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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or does this look like my husband has contacted an escort for sex??

406 replies

FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 20:23

Sorry for rambling but I'm shaking and fuming right now.

Hubby came home today from working abroad and I've just seen this screenshot in his IPad gallery. (Not snooping, daughter and I were scrolling through pics on there from when we last visited)
We are at his mothers for the night and it's the first time he's seen her in 10 months so I don't want to make a scene.
I have confronted him and at first he looked confused like I was showing him a picture of a fucking dog with 3 heads and said "I don't know" Hmm then he said "it's a long story". I told him I didn't want to hear it and I wanted him to drive us home after we'd eaten and he could stay at his mums.
He's now gone upstairs in his old bedroom because he's tired from the flight, bless him Angry And I'm sat downstairs with his mum and sister who hardly speak English entertaining our 6 year old daughter.
I want to smother him with a pillow but I'm not insured to drive the car.
So AIBU to think this is him looking for a shag while he's working away?
And what should I do?

AIBU or does this look like my husband has contacted an escort for sex??
OP posts:
Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 22:39

Fuck off funnyface with your this doesn't ring true

OP posts:
CherriesInTheSnow · 09/06/2017 22:44

There's no need to pick the OP, she is obviously in shock. If I've read right she has not seen her H for 10 months, must have been looking forward to seeing him, and has had this bombshell dropped on her away from her own home and with his family.

I wouldn't wish a situation like that on anyone and would probably be acting similarly in front of his family and my daughter until I was abLe to have an adult conversation with him in private, away from my child.

Just because she hasnt screamed the house down or dragged her child away from a parent she also hasn't seen in months doesn't necessarily mean she is going to roll over and put up with his disgusting mysoginistic bastardry :(

FanDabbyFloozy · 09/06/2017 22:45

Sorry you're going through this. I know you're embarrassed because you're at someone's house but start to get angry. Tell them all you're leaving because he's a cheat and insist on going home. Don't worry about saving face - his family will support him, not you long-term.

Do hide DD's passport..

TigerApplique · 09/06/2017 22:45

FeellikeLTB I have read through the whole thread and I think he could be inoccent or a friend has sent it to him, whatever... if he was going to hire an escort he would not be taking screenshots of the conversation he has had with her... he would be going to great measures to be discreet, meaning clearing all search history etc.

You've said that he is carrying on as normal, now that's how behaviour from a guy who has just been caught having an encounter with an escort.

Speak to him, you've been with him for a long while you'll know if he is lieing.

Other posters on here are quick to think the worst and throw insults at a man that they've never met.

FeellikeLTB I hope it is all just a big misunderstanding.

CherriesInTheSnow · 09/06/2017 22:45

Cross posted with funnyface,

If you don't think its true report or ignore.

As far as you know this is a support thread, so why not offer support Angry

NoOneLikesACrispyTowel · 09/06/2017 22:47

To be fair, tackling something so huge, private and humiliating shouldnt be done in the same house as MIL, SIL and two children.

Of course she cant tackle it now.

Howecer, if i were you id be taking that taxi home and changing the locks.

Hes guilty as fuck and the fact that hes hidden from you just cements that...

QuickQuickSloe · 09/06/2017 22:48

A screen shot would have everything visible on the screen. On an iPad or IPhone this includes the web address, the time etc.

I don't know if that's relevant, just that the photo is not a screen shot from an iPad.

I've screen shot this so you can see what I mean.

AIBU or does this look like my husband has contacted an escort for sex??
AnyFucker · 09/06/2017 22:48

He hasn't been "carrying on as normal" at all

He gave some shit holding remark to make op stfu and then went to hide in bed. Twice.

LoveDeathPrizes · 09/06/2017 22:51

It's not normal to leave your wife in pain, confused, hurt while you nap, no. I'd say that's quite the opposite. It smacks of guilt and panic.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/06/2017 22:52

OP I think that you need to go up and say that you want him to take you home, give him one chance to do that. If he doesnt then get the taxi. You cant just wait there all night for him to realise that this isnt going away because he has closed his eyes and put his fingers in his ears.

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 09/06/2017 22:52

He's a sexist shit who thinks you'll take whatever he dishes out.

I'm so sorry.

He's a vile man who just wants one thing.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/06/2017 22:53

And come on, give the OP a break. This has all unravelled in the last few hours, of course she isnt in a place to have a huge show down and dump his ass on the spot.

Apart from anything else, they are not at home and I wouldnt want to be having that row conversation in front of my ILs.

Neverknowing · 09/06/2017 22:54

What an arsehole.
He's just left you alone and confused and fucked off? He's not even tried to offer an explanation as he knows he's caught and you're not worth it to him. Honestly if it's an easy explanation why hasn't he said so ?
I'm so sorry for you op. I hope you and your DD are okay, I'd be making sure he stays at your MILs until he treats you like a human being Flowers

Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 22:54

So here's his story...
His single friend was messaging an escort on his iPad as his friend doesn't have VPN. The woman messaged back after his friend left so he was conversing with her then sent the screenshot to his friend to let him know the details. The kids are still playing I don't know what to do

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 09/06/2017 22:54

quick I suspect that the photo is one the OP took of the screenshot iykwim

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 09/06/2017 22:57

Ha yep sure.

Because you'd do that, right?

I'd say to DD that you are getting tired so you've booked a taxi to go home.

Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 22:57

Yes I took a photo of the iPad

OP posts:
PopcornBits · 09/06/2017 22:57

Hahaha he is lying to you and I think you know it. What a cunt.

Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 22:59

He's swore on our DD's life he has never cheated and that he's telling the truth I'm so torn he's sat playing with the kids now

OP posts:
Georgeofthejungle · 09/06/2017 22:59

Ask him to show you the message of him sending it to his friend. Sounds like bull to me :(

Neverknowing · 09/06/2017 22:59

If that was the honest truth why didn't he say so straight away? It's such a simple explanation not like he needed a nap to explain it all?
I'd trust your gut, do you think he's lying? If you do, don't give him a explanation and leave with your DD. Leave him like he left you, confused. It's not your job to keep him informed. Do you tonight, good luck Flowers

Slippersandacuppa · 09/06/2017 23:00

Wonder why he couldn't tell you that straight away. You'd have thought he'd be so happy to see you (if innocent) that he'd want to be near you, not leave you with his family. Hmmmm. How are you?

TigerApplique · 09/06/2017 23:00

FeellikeLTB Please tell me, do you believe him or not?

Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 23:00

He said he didn't say right away because I looked angry Hmm how else would I look ffs

OP posts:
RainbowPastel · 09/06/2017 23:01

It's took him all night to concoct that bullshit Hmm