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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Your first child?

162 replies

SugarnetMum · 09/06/2017 19:12

What age were you? Did you have to make a decision to keep the baby? Iv found out I'm pregnant today. Obviously I'm all over the place!

OP posts:

maddiemookins16mum · 09/06/2017 19:53

40, unplanned, unexpected. She was 13 last month 😁

eeniemeenieminiemoe2014 · 09/06/2017 19:54

21 for first 23 for second, was also pregnant at 19 but terminated. been a lone mum 5 months now

MOIST · 09/06/2017 19:55

I was 21. Known DH for about 5 minutes. Morning after pill failure. She's 21 now and we are still happily together.

healthyeating · 09/06/2017 19:58

I was 28. Kind of planned. Decided to start trying but within the month thought we may be better off leaving it a little longer. Too late though, I was already pregnant. I've fallen pregnant twice since (one miscarried, the other 6 months old) and both were planned and conceived within the first month of trying. We are so fortunate.

Original poster

SugarnetMum · 09/06/2017 20:00

Yes I will have family support I have all my family near me, a great family. There is a history of young mums like my aunt who had a child at sixteen so I guess I'm okay! My mum had me at my age too... At first I was thinking no way I'll have to get an abortion but after thinking it out realistically, I'm kind of excited for this new chapter..its the start of a proper life and ironically I remember my boss telling me less than a year ago "everything will change when you have your first child" and here we are.

I'm scared to tell my family though, but they will be huge support after the shock I'm 99% sure.

After all the shock and confusion I do think and hope it will be the best thing to happen me too.. I need that kind of stability and a little person to love in my life..

OP posts:

Original poster

SugarnetMum · 09/06/2017 20:02

Me and dp were joking about stuff like "pregnant lady coming through"! About me while walking around, cause the last few weeks I kind of knew I was (maybe everyone says that) even though I was in denial, and we were light heartedly talking about names etc. Just today its been confirmed by the nurse..

OP posts:

cheesychops · 09/06/2017 20:02

Congratulations!! It's a shock now but once you've told everyone and got your head round it is the most exciting time.
I was 25 and baby was planned.
They're seriously the best thing that has ever happened to us!

ColourfulOrangex · 09/06/2017 20:02

I was 18 when I fell pregnant, just turned 19 when I gave birth, originally went for an abortion but decided I couldn't do it (went for the first appointment) his dad was around until 11 months when we split and he didn't want to know...I wouldn't change my son (6) for the world and am due his baby sister next month

stuntcamel · 09/06/2017 20:05

mrsroboto · 09/06/2017 20:08

I was 33, wish I'd been a little younger to be honest! Best of luck. It's really hard work at first but by the time they're older you'll still be really young, whereas I can't see myself going clubbing again!

GreeboIsACutePussPuss · 09/06/2017 20:08

I was 15 with my first, 19 with my second, both totally unplanned, keeping them both was absolutely the right choice for me. first was through rape so a difficult choice, 2nd was a split condom and a much easier choice as her dad is lovely and we were very much in love, DS is nearly 13, DD is 8.

It sounds like you already know what you want to do and are just scared (which is normal at any age by the way) how does DP feel about it?

seafoodeatit · 09/06/2017 20:09

19 and planned, took a good couple of months due to very messed up cycles but didn't know at the time it was due to pcos, our second took 4 years so it was clearly the right thing for us.

AlpacaLypse · 09/06/2017 20:10

Referring back to your previous post - most of us worry we're going to be crap mums... The fact that you're thinking this shows that you're probably not going to be IYSWIM!

Referring to your most recent post - yup, you'll be fine

How does your baby's dad feel about this all though? It must be as scary for him as it is for you, and it is much much easier if both parents work together.

Meanwhile - and for now, and and for several years in the future once BF is over...

RossGellersteeth · 09/06/2017 20:11

Ah congratulations SugarnetMum

You sound quite excited, all the best.

Goldmandra · 09/06/2017 20:11

if that's the right decision or not who knows!..

You just summed up parenthood!

You go with your gut feeling and do your best. Nobody tells you which bits you got right.

So take the path you feel is right for you.

You won't be a crap mum. You think things through, take responsibility and are already taking care of your baby. Those qualities will stand you in good stead

paulapantsdown · 09/06/2017 20:13

first pregnancy at 21 and had a termination
first child born at 33 by the same father

never regretted either decision for a second

Original poster

SugarnetMum · 09/06/2017 20:16

Cake and chocolate sounds good alpaca:) thanks so much everyone..I knew I'd get cheered up here!!

We will be talking about it tonight , I feel like he would like the baby, and could be just as excited as I am. But still obviously scary as you'd expect.

OP posts:

Lasagnabreath · 09/06/2017 20:17

19 and unplanned. Love her to bits and don't regret her for a second. I do regret the falling pregnant within a month of being with her dad though. We are still together and have a planned second. We argue a lot though due to the stresses our second has brought. Sometimes the first child is the easiest and the planned one is the hardest, at least in my case anyway lol.

user1488122513 · 09/06/2017 20:17

I found out a few weeks before I was 20. He's now 8 months and crawling/ trying to stand on his hands and feet. I knew his dad for a few days and was a morning after pill fail. I had been really irresponsible, but I made the best decision he's amazing and I know what's important now. Not going to say it's been easy though, first few weeks were really tough. As long as you have support that's the main thing. Hope things work out for you x

kel1234 · 09/06/2017 20:18

I was 21 when I got pregnant and 22 when I gave birth. It was planned. We couldn't of been happier

user1494854169 · 09/06/2017 20:18

I was 16 when I got pregnant and 17 when I had him, best thing I did to keep him. He is now a happy 7 year old enjoying life, yes I was a young mum but never stopped me, I went to college and have a job. I'm now going on to do nursing! All I can say is don't let anything stop you

Good luck!

Herbie22 · 09/06/2017 20:22

Pregnant at 25 baby at 26. Completely unplanned and worst timing ever but best surprise ever.

MetalMidget · 09/06/2017 20:23

36, we'd been trying for two years. I'd initially been a bit ambivalent about having children, but my husband was quite keen. No regrets, even though he steals my sleep and keeps on pulling and poking my face (my baby, that is not my husband!)

mrsBeverleygoldberg · 09/06/2017 20:29

I have endometriosis so I was really worried I couldn't have dcs. I was terrified because my parents are abusive and I was afraid I would be like my mum. I wasn't like her and becoming a mum was the start of my recovery. It was the best thing I've ever done.

Unexpectedbaby · 09/06/2017 20:30

I was 25. Didn't find out until I was 30 weeks so didn't have much choice but although terrified was over the moon and was the best thing that has ever happened.

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