To be irrationally upset by DH's vote.

[brotherhoodofspam]

Just found out that DH has voted Tory for the 2nd time now. He's doing it tactically as hates SNP but I'd already pointed out to him this morning that labour came 2nd here last time. I know it's stupid but I feel really upset about this. I always thought we had a similar world view and I hate the thought that he's done the whole cliche of turning from a left wing student into a right wing middle class professional. He's really angry with me now for the way I reacted but I wouldn't be the person be married if I just said. " that's nice dear". Just now I'm feeling pretty disgusted with him though. AIBU?

I don't think you're being unreasonable or irrational. A vote for the Tories is a vote for decimated public services.

I hate it that my DD voted Labour because I think voting to borrow 125 billion is crazy but I would never mention it to her as she is now an adult and each one of us is entitled to our own vote. Your DH is entitled to his own vote just as much as you are. What annoys me is when Losers who don't get their own way carry out demonstrations causing chaos in London; we saw it after Brexit vote and now again after Corbyn lost.

There seems to be a correlation between poor grammar and ignorance in relation to politics on this thread.

caring We live in a democracy. People have the right to protest.

Or do you want TM to take away that right too?

There seems to be a correlation between poor grammar and ignorance in relation to politics on this thread.

Or you mean they don't agree with you...

No not really... different views are fine but 'evidence' from the Sun and Daily Mail not so much.

jonesey

What has evidence from the mail or sun got to do with your comment?

DH & I have never told each other how we voted until after this election as the result was so unexpected & in addition our 2 eldest sons voted in their first General election, so we had a 4 way chat!

I've voted Tory, Labour & LibDem over the years but DH has always voted the same way. One soon voted as we expected him to, but the other voted for a party we never thought he would.

We often discuss politics but we never criticise how the other voted. It's called being adults.

Lying - I was illustrating MY point that for some people politics is not that important. I included both your examples in my follow-up post and you missed my point again - yet I am the "selective" (aka "naughty") one.

I didn't actually specify a gender, but take it that way if you will. Your stated division of labour was based on an assumed uneven split in what a couple "does for their family" in the home and with their children. You're probably right if you see it as a largely feminist issue.
And yes, we could well have very different political views (ergo values). It makes for an interesting discussion on here - but a poor foundation for a happy partnership (in my world).

Yanbu.

Im.not saying you should divorce your husband (lol), but people get together becuase they allign, and when you don't it's upsetting.

It really just depends as to how important this difference is to you. Different strokes for different strokes.

Politics is really important to me, but for others it isn't. Perhaps you have different values that need sorting through?

mrspuddleduck it has nothing to do with being adults, so patronising.

My husband and I discuss politics daily. There would be little chance of me not knowing roughly who he is voting for, because we know each other's opinions on most issues. It is one of the things I like about him - we are politically similar. If he suddenly voted Tory (or the local equivalent, he isn't British and can't vote in UK elections) then I'd really wonder what had happened to his views and why he'd changed so much.

Maybe politics just matters more to the OP than to you. I mean, you obviously don't talk about politics as much or you'd have an idea who your partner voted for. That's fine, every relationship is different.

I mean, Corbyn divorced his second wife because she wanted to send their kid to a grammar school! No doubt people here would think that's unreasonable too, but stuff like that really matters to some of us. They're obviously fine with it as I read they're still friends.

I mean, Corbyn divorced his second wife because she wanted to send their kid to a grammar school! No doubt people here would think that's unreasonable too, but stuff like that really matters to some of us

I think it is beyond unreasonable. I think it makes him sound arrogant and fanatical.

Someone mentioned earlier in this thread about whether it is the person or the party who has changed.

I know I have moved to the centre over the years but Corbyn is taking the Labour party back to the far left of the 70s and 80s. Clearly many voters like that but I don't. So as far as I'm concerned my split with the Labour party is as much to do with Corbyn as me.

Yes I'm sure that's only reason they were divorced.

The only one in papers anyway.

