AIBU or does this look like my husband has contacted an escort for sex??

[FeellikeLTB]

Sorry for rambling but I'm shaking and fuming right now.

Hubby came home today from working abroad and I've just seen this screenshot in his IPad gallery. (Not snooping, daughter and I were scrolling through pics on there from when we last visited)
We are at his mothers for the night and it's the first time he's seen her in 10 months so I don't want to make a scene.
I have confronted him and at first he looked confused like I was showing him a picture of a fucking dog with 3 heads and said "I don't know" then he said "it's a long story". I told him I didn't want to hear it and I wanted him to drive us home after we'd eaten and he could stay at his mums.
He's now gone upstairs in his old bedroom because he's tired from the flight, bless him And I'm sat downstairs with his mum and sister who hardly speak English entertaining our 6 year old daughter.
I want to smother him with a pillow but I'm not insured to drive the car.
So AIBU to think this is him looking for a shag while he's working away?
And what should I do?

Can not cant

I'm going to sign off now, DD has fell asleep in the car and I'll be heading to bed when I get in. He is going back his mums I can't deal with him anymore tonight. Thanks for the support I'll be honest I do kind of believe him I've caught him out lying about stupid shit before by making him swear to God etc.

If it were true he could have told you straight away, he wouldn't have went to bed for a few hours to think of a story.

Keep the ipad with you, there will be other evidence on there, especially if he has an iphone linked to it.

Last thing I want to do is shag him atm

I agree with Indi

An innocent man would have said "WTF?!" and dealt with is straight away. He didnt. And this isnt stupid shit, this is his marriage on the line and frankly he will say anything to get out of it.

Swearing on your DD's life means nothing I am afraid, it really doesnt. Right now he would stand before God and say he hadnt done it if he thought that you would believe him, there is nothing cheaters wont do when they are found out.

You caught him out before by making him swear to god so this fine upstanding bastion of religiosity knows exactly how to make you believe him now.

You believe him?! What?

Sorry but your attitude completely changed before and after food?! Where you just hangry?

Man who works away, has escort screen shots on phone, hides in bedroom when discussed, makes up story, puppet wife believes him

I'm pretty sure that once you've solicited sex whilst married, your odds of gods blessing are already slim to none. I'm not sure swearing to god will cut it this time.

I realise you're being sarcastic, AF, but just in case OP is in any doubt - if you do have sex, do not double bag (condoms are much more likely to rip if misused this way).

And his friend borrowed it on different dates? As if.

Sweetheart, he's lying. It's beyond obvious. Everything screams of it from what you've seen to how he's responded. Also obvious is the fact that this was not some one off moment of madness but very very planned.

I don't understand your 'well if he has cheated I'lll...' when you do already know he has? Quite literally, the evidence of it is right in front of you, you have a clear dialogue of him soliciting sex/being knocked back by one person and called a pervert/persisting over period of time until he scored/negotiating price (not something he'd do if this was his very first time of ever doing this)/saving address details via screenshot.

It's grim but at least you know now rather than if suceeded at TTC.

You're kind of worse off. The glimmer of hope limbo is the worst. You will forever be mistrusting. Quite rightly so. It's torture OP. Please don't do that to yourself.

There was no need for that flypaper.

He's gone back his mums I'm home, I'm sad and just need to sleep. He begged me to let him stay but I told him unless he comes up with something other than swearing he was telling the truth he isn't coming back in the house. I'm sorry I haven't dealt with this how most people would however I'm not a pushover I just don't want the drama. I've got a busy weekend so that will keep me occupied. Thanks so much I will update

You said you believed his sorry tale. People will react to that. You also said he had form for lying and you had obviously forgiven him for previous instances too.

If you want to live like that, it's your choice but don't be surprised if people react with despair that you are even contemplating it

I am glad that you have felt able to take that action Feel

Its horrible when something like this happens and it isnt as simple as "kick him out" but have taken the first step and he will know now that you are not taking this shit.

Do not accept any messages from a friend as "proof" either. A certain type of man will always back his friends up over shit like this so it means nothing.

Stay strong

Flypaper that post was completely uncalled for.

@TigerApplique do most religious people help their friends acquire illegal sex from prostitutes a large proportion of whom are trafficked? Because that would be enough for me honestly. If DH was assisting his friends to have unwanted sex illegally for money with a prostitute. What is the likely history of a sex worker in the ME?

I don't believe a word of it but even the lie is repulsive.

So sorry you are going through this OP. Take care of yourself and your DD.

I agree MrsTP

When the lie is just as bad as the truth, it really is time to judge appropriately

He's either a punter or a pimp

Take your pick

Trouble is a lot of religions are misogynistic and hypocritical. And if the man has an affair/uses prostitutes /is secretly gay the wife is blamed for it.