To be irrationally upset by DH's vote.

[brotherhoodofspam]

Just found out that DH has voted Tory for the 2nd time now. He's doing it tactically as hates SNP but I'd already pointed out to him this morning that labour came 2nd here last time. I know it's stupid but I feel really upset about this. I always thought we had a similar world view and I hate the thought that he's done the whole cliche of turning from a left wing student into a right wing middle class professional. He's really angry with me now for the way I reacted but I wouldn't be the person be married if I just said. " that's nice dear". Just now I'm feeling pretty disgusted with him though. AIBU?

I honestly don't know what world some of you live

The one where our school is "lucky" because it's only had to cut 4 members of staff this year and it's the lowest in the area.

You know that some people who vote Tory don't actually want to kill puppies?

What the fucking fuck are you all thinking to be telling her "It's a democracy and he can exercise his democratic right in any way he wants."?

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK POLITICS IS THERE FOR?

He has the democratic right not to tell her how he voted. He apparently did not use that right. If she hates him now, that is on him, entirely, and he has NO RIGHT to complain.

And if I was married to a man who voted against women's rights, which is totally possible in your oh so precious democracy, then I'd divorce asap, and I hope anyone here would do the same!

Really, do you expect American women whose husbands voted for Trump and told them about it to say "Oh, that's nice dear, it's your choice", when Trump wants to take away WOMEN's choices?

VOTING IMPACTS PEOPLE'S LIVES IN A DEMOCRACY! That's why it is called a democracy!

Really, how CAN so many people be so fucking NAIVE?

Voting is not just some GAME people participate in! It has a real impact!
(At least it ought to. The fact that parties are getting increasingly more similar is a problem, but that still doesn't mean the party you vote for is a personal preference like chocolate or vanilla ice cream)

And if someone takes actions to make life harder for you, then you are well within your rights to despise that person for it!

His right to vote however he wants is just that. The right to vote however he wants. It does NOT mean he has a right to not be criticised for it when he chooses to tell people how he voted.

"I'm upset that his have changed so much since we got together (over 20 years ago)" You shouldn't be upset by this OP, it's a sign of growing and maturing to change your view point.

So vote the way you want. That's your right and I respect that

I find it sad that you aren't able to do the same - I think that's morally repugnant too...

I suppose when you marry someone you have to accept that their political views (as well as views on other things) may change over time. It depends how far his opinions drift from yours and how much that effects how you view one another. Some couples thrive on differing viewpoints and vigorous debate, other people find it damages their relationship.

But he can vote how he likes. I sympathise though, I would be disappointed if my DH ended up being a Tory voter. Horrified if he ended up supporting the Kippers.

Somehow not seeing any of the self righteous Tory members on this thread being impressed by their partners voting labour or green. Fundamental difference of values.

I don't think you are being at all unreasonable. Your personal politics are part of who you are and if he has changed from the person that he once was then this could be significant for your relationship. I couldn't be married to someone with different political views from me as politics affects all parts of every day life. I would never be intolerant of an acquaintance or a stranger because they voted Tory but I would never choose to have a friendship or relationship with someone who did. I take it personally as an NHS employee, my job and my children's welfare is at risk (as well as the wider picture obviously). Hope you guys are ok anyway.

Vestal No you are quite right - we all need to agree with you.

And everyone who votes differently to you will be surprised to realise that it impacts real people.

Yabu.

YABU.

Everyone should be allowed to vote for who they like, regardless of those around them.

That is the whole point of our voting system - everyone is entitled to one vote, and it is their vote to make, without the need for others to know.

I hate all the current FB posts that make out that you can only vote for XYZ party and anything else is wrong because of .... and you are therefore a bad person because of .... And I have seen these kind of points from both Tory and Labour voters. Its wrong - the only important point the people should be impressing is that everyone SHOULD vote ideally, if they are entitled to - even if it is to sail their mark and have their dissent recorded. Even then though, it should be one pleasantly. Hate the aggression that is associated with voting and I can't help but feel it doesn't help at all, and is possibly even a reason why many people - esp those who are not overly bothered by politics - don't bother at all.

I have never told DH how I vote. I do know how he votes. I don't tell anyone who I vote for - its none of their business.

pass they don't do a terribly good job if keeping silent.

I try to respect all beliefs. For example, in Germany, I have plenty of time for Angela Merkel. I believe that, although her policies don't tally with mine, she is doing what she thinks is right. Similarly with John Major - I don't agree with him on everything but I can see what he's trying to do. I live in Korea and can understand why many vote right wing.

Sadly, I cannot say the same about the UK. I believe they are bad for our country and that their policies are doing vulnerable people a lot of harm.

It has nothing to do with left or right wing for me. It is this particular government.

That's the point - I wouldn't judge someone for voting differently to me - I'm an adult and therefore understand that some people think differently

ou know that some people who vote Tory don't actually want to kill puppies?

No because they need the puppies to kill foxes.

livia they've got foxes to hunt, who needs puppies!

Ha excellent cross post!

I'd feel exactly the same - not necessarily because of the vote itself (although I would be slightly disappointed), but more that it indicates the growing apart or the difference in political opinion. Its important to me to have the same political outlook as my OH, but for loads of people it's not an issue. Just depends on what's important to you

Yanbu to feel upset but don't go on at him, tactical voting is a minefield.

Of course he is free to vote however he wants. However, OP is equally at liberty to reevaluate her relationship based on the information he has given her about his voting.

No way would I share my bed or my life with a Tory. I just could not do it.

This is hilarious

If you are a little delicate perhaps you shouldn't discuss politics with your partner? Some people do change political allegiance through their life.

Much as some people want to believe it, it isn't like voting for the Nazis.

Perhaps some of you would be happier living in a one party state with no democracy? I'm sure there are plenty of placez

*me264I

Look at some of the language used by Tory voters here.

Pathetic. A knob. 'This is why I don't vote Labour'.

Explain how it is different.

YABU to feel that way about his vote. I'm a lib dem member and my husband is a Tory member, albeit neither of our parties will win locally as it's a massively safe Labour area. We live in a democracy.

However if his primary motivation is to keep the snp out then HIBU to vote conservative tactically if Labour were second in 2015!

I can understand that you are upset. I would be too, because voting Tory suggests holding attitudes and beliefs that are repugnant to me, and I would wonder about the person I was married to having those views.

😂😂😂

You know that some people who vote Tory don't actually want to kill puppies But quite happy to overlook it when it does happen, because it wont affect them. Fox hunting, dla cock up, welfare cuts to the most vulnerable. I do believe a lot of Tory voters think these are wrong, but the im alright jack attitude prevails. Or worse, these groups have to suffer for the umm greater good of society because brexit.

You sound like a nightmare