I'd be upset, OP, if my dh voted Tory. The way you vote reflects your core beliefs and values, and I would struggle to be with a person who approved of and supported the nastiness of this current Tory government.

My dh and I vote for different parties and disagree on many things politically but if I knew he'd voted Tory then I'm afraid I would lose respect for him which would affect our relationship.

So, no, OP, you are not being unreasonable.

Corbyn's not trying to return to the 1970s like a poster upthread said, he's trying to take us forward but to a time more like the period 1935 to 1955 when Labour were in power under Clement Attlee.

Amongst other things Atlee nationalised many utilities and industries, established the NHS and social services and oversaw measures to increase employment. He was quiet and unassuming but had courage and determination - rather like JC.

Everyone harks on about Labour's disastrous years in the 1970s - I remember those years too vividly and there is no doubt they were awful but every political career or movement goes through periods of disaster - the end of the Thatcher years were hardly a barrel of laughs with poll tax riots, miners strikes, negative equity, house repossessions etc.

Atlee (Labour) was Prime Minister from 1945. We had a Conservative PM from 1935 to 1945 - 1935 was just after the awful 1929 crash and 1930s slump. The 1945 Labour victory was largely about men returning home from war wanting a new world after all the sacrifice (mind you it wasn't much fun for women - having to welcome back men they hardly knew and their children did not often know at all, forced out of work, nurseries closing, back into homes many of them did not want to be etc). I think my great grandmother and grandmother felt quite lucky to be widows then in some ways. At least sexism did not stop them working and my mother was single and soon to be working (teaching) from about 1949.

Ditch him. Politics is about what sort of world you want for everyone, and what your fundamental values are. If you don't agree about this, it is of absolutely no relevance that you may believe about what sort of breakfast cereal or curtains you want.

All the professionals I know voted labour. I don't know how I would have felt if DH had voted Conservative. He voted LD

onemorecup, I agree. Not only were the 70s Labour years very difficult, so were the Blair years. People were heartily sick of Labour and voted in Conservatives because they wanted change.

I believe that's at the heart of it, nobody really knows what the outcome of a party will be once it is incumbent and a) it's all too late then anyway until the next GE and b) they're all much of a lumbering and unwieldy muchness.

I haven't seen anything like the 'milk and honey' that has been promised by either Labour or Conversative. What I do see though, is posters on mumsnet utterly rabid that somebody could have voted for Labour - or Conservative - and this thread really takes the biscuit.

Who, in the opinion of the "I'd be upset for his voting choice" camp, should we all be voting for then? So vocal on this subject, I expect they'll be responding in droves (not).

7461Mary sorry you're right - I meant Labour leader - but anyway the point was that I don't believe JC wants to go back to the 1970s. He has a vision of the future more in line with Attlee's.

Lyingwitch I agree - I hate the vitriol poured forth about voting preferences. I'm a Labour supporter but enjoy robust debates with voters of other persuasions.

YABU but I would feel exactly the same

lass you know what sounds arrogant? You dictating what is and isn't an acceptable reason to end a marriage that has nothing to do with you?.

seoul... have you actually read this thread? You know, where posters have been peppering it with "I'd divorce him" when posters have commented on the different voting in their homes.

Pot and Kettle... call in for a colour check!

If posters are happy with their decisions in their own homes, with their own partners then they are free NOT to start public threads on the subject and read the ensuing comments.

In my opinion, this was a goady thread as are 70% of the threads here. Doesn't stop me posting on them and this one was semi-interesting, but goady is most definitely is.

Shouldn't it be the mark of a mature and equal relationship, to be able to vote differently without the ensuing soul-searching and feeling of betrayal that apparently would plague many on here?

I must say, the last thing on my mind when I fell for dh was whether or not he might vote Tory or Labour in ten years time! Surely most relationships are more visceral and complex than "well, at least we vote the same way", aren't they? Variety (of opinion) is the spice of life!

I mean, Corbyn divorced his second wife because she wanted to send their kid to a grammar school! No doubt people here would think that's unreasonable too, but

There is no but here, he abandoned his wife and kids over a political disagreement. What an abject cunt.