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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or does this look like my husband has contacted an escort for sex??

406 replies

FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 20:23

Sorry for rambling but I'm shaking and fuming right now.

Hubby came home today from working abroad and I've just seen this screenshot in his IPad gallery. (Not snooping, daughter and I were scrolling through pics on there from when we last visited)
We are at his mothers for the night and it's the first time he's seen her in 10 months so I don't want to make a scene.
I have confronted him and at first he looked confused like I was showing him a picture of a fucking dog with 3 heads and said "I don't know" Hmm then he said "it's a long story". I told him I didn't want to hear it and I wanted him to drive us home after we'd eaten and he could stay at his mums.
He's now gone upstairs in his old bedroom because he's tired from the flight, bless him Angry And I'm sat downstairs with his mum and sister who hardly speak English entertaining our 6 year old daughter.
I want to smother him with a pillow but I'm not insured to drive the car.
So AIBU to think this is him looking for a shag while he's working away?
And what should I do?

AIBU or does this look like my husband has contacted an escort for sex??
OP posts:
Zoflorabore · 10/06/2017 05:57

How awful that this thread has taken a nasty turn Confused just because AF has said something blunt she is called a nasty bitch- nice.

Anyway, op, it seems your husband has as
little regard for your dd as he has for you, sorry that sounds harsh but come on, do you actually believe he thinks you're going to fall for that and by involving his dd he is hoping to appeal to your better nature.

I am naive, I admit that, but even I can read straight through this. He has cheated and he is desperately wanting you to believe he hasn't.
If you choose to believe this crap about the friend do you honestly think it's going to stop him doing it again? Of course not, the only lesson it will teach him is to be more careful about his screenshots.

You sound lovely, I sincerely hope it works out for you Flowers

BitOutOfPractice · 10/06/2017 06:34

Oh dear op. Doesn't look good.

In my experience of men working away in the Middle East without their partners, the majority use prostitutes. Or have a local girlfriend. So if he isn't up to no good, he's in the minority.

number1wang · 10/06/2017 06:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish · 10/06/2017 07:06

He's shagging prostitutes while he's at work abroad and the idiot has screen shotted the arrangement for the address and been caught out.

His story is pathetic. It was not 'his mate'. What a fucking liar.

But it's your sham of a marriage OP and that's up to you.

seoulsurvivor · 10/06/2017 07:07

number

Bit harsh. It's easy to talk big when you're behind a screen, but if it was your husband, I'm sure many of us would want to cling to the lie too.

pictish · 10/06/2017 07:10

I mean why...just why would he lie upstairs at his parents house in silence after being caught red handed rather than just tell you that...if it was true, which it's bloody not.

He lay there with his measly little brain racing...how can I get out of this...how can I get out of this?

I must say 0 out of 10 for originality. "It was my mate, honest."

Laughable, if not so serious. He's taking you for a right mug.

HotelEuphoria · 10/06/2017 07:19

I am so sorry for you OP, but you are a clever, honourable woman and don't need him.

I, as most other posters can feel his guilt. No one, but no one who was innocent would take to his bed when faced with that. He had two hours to lay there and come up with a pathetic excuse and then swear on his daughters life. He has had several hours to get a friend to fabricate more lies.

He is guilty, and he knows he is. Now you need to deal with how you move on, and a husband that works away and plays away is going to continue to do so.

CPtart · 10/06/2017 07:42

Why were you planning another baby if your relationships 'a bit rocky?'

MrsJamin · 10/06/2017 07:45

OP, how have you left it with your "D"H? Are you going to see him today? I think he's lying too.

DarthLipgloss · 10/06/2017 07:47

I think he screenshotted it to confirm the price agreed.

MrsJamin · 10/06/2017 07:49

I'm not sure if it makes any difference but that picture is not a screenshot, it's a photo taken of a screen. You can tell from the wavy blue lines of another screen and the fact that it's at an angle. Perhaps he was using a computer and needed to keep the details on the screen. I think you can tell from the folder name the image came from what the source of the picture was, whether from someone else like WhatsApp or from the camera itself. I'm not sure what difference that makes now though.

Justanothernameonthepage · 10/06/2017 08:00

He could well be swearing on your child's life that he's never cheated as he doesn't see using escorts as cheating (I know a couple of men who believe paying means it's not cheating as cheating is more an affair). But no matter what you do, please insist on a STD check for you and DH.

number1wang · 10/06/2017 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LagunaBubbles · 10/06/2017 08:06

Ah the good old "it wasn't me, it was my friend" story. Original.

Ledkr · 10/06/2017 08:15

Just remember. You never know how you will react until it happens to you.
I am an extremely strong independent woman but turned into a weak and feeble mess when I discovered my xh infidelity.
It's so easy to get frustrated with someone when they don't act as you think they should/you would. But you are talking about some faceless eejit, the op is talking about someone who to her is just like our dps so don't judge her for not immediately throwing him out and starting divorce proceedings.

MrsJamin · 10/06/2017 08:19

Wait a minute, I think image you attached is your photo of the screenshot, sorry I got confused.

number1wang · 10/06/2017 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seoulsurvivor · 10/06/2017 08:20

what ledkr said

pictish · 10/06/2017 08:22

I agree with you too ledkr. I know I'm blunt - but I also understand that this is her life partner and turning your life upside down is extremely scary.

pictish · 10/06/2017 08:23

My scorn is for him...not OP. x

Nofunkingworriesmate · 10/06/2017 08:32

He's fasting !!!! How about not cheating!!!
Get a sexual health check up ASAP I know someone who gave birth to a handicapped daughter from un treated syphillus

Why are you having a polite chit chat ?

Overtiredbackagain · 10/06/2017 08:32

How are you today OP?

ArchieStar · 10/06/2017 08:36

Get yourself checked OP, regardless of the outcome with him you need to do this. Good luck with everything else! Flowers

jellyfrizz · 10/06/2017 08:52

He screenshot it for the mobile number and address I'd say. In most of the UAE there aren't street numbers so you give addresses by saying near this petrol station (or whatever landmark).

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP, wishing you lots of strength to deal with it.

EastMidsMumOf1 · 10/06/2017 09:35

Completely agree with what ledkr said. You cant belittle OPs decisions surrounding her husband because it doesnt suit with what you think would do. Its not easy seeing something like this then thinking right lets pack the bags, take the kids and start divorce proceedings, you think any wife would want to actually believe their dh has done this? Hope things work out for you OP

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