to taste horrible with the dill and parsley that were also on the list.

Suzysuz · 10/06/2017 13:32

Elmlea isn't cream?!

misses point of thread

GrumpyOldBag · 10/06/2017 13:33

"Get off your arse and buy what you want then".

I wouldn't mind if he was cooking and it was his recipe but he never cooks and I need the other kind for my recipe.

christmaswreaths · 10/06/2017 13:37

I don't think it's a man/woman thing. If I asked my mum or a number of friends to get an get juice, some of them would definitely come back with Squash as that's to them the same. So no big deal for them.

I think it would be easier if you are that specific about food, to get online shopping and/or go yourself. I am sure there are 100s of other jobs to do in the house/outside of the house for your husband to have a better chance to get it right.

GardenGeek · 10/06/2017 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbaraofSeville · 10/06/2017 13:40

They already had a big bucket and the OP wanted a small one. If the large one they already had was any good for the intended task, she would have used that. Maybe the small one is kept clean for washing and the big one is used in the garden, so is often too dirty for clean washing. Or it won't fit under the tap like jay says.

it says cream on the tub

It also says 'Alternative' afterwards, which is rather significant and a big fucking clue that its Not Cream. Do you also think that 'I can't believe that you think that I'll think that this shite is butter' is butter because it says butter on the label?

metspengler · 10/06/2017 13:40

@jay55 - there was no 8l bucket. So that first paragraph of your post would be vital descriptive information if you expect any logical person to pick a 7l bucket

Most people told "get me a small 8l bucket" would, if there were no 8l buckets, buy the smallest one that could hold the amount OH mentioned.

DermotOLogical · 10/06/2017 13:41

The Elmlea and the squash.... I totally agree with you.

The bucket however you are mad. Surely if it's too heavy when filled to 13 litres, only put 8 litres in. You don't have to fill a bucket!

RiversrunWoodville · 10/06/2017 13:47

Hmm I don't mind Elmlea it's handy to have lurking in fridge in the unlikely event I spot a rogue raspberry/goosegab before the blackbird

iffikitty · 10/06/2017 13:53

Well I get you totally OP. If I want something done correctly I have to do it myself and I resent it.

Apparently it's my own fault because I'm so good at everything. Git.

Gwenhwyfar · 10/06/2017 13:53

I buy Elmlea. It's UHT so I can use it when I want.

Longdistance · 10/06/2017 13:53

If you want a job doing, do it yourself!

previouslyanumber · 10/06/2017 13:55

I have had the Elmlea situation. If it had been for a topping it wouldn't have mattered, but it was for a potato recipe and I used it. It turned out edible but not very pleasant. However I have had the same result with the Waitrose Essential cream which he also picked up, it just doesn't work.

I too have to be very specific with shopping lists and even include photos because 12 packets of something we will never use will often turn up because it was the same make. I have to include photos when it is something we don't often buy. Even saying don't get an alternative doesn't always work.

I am not sure if it is a man thing either, it seems like a lack of concentration problem here. Often things have to be returned because there is no way anyone will ever use them, not just food.

BoneyBackJefferson · 10/06/2017 14:04

TatianaLarina

Of course she is.

I didn't know elmlea isn't cream, but then I don't like cream, so wouldn't know.

He made decisions in the shop.

And I would agree with you more if it wasn't for the bucket, which lets be honest is still a bucket.

And if the OP is this picky about this she should do them herself. (just like those on here would tell a man to)

topcat2014 · 10/06/2017 14:12

I didn't even know buckets came in large and small - every day is a school day on here.

I just buy buckets.

topcat2014 · 10/06/2017 14:13

Mind you, not sure that I know what Elmlea is either. But then, I avoid all cream if I can.

VelvetSpoon · 10/06/2017 14:13

Do you go shopping at his request and faithfully buy everything he asks you to get? Or do you get an approximation. I'd hazard a guess at the latter.

If your requirements are so stringent next time go yourself and leave him to undercoat the skirting boards or whatever essential task you were doing.

And fwiw Elmlea is a perfectly good alternative to 'actual' cream. It has a much longer life so I often buy it as we rarely use an entire carton in 3-4 days. I don't know anyone who would turn their nose up at it, even if they did notice it wasn't real cream.

expatinscotland · 10/06/2017 14:17

Elmlea is not 'perfectly good'. It's perfectly shite and I guess all the people on here who have been writing that they can't abide the stuff and it makes their food taste horrible are lying because they can definitely tell it is not real cream.

VelvetSpoon · 10/06/2017 14:32

I imagine it depends how you serve it. I use it in small quantities for whipping/ dessert purposes as we don't need the extra calories gained from adding it to meals.

I don't know anyone who would reject it, but then I don't know anyone who's a fuss arse either.

OutToGetYou · 10/06/2017 14:35

topcat2014

"Mind you, not sure that I know what Elmlea is either. But then, I avoid all cream if I can."

Well, you don;t need to avoid Elmlea, cos it's not cream. :)

ElinorRigby · 10/06/2017 14:43

I don't know anyone who's a fuss arse

Oh, I think most people are 'fuss arses' - if you want to put it that way.

If my reading of Mumsnet is accurate, it is full of people who have to have toilets not used by visitors, or else they have to wash their hair every morning, or will only wear a particular brand of make up, or won't eat a cake their neighbour has baked because it might be dirty. They won't sit directly on a strange loo seat. They won't eat fish. (Or mushrooms.)

It is the realm of fussiness and 'My house. My rules.'

OP posts:
HateSummer · 10/06/2017 14:47

Is this a '3 strikes and he's out' situation

Yes it is. YOU not him.

What a twat